Need input for stepson ASAP as we are having a heated debate.
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Ok.. me and my step son are having a heated debate over the whole thing of step families .
Ok.. need input so he can read this, heres the issue:
I told him that when me and his father marry then my brothers and my sister become his uncle, he told me that no they would not be because they are not blood related basiclly,
I told him that BY LAW of my courtship to his father they would be considered family( aunts..uncles..cusions)because we married.
Ok.. I am I wrong and is this not recognized this way?
I tried explaining it to him in this sense.
They would be uncles and aunts to him right? 
My step son to be should be a dang politicion(lol
Ok.. please answer back so he can read the input here from all of you>
Si, senora. Tu es muy correcto.
You are right, but oftentimes, they do not wish to hear that. DH only has a cousin that lives near us. BM lives near and one of her sisters. We are all in the same city.
I however am from a large family on both my mother and father's side. So there are many aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents and even grandparents. All welcome them and treat them as one of their own. SS tends to fall right in and enjoy himself no matter the who or the where. SD on the other hand is timid and afraid and standoffish no matter how much you try to include her.
Craziest thing is that the "blood" family that she has makes no effort to be there, except for birthdays, holidays and report cards (when she calls). The non-blood family are very supportive, but are not openly received. I know she may long for the "blood" family, but the reality is that we can't make them be there and she should try opening up to the non-blood family that remember her beyond the infrequent special moments.
My new StepMother's Motto:
When life gives you lemons... Make a damn good Margarita.
Courtship brings new uncles and aunts by LAW right?
I agree..but our debate is this:
ARE step uncles and aunts and step grandparents CONSIDRED " FAMILY" through the law?
This was a point we are tring to battle eachother on. He says its not recognized that they would be Aunts or uncles because they are not blood related. I explained its through courtship that MADE them relatives to him now and it IS lawfully recognized as they ARE his aunts and uncles and so forth if I am married to his father.
Right or wrong?
he wants me to get a law book from the librarey come monday morning that shows that it is lawfully recognized that my family is considered " FAMILY' to him even though they are not blood related.
I told him they will be his family and WILL be lawfully recognized as that if I marry his father.
See what i am saying?
" Life is like a jar or Jalapeno peppers, what you
do today could burn your a*s tomorrow."
By his reasoning...
...his mother's brother's wife would not be his aunt, either, would she?
I disagree with his reasoning that blood creates the title of "aunt" or "uncle." Some relationships are formed by marriage, so you are right on that point. Your parent's sibling's spouse is your aunt or uncle, although that person is not related to you by blood. Some relationships are only formed by blood, such as with grandparents. Others are formed only by marriage, such as with in-laws, or by adoption.
Whether or not "the law" would define step-aunts, step-uncles, step-grandparents, step-cousins, etc. as "family" probably depends on why the question is being asked in the first place. For example, in some states your stepson could marry your sister, his "step-aunt," and that would NOT be considered incest because there is no blood relationship. In that case, the "step-aunt" is not family. However, if you adopted your stepson, thereby making him your son rather than your stepson, then him marrying your sister WOULD would be incest.
I think you are both a little wrong and a little right on this one. I think you should declare a "tie" and call it "extended" family. But my opinion? I think that answer could vary, depending on the situation and the jurisdiction. If you find a legal citation, I'd love to know the source.
♥ ANNE 8102 ♥
http://stepdom.blogspot.com
Family and nepotism
I just found this definition of "relative" for purposes of defining nepotism within your state's govt. Notice there is no mention of step-aunt, step-uncle, step-cousin, step-grandparent, etc.
Section 116.111(1)(c) sets forth those classes of relationship which are covered by the prohibition of the statute as follows:
'Relative' with respect to a public official, means an individual who is related to the public official as father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, first cousin, nephew, niece, husband, wife, father-in-law, mother-in-law, son-in-law, daughter-in-law, brother-in-law, sister-in-law, stepfather, stepmother, stepson, stepdaughter, stepbrother, stepsister, half brother, or half sister.
http://myfloridalegal.com/ago.nsf/Opinions/DF2B5E99240D38088525657600655BCB
That was from the Attorney General's website. Now, if you go to the FL House of Representatives website, you'll find a memorandum regarding lobbying which defines "relative" this way:
1. Relatives
A relative is an individual who is related to the member or employee as father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, first cousin, nephew, niece, husband, wife, father-in-law, mother-in-law, son-in-law, daughter-in-law, brother-in-law, sister-in-law, stepfather, stepmother, stepson, stepdaughter, grandparent, grandchild, great grandchild, step grandparent, step great grandparent, step grandchild, or step great grandchild; any person who is engaged to be married to the member or employee or who otherwise holds himself or herself out as or is generally known as the person whom the member or employee intends to marry or with whom the member or employee intends to form a household; or any other natural person having the same legal residence as the member or employee.
http://www.myfloridahouse.gov/Sections/HouseNews/preview.aspx?PressRelea...
I think it depends on the circumstances. I doubt you will find a black and white answer that will resolve this to either your or his 100% satisfaction.
♥ ANNE 8102 ♥
http://stepdom.blogspot.com
Yes, they are considered family even though not blood.....
Tell him to look at things this way....if he was adopted he would not be blood related, but by law, he now becomes "their" family when the adoption is final.
So when you marry his dad, your family becomes his family as well.
Agree with Anne
I think they are considered relatives, but in the eyes of the law only immediate (stepmom, stepdad, stepsiblings) are recognized. Like Anne said, it would depend on the situation and jurisdiction.
If all parents, stepparents, grandparents, and other blood relatives (aunts & uncles) did not exist and they needed to decide on a guardian, I think THEN they would look at the step-relatives and the past relationship with the child. A very sticky situation.
Again, I agree with Anne, call it a tie and keep it moving.
My new StepMother's Motto:
When life gives you lemons... Make a damn good Margarita.
Thank you all for the honest back up of opnions !!
Ok.. Good news.. he says I won the battle thanks to all of your guys input
I said I was right for once(lol)..sware..he needs to be a dang politicion. I pulled up that site that Anne8102 left and read it outloud to him, He smiled and was laughing, Then confessed that he just likes to get me going because its funny!
I told him " Pick a new topic" and we can go at it agin(lol).
he is 16 and swears he was born with the book of law in his hand
Thanks everyone for your honest back up
" Life is like a jar or Jalapeno peppers, what you
do today could burn your a*s tomorrow."
Tell him he can look at it
Tell him he can look at it this way, If his mother has a brother by blood and gets married, does that make her his Aunt? She is not blood to him but is only married to his Uncle who is.
Also let him read this...
The more people who love you the better. There are heart ties in families, not just blood ties. Don't cut off your nose to spite your face! I know a few 'stepkids' who haven't accepted their stepmom or stepdad's family, when if accepted, that family would have given WAY more financially and emotionally that any of their blood relatives, including their parents!
What do you think of B.M NEVER calling for son?
Yeah, thats all very true!
I explained to him that you could never have to many people love you,
But I kinda think it stems from B.M always spliting hairs about everyone and anything when it does not suit her.
I was hopeing sice S.S moved in with us( out of 5 kids) that eventually he would see that differently, as the other kids are stuck up their mom rear to put it nicely.
I give him props as far as moving in with us because they all turned on him calling him a traitor and all that good stuff, really pissed me off, but me and his father can do alot more for him and plus they have like 9 people living at his moms in a 3 bedroom trailor, really no room for S.S
He likes it over here with my son as he gets to do alot and has his own personal space ya know.
Its not like being crammed into can like a bunch of sardenes.
He has only been with us for like 5 months but me and his father been together like 3 years, its been a rough a rugged road with B.M and S.K, well a nightmare to tell you the truth til he FINALLY got the money up to start divorce, and even in the of start that they all were swaying their necks around like he did a awful thing, now we hear from no one including B.M who is out to prove some point to S.S here by not calling him but once since he has been here,And mind you she lives in the same town as us.
He has been happy and fine, infact he does not even really talk about her at all to his father or me.
I think about that cause if it was my son he would be turning his phone off cause I miss him when he stays at a friends just for 2 nights, I constantly call to check on him no matter where he is or where he is at.
What do you think about her not having anything to do with him?
She has only left a message maybe twice saying I want to see him, I dont get it!
And when B.F has paid C.P every now then she'll mention him telling B.F to have him call( she has said that like 3 times), why dont she call so the kid can see she cares ya know? why have to relaye a message..call your fricken kid yourself and be a mom.S.S has talked to her 2 times and told her .." You have a phone you can call just as well",
Then she trys to get him to come out by having someone manipulate him into feeling bad and always says " yeah I'll go", then when its time he puts it off by saying " next week i'll go", then next week comes ans he never goes and just blows it off!
It does not matter to me rather he goes or not because I know what he has to deal with. He mentioned one time that she trys to keep him in the bedroom for like 3 to 4 hours just talking and cring and tring to pressure him with guilt,after that night he has never went back since.
What do you guys think>
" Life is like a jar or Jalapeno peppers, what you
do today could burn your a*s tomorrow."
I had this conversation with DH
When SD moved in with us, I automatically assumed my family was now her family. I was vastly incorrect. Although my family started by "being there" for her - coming to the baby shower, my folks drove 18 hours to be around to help with the newborn, sending the little one welcome presents - she has decided she will not participate with any of my family.
I asked my DH what was up. He said it was her choice to accept my family or not. Oh well. She doesn't know what she has lost yet. She may never know, if she is lucky. So, no, whether legally or not I guess I have been informed that my family is NOT her family.
I believe LEGALLY that STEP
I believe LEGALLY that STEP aunts and uncles have no rights, however personally yes that certainlly makes them family, and relatives because of the nature of things (such as opinions stated above, marriage of other relatives and adoption and such). And I agree 100% who cares as long as you have more people to love you... unless you want no involvement, which is probably ok too, although not feasible for a child who lives with you
~Light travels faster than sound, that's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak!~