No. Don't bring it up. Whatever ANYONE gets from an inheritance is a gift - not something asked for or discussed prior. I don't plan on inheriting anything from anyone when they pass, I plan on being incredibly sad that they've gone and that's about it. If I get something, that's nice, but it's not something I would ever bring up or count on. 

So, if you think that SM isn't "uncle's family", why would your mom be considered family and therefore entitled to some of his money? Because your mom gave birth to you and your siblings?

Also. Once your father recieves an inheritance the money is HIS. Not "the family's money" and he is free to do with it what HE chooses. It is not to be decided by some backroom meetings between people that are not the rightful own of such money.

I'm not trying to be rude, but you seem to be implying that your father and SM are "greedy" when infact you are coming off as such. 

I would not bring it up.  You are not entitled to any inheritance.  Unless your uncle puts stipulations on the inheritance, it is your fsther's to do with what he pleases.  If you're lucky he'll live a long happy life and enjoy his inheritance. If he leaves something to you, that's a bonus. But you shouldn't count on it and, unless you want to sour your relationship with him, you won't mention it. It really is none of your business, and if your father hasn't mentioned it to you, he likely does not wish to discuss it.

Why are you strategizing about how to gain part of any inheritance that is given to someone other than yourself?

Also, are you here assuming all step parents are gold-digging, scheming b*tches who can provide a wealth of gold-digging strategies to try out on your relative? 

I’m confused why your mom should receive an inheritance? How is she family? His wife is his family and you and your siblings are his family.... I would actually even go so far as to say that she is more his family than you are as he lives with her, she takes care of him while he is sick, etc. 

You also don’t know what she has contributed, and also if she were to pass on first you and your siblings would be getting some of her money. Life insurance policies, money she has inherited along the way etc.

You are concerned with her actions, it sounds more like the concern is with your actions. You don’t sound upset about father passing, and more concerned ankle how his money is divided up. 

Inheritance is a gift, and honestly if he wanted to donate all of it even that is his choice. I am certain he will take care of those who have taken care of him fairly weighted.

With others here, I am sorry, but it really is none of your business or your right to claim this inheritance.  You feel your children and mom are more entitled to  it than your father’s wife of 20 years? I sure feel bad for your stepmom.... I am sure this isn’t the first time the “family” has been scheming about her behind the scenes.  There is probably a reason your dad hasn’t told you about it.

So you just thought you'd swing by a stepparent venting site and ask for advice/opinions on cutting out the SM from your father's inheritance and give it to Dad's ex wife instead?

Would you like to know why your father has never mentioned this possible inheritance? Because it is none of your business. Nor is it "family money" . This is your father's uncle's life savings to do with what wants. It is very generous for the uncle to consider leaving a will naming his nieces and nephew, but the gentleman is under no obligation to do so. He is totally free to instead name a favorite charity.

The same will be when the time comes your father draws up his own will. Your father will be under no obligation to leave you or any of your siblings anything. 

If the sister is so worried about your mother and any hardships your mother may have. the sister is free to share any or all parts of whatever her share of any inheritance shall be. 

It is his money to do with as he wishes. NO ONE is entitled to HIS money. If he decides to leave it to charity, donate it to a nunnery, or spend it on energy drinks and horse races, that is his choice.

It is extraordinarily selfish to expect a family member to leave you money. Consider living within your means instead of waiting for someone to DIE so you can cash in. 

The vultures are circulating and the body isn't even cold yet, but you certainly are! How grotesque! I wouldn't be surprised if your step mom gets everything from your father since she has been his partner for 20 years and probably supports him  lot more than his selfish and self-absorbed daughter. He must ask himself where he failed as a parent frequently. I'm glad he has his wife to love him, otherwise he would be spending his later years alone...unless of course you needed something. How sad!

What should you do??

Wow. How can you be so coldhearted?? Seek therapy to find out why you care more about the allmighty buck than someone dying. This makes me feel sick.

So rude.

You are going to ask dying people to will you and your mom some money? You can’t be serious. 

Um...gross. This is the most disgusting thing I've read in months. You should definitely contact that therapist...

I'm with the others - Mom deserves some money because she "knew Uncle better", but Dad's wife of 20 years deserves a pittance?  Sorry - you have no control over what your father does with his share of the inheritance.  Here's to hoping he leaves it all to his current wife of 20 years, who then leaves anything left when she dies to the local animal shelter and cuts you out entirely.

You sound like the type of skid everyone on here complains about.

No legitimate person can be so obtuse to post such a thing on a Stepparent site without KNOWING they will create controversy and outrage.  

I suggest we deep-six these kinds of posts and not bother replying.  Spend your time on legitimate people who really come here for support and advice. 

SM isn't family?!?!?!?! You people got rocks in your hearts?????? Jeez.

Hey then those kids aren't true family either cuz the BLOOD family married outsiders. 

You people are inhuman. I feel damn sorry for that man living among such meanness and greed. Ain't even dead yet and you fighting over his money and how to cut out his wife. I'm gonna pray like crazy he leave it all to his WIFE OF 20 YEARS, cut all you heartless "people" out, and she never speaks to you all ever again. FTS

I can’t help but wonder if stepmom suffered while dad paid out child support and was broke after the divorce....  

I actually make more $ than DH, and hve much more in the way of assets— reading this actually makes me want to cut DH out of my will so to make sure my stepkids never get a cent of my money to give their mom.

What is wrong with you.

The answer is simple. Leave your uncle alone. Look up "undue influence".   It's WRONG and it could also cause the will to be challenged.  Then it could get really complicated.  Does the uncle  have living brothers and sisters? If so, they could be first in line,  not his nieces and nephews.  If he doesn't, any nieces and nephews that were left out or did not get a similar share could also challenge the will. 

Assuming your father does inherit some money from his uncle, he can do with it as he sees fit.

My parents are divorced too and they both remarried. None of my siblings nor I would ever, ever try to influence them in their estate planning. Neither would my or my husband's kids. If they did we probably leave all our money to a cat shelter.

Your Great Uncle is dying and your father and your aunts are due to inherit but you want your mother to get some of the money so she'll give it to you for your children's tuition? You've also colluded with an aunt who thinks this is a good idea.

Let me guess, you think your SM is a gold digger?  

I find it interesting that because your father has never mentioned this expected inheritance to you, you automatically think that your SM is working behind the scenes.

Could it be possible that your father is an intelligent man who understands that this money is not yet his and in fact may never be his? His uncle could decide to leave it all to charity. He could have spent it all. He could have made one bad investment and lost it all. None of you know his finaces, you are all speculating.

My point is that this money isn't your fathers and may never be his, yet you are already spending it like it's yours.

"College tuition has gotten so expensive and this would help with his grandchildren’s (part of his uncle’s family) tuition when that time comes."

Lots of people have already said this but your mother is no longer your fathers family. Your SM is legaly and morally his family. She is also family to his uncle, that's what happens when you get married. You become family.

It makes no difference that your mother knew the uncle better than your SM. IF the uncle wanted your mother to have an inheritance from him, He would write her into his will. Your mother having no one to take care of her is not your fathers problem. That is why they are divorced, they didn't want to be with each other any more, they didn't want to be responsible for each other. 

Since you asked for advice, this is my advice.

Do not speak to your father about this or any inheritance. If he decides to leave you or your children any money, be grateful and thankful. Talking to him about his money and who you think should get it is a good way to get yourself written out of a will!

My MIL can’t get over the fact that her father had the nerve to take care of her SM (married to him for 25 years), instead of just giving all of his money to her (MIL) upon his death. She doesn’t even know if any money was left over (her father had been in a nursing home for several years), but since said money supposedly was from her father and mother, clearly the SM had no right to it.

She has already told DH - in front of me - that he should make his brother the executor of his will to “ensure SSs get what’s coming to them.” Too bad BM already spent the inheritance DH got from his grandmother. There was no concern then that this “family money” should stay with SSs.

If there was even a whif of money coming to DH, MIL, BM, and SSs would be conspiring to “keep it in the family” and away from me. 

This OP should wonder why they are so concerned about money and less concerned about people. They are already planning for their dad’s death and assuming he will not spend any money on his own - as is his right. 

I like how current wife isn’t family and shouldn’t inherit from spouses family but ex wife is family and should inherit from her ex family. Also ex wife should inherit because she isn’t remarried. Like dying uncle has to worry that his nephews ex wife didn’t remarry so he has to will her his money. That’s too funny 

I have some sympathy. My grandmother left my dad a lot of money and then he and SM blew through it and she divorced him basically after she'd run through his assets just so she could take half his retirement in a lump sum. And they STILL LIVE TOGETHER. I know very well that my grandmother did not intend for me and my brother to have nothing and for SM to take assets for her children. Just as there's no reason for SM's assets to come to me or my brother - they should go to her kids. 

But here's the thing. Once he received that money it was HIS money to do as he wished. It's gone. And that's that. 

I am going to do things differently with my SO - family money (he will be getting some, I won't be or not much) will be passed to his blood children - but not in full - we shall enjoy some of those assets with travel, etc. All the equity I built up with my ex will go to my son (but it will be tied up in the house), but my SO will have use of the house asset until he no longer needs it (as in death). Anything we accrue together can be divided equally. 

Try minding your own business. It's not "family" money, nor are you entitled to a penny.  it's your dad's money and none of your affair. Your aunt sounds like a real pot stirer.