My SS14
I am sure that everyone has heard this before but, I AM SO SICK OF MY SS!!! I have so many problems with him that I don't know where to begin. He lives in my home with his father & me. My biggest issue today is that he is on academic probation at his $10K a year catholic school that his father pays for. His BM pay for NOTHING!! We are taking her to court as she is still trying to get us to pay HER child support even tho he lives with us & we pay for everything. She won't even send lunch money. Back to his school issues... He is failing algebra, has D's & low C's in everything else. When he comes home from school he plops himself down in the big recliner & watches TV the rest of the day. He has access to tutors at school but won't go. I have tried to help him but he won't participate in studying with me. The high school honor class girls next door have offered to help him, but he refuses. His father just threatens to take away his iPhone or not let him go hunting or fishing if he doesn't improve. Every week when grades come out, his father does nothing. We fight about it & he tells me to just let him handle it because I don't like his kids. I have also been instructed to not correct his kids or say anything to them about anything that they do. Now to clarify. They live in my house that I owned prior to getting involved with this man. The kids control what the a/c is going to be set on upstairs. So I do not participate in paying the electric bill anymore. They refuse to clean up anything. And I am not allowed to say anything. My biggest beef is that we have a daughter together & this is not setting a very good example for her. When she gets in trouble at school, pre-k 4, I punish her from her cartoons. Yesterday DH told SS that he was taking his phone away from him until his grades improved. A few hours later SS was in the recliner texting. I inquired to DH as to why SS still had his phone. BAM, big blow up, I was told it was none of my business. I am to the point that I don't want to look at or hear my SS at all. I refuse to go anywhere with MY husband if he is coming. I am ready to help them pack their bags & go back to where they came from.
Put them out. If dad wants to
Put them out.
If dad wants to continue throwing away HIS 10K, let him. If you're paying, put his butt in public school. He can fail for free.
I kinda agree with
I kinda agree with Foxie...let the skids be idiots all they want..BUT when it comes to disrespecting YOU in YOUR house, that's where I would draw the line. Not acceptable and not going to happen. That is one boundary I hold firm. I am assuming the house is in your name and your name only right? You have every right to make the rules and expect them to be enforced.
I made it clear to my husband that I will NOT be disrespected in my home and he WILL discipline SD if she is ever disrespectful to me or this household. If he doesn't, then I will and he has no clout to complain. If she were to become a problem child (I'm talking bad, drugs, stealing, physical abuse, major disrespect) then she is NOT allowed in this home and he will have to arrange visitation with her elsewhere. If we have kids, I don't want that bad influence on them and nobody deserves to be disrespected in their own home. The ball is in his court he can make sure things don't ever reach that point. Thankfully SD is a good kid and we don't have those issues but I did make it clear from the beginning how strongly I feel on the topic.
There is nothing like feeling like a prisoner in your own home. It sounds disrespectful of your husband to be a dick when you voice concerns in your own home. That's not right.