Leave. Now.

Think about 10 yrs time when your kids have nothing to do with you because you stayed with an abusive family and allowed your sons to be fodder for their step siblings agression.

It is not your job to redirect your stepkids behaviour. This is their parents job, not yours. If you are being physically attacked and disrespected and your kids are attacked all the time by a family of Bullies (because this is what they are)then you need to formulate an exit plan. Save to leave. Do not tell your kids. Find a new place to live and make arrangments. It may take you weeks (hopefully) or months. Rent an apartment and arrange to move out.
When everything is set in stone you tell your DH over dinner when his kids and your kids are not there that you and your sons are moving out. You will not allow your sons to be bullied anymore and you are very disappointed he allows his son to be so aggressive and hit women, namely you and his sisters. You will give him and yourself 5 months to think about your marriage and whether it is worth staying for. If he wants in, ther eis going to have to be some major changes. If he is not interested in making these changes then divorce will happen.

But you need to make it VERY clear to your husband that if he wants to continue to be married to YOU then things need tp permenently change. Although it sounds like he is as much a bully as his kids are. Yes, leave. Walk away. Save your sons self esteem.

Yeah I tried to read that but you lost me about halfway through.

Paragraph breaks are your friend (that's the key on your keyboard that says "enter.") I'm sorry to sound harsh, but if you want to get people's advice, make your post legible.

Leave

If you do not protect your children then who will. It is your place to make sure your kids are not subjected to harm. Leave this situation ASAP.

There is no way I would allow my stepkids to bully my son. But I also would not allow my son to bully my stepkids.

You know what you need to do so do it.

I can't believe after reading all that your concern is "i need some help here casue if i cant figure out a way to help my step children and i make it through this..."

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!!!!!!!!

Your kids are being beat up and sexually abused (which porn is) and you are doing nothing! I hate to break it to you, but if someone in real life knew all this and they report it, you could lose your kids. As a matter of fact, if I knew this was going on with someone I knew, I would report it. Get the f*&% out now and don't look back. YOUR kids are your responsibility. If your husband doesn't have the sense to see what's going on, I wouldn't even bother explaining to him. Just go. NOW.

Where is your husband during all this? What kind of excuses could he possible have to justify his children's behavior in general, let alone, toward his wife.

I can't imagine your pain & frustration. I have a very whiny ss who grates on my nerves & my son's a lot. My son is not a bully but occasionally he has a hard time expressing his frustration w/his step brother & hauls of & hits him. I do not tolerate physical abuse of any kind from any of my children, no matter the reason or if it could be justified by taunting or antagonizing.

My husband & I occasionally get defensive in certain situations when it comes to our children, but we always discuss our differences & try to come to a middle ground.

To me if your husband is allowing his son to abuse his wife, it's no better than him doing the abusing.... Easier said than done, but it sounds like your in a destructive relationship and you needed to get out, but I'm not there & you can only do what you believe is right.

Do what you have to do to protect yourself and your children.

When you got to the part where the kid kicked you and beats up on all the children I had read enough. Time to leave.

Tell hubby that you're not divorcing but doing what you should have done in the beginning. Maintain seperate households and date when possible. Probably it will end in a divorce but this action may save the day. After all the kids are grown you can move back with each other.

Meanwhile try to find a father figure for your boys.

Don't wait until a kid has a broken leg or a ruptered spleen and bleeds to death.

I thought things were bad for me. That is an IMPOSSIBLE situation. Totally unacceptable.

Do you love those skids? Have you tried to have a relationship with each of them? HAH HA. Just joking btw. RUN!

Are your parents in the picture? I know RUN seems like the best answer but if we all think about it, it's really hard to do. I am a mother of 3 and have been married twice so running for me is the last choice I have....

If your parents are involved in your life make plans for your kids to visit them on the weekends. When the SKIDS are over put as much responsibility on their dad as possible. Find reasons to be out of the house most of the weekend with your kids. I know that it may be hard to do but it's easier then picking up and leaving and raising your 3 kids on your own. If no grandparents are around plan sleep overs for them... Get them out of the house. My soon to be SD9 isn't teaching my kids bad things or getting physical with my kids but she is throwing very big fits so I have just told my kids to walk away and act like she isn't there. Eventually they will see people don't want to be around them.

Good luck... keep us posted!

pray...

:O Just go ahead and leave not even with an ultimatum. Your kids and you are being abused physically and mentally when they get a little older there is no telling what else might happen , kids are cruel and do some of the most un imaginable things . I'm going through something similar and I don't want to lose my husband because I'm still very much in love with him after 8 years of marriage . I literally have had everything ive ever worked for and dreamed of taken away from me. These past 8 years have changed me! I became addicted to pain medication i became hateful i became bitter ! I am not an addict anymore its been 3 years . I used to be so happy outgoing fun bubbly and my SS destroyed my Life and it can never be repared! Anyways BM kept SS away from us for almost 3 years said they moved to Ohio but that wasnt true . The past 3 years my husband and I (BD) and our Kids had actually became a real close knit family and we respected one another they have had consistency in their lives everything going picture perfact. I also had just found out In April that I was pregnant ! It wasn't planned but I already have 2 girls and had wanted to try before for a boy but it was un realistic because of the issues we had had to face 3 yrs prior . Well I'm 4 months pregnant with a baby Boy Life was going perfect. Until Last Wednesday we ran right into my husbands Bio daughter it was crazy strange we followed her in the store which lead us to BM come to find out they have lived 30 min away for the past 3 years . My husband was ecstatic to see his Kids his Bio daughter is 10 and the most caring sweetest thing in the world I love her to death but the SS is 9 and has always been very manipulative . He lies , and Whines all the time to get his way , he plays me and my husband against each other , he will hit himself and say I did it (he's been caught doing so) just a lot of other things . The BM said he could only see them if I wasn't there so I went along with it and husband spent whole day and evening wih them ! Friday he calls and wants them for the weekend , he didn't warn me didn't ask me he just totally went behind my back him knowing what ss had put me through before some how he talked bM into letting them stay till Monday . Well Fri and Sat thru the afternoon was good but when I told all four kids no more computer for the day I had some outside activitys planned ss went behind my back and told his dad that I said he wasn't allowed on compt anymore . Then my husband asked me to pick a restraunt to go to so we went to this real nice BBQ rest kinda like chilies we get in there and he tells his dad the smell in the restraunt is making him sick and starts fake gagging and put his shirt over his nose he was Absolutly humiliating us both but BD wouldn't say anything but I told him to stop and start eating. Well when we got home it drew that final line for me he was sitting talking to my little girls and SD telling them how much he hated me and that he just tells his dad that stuff so he will yell at me ! My husband is over protective of him and treats all the other kids differently even his BDaughter it's very clear who his pick is! He bought the new Samsung Galaxy Note and forbid the girls to play on it cuz it had the android game system and they were ready to play ! But Nope the girls have gotten their butts spanked for just picking it up but yesterday he handed it over to his BS HOW UNFAIR IS THAT? I love my husband and I love my SD but I cannot do this any longer. I will not bring another child into this environment . Fussing Fighting Yelling it's not fair to my kids my SD and myself. I mentioned counseling but he thinks his son does no wrong ! Now 3 children will be affected by this just because of a vendictive child who has no rules no consequences no nothing and this may sound extreme but I will not allow my husband have the baby if his BS is there. He has hurt his sisters and no telling what he would do to the new baby and it being he's not the ONLY BOY ANYMORE! Oh I almost forgot the most important part my husband went and bought him a toy which was severel diff little skate boards called Tech Decks well he had them scattered all over the floor and @ bedtime said ss pick everyone of these up cuz someone could step on one and get hurt real bad immediately he said really how? I said cuz of how small they are and they have wheels on them someone could slip and bust their heads . He didn't say anything else and picked up his mess I went upstairs to the bathroom washed face brushed teeth and not 5 min later he came knocking saying he had to pee know we have 3 baths so I came out headed down stairs and fell down 9 stairs somehow a little skateboard got placed on the 2nd to top stair we have hardwoods which made it worse . I know for a fact i am 150% certain that the skateboard was not on that stair when i went up. And he had ran out of bathroom when he heard me thankfully im ok and baby is so far ok but asked him if he went to pee he said yes well he never flushed if he did so i walked up and nothing in the toilet he then said oh yeah i got to the bathroom and it passed i didnt have to pee anymoreTonight they are all staying in a Hotel I am home packing my husbands things I'm not leaving my home and up rooting my children . If your SC are doing thinhgs now IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE ! PROTECT YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN