My effing HUSBAND have his 1 year old IPHONE 4 to HIS KID, after he got his new IPHONE 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:jawdrop:
Yes folks, you read that correctly.....here's where the issues lie:
I have 2 bios 10, 7. He has skid 9. WE ALL LIVE TOGETHER and none of our kids has their other bio DEADBEAT parent in their lives. Skid comes downstairs Sat afternoon and tells me "daddy gave him his old phone".....I told hubby "oh no I don't fuckin think so".....his reply: both of your kids has ipods, now mine does too.........HOLLLLLDDDDD the fuck on............
My 10 yr old made his communion 2 years ago. he took his own communion money and bought one of those little clip on nano's. I got an iphone this year and let my older and younger kid have my FOUR YEAR OLD nano because the new nano my kid bought doesn't hold all the songs that my old one does. So, hubby thinks it's ok to give his kid a 300+ dollar IPHONE with all kinds of apps on it and camera, etc. It doesn't work as a 'phone' anymore, but still, this FAR EXCEEDS what my kids have. I have seriously barely spoken to, NOR SLEPT WITH him since this happened!!!!!!!!!!!
none of our kids take care of their stuff.......ever. so, i'm going to let it go for a few weeks.....then when I find it on the floor.....it's going IN MY PURSE and i'll be driving a few blocks away to the river, parking my car, and TOSSING THE FUCKING THING RIGHT IN!!!!!!!!!!
DO NOT FUCK WITH ME AND MY KIDS, you obviously have NO IDEA what i'm capable of!!!!!!!!!!!!
thoughts, do you think this was fair or unfair????
Well when one of them ask if
Well when one of them ask if you have seen the missing iphone, are you going to deny seeing/disposing it? If word gets out of what happened to it, them kids will be bought a bigger & better toy I fear. Yes I think its unfair that they got the iphone in the first place.
Of course i'm going to DENY,
Of course i'm going to DENY, it won't be the first 'electronic' thing to go missing in my house....we have no extra $ for stuff right now. I am only working part time. I'm buying xmas presents at GOODWILL this year, and used stuff via a facebook online yard sale. no WAY a bigger gift will be bought for any of them!
You're working part time,
You're working part time, with two kids to support, and don't get CS from their "deadbeat dad."
Everything was nice and rosy when YOUR kids had something HIS kids didn't. Now his kid has something nicer, and you're the jealous stepmom who's going to make it "disappear."
How do women like this find a man to put up with them?!?
his kid has a nintendo DS and
his kid has a nintendo DS and my kids don't and i'm not bitching about that one bit. it's about WHEN and WHERE these things were given, don't you see that???? so now his kid has an ipod, same as mine. mine don't have DS's...so should mine have to be given those cuz his kid has one? NO, no they shouldn't. it's all in the timing, and if you think my job here with these boys isn't a fulltime job, i invite you to spend a week here and then talk to me. there's far more to making a home and family than just being the breadwinner....
No 'battle'....that phone's
No 'battle'....that phone's gonna disappear....i'd love to make money on it, but then it's traceable via the serial number. nope, in the river it's gonna go! trust me, hubby will NEVER know, I love him but he will assume, and probably BLAME one of my kids for losing it.....
Unbelievable. At least your
Unbelievable.
At least your DH treats your kids better than you treat his.
yes, my DH is father of the
yes, my DH is father of the century. His kid was diagnosed with AUTISM at age 3. Him and his parents, where the child lived, IGNORED THE DIAGNOSIS. FOR FIVE YEARS!!! ZERO early intervention...NONE, NADA, a big fat zero! After we started dating, I told him that there is something seriously wrong here and that this child needs an eval and diagnosis. Had the school district evaluate the kid. Then I went to the pediatrician and DEMANDED to know how the HELL she missed this diagnosis. She turned to PAGE ONE of her medical records...the FIRST time she ever saw this kid, she diagnosed him and sent dad away with scripts for phys/occupational/speech therapies, referrals to neurologists, etc. I would venture to guess if someone had wanted to, they could have called Child Protective Services and reported CHILD NEGLECT if not ABUSE.....
This child is, at age 9, equivalent to the physical abilities of a 4 year old. That's some great parenting there.
And you have NO IDEA how he treats my kids, i've never once mentioned that in this thread, so how can you PRESUME that he treats MINE better than I treat his?
I don't like his kid, you are right about that. not a little bit. but, at least I ADVOCATE for his needs...something NOBODY has ever done for him before. The kid can eat with SILVERWARE because I taught him, because at age 5, we went to a restaurant and dad let the kid eat macaroni and cheese with his FINGERS!! The kid can SEE because I mentioned to dad once that skid was always watching TV with his head tilted funny, that maybe he needed glasses. THE KID is a +5 and a +4 respectively in his eyes....BLIND AS A FUCKING BAT...we went to pick up the glasses and I asked the man to teach skid how to use them....the glasses guy was like "this is the first time he's ever getting lenses?" like SHOCKED at how long the kid went on being BLIND....Kid has extreme hyperpronation in his feet/legs. I said to dad, 'look how he drags his feet and wears out the bottoms of shoes? I went to physical therapists and got them to really look at him and they diagnosed him and now, at age 9, he has to wear these big bulky orthotics up his ankles every day. ALL OF THIS SHIT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ADDRESSED BY HIS FATHER, YEARS AGO.........So I do NOT want to hear how BADLY I treat his kid.....Stick a fork in ME now cuz i'm doooonnnneeeee!!!!!!!!!!
dl- While I can appreciate
dl-
While I can appreciate you took this opportunity to go on and on about what an awful PARENT your DH is, that has nothing to do with what I wrote.
I said he treats YOUR kids better than you treat HIS.
How do I know this? Easy. I read your post.
Your one child got an ipod, and you gave your other child your old ipod.
You say not one word about him railing on like an asshole about it and how "unfair" it was that YOUR kids got those. You also fail to mention that they "disappeared" just like the previous electronics you claim to have "disappeared."
Again, I said NOTHING about what type of PARENT your DH is/was. I addressed only the step side of that label.
yes, my DH is father of the
yes, my DH is father of the century. His kid was diagnosed with AUTISM at age 3. Him and his parents, where the child lived, IGNORED THE DIAGNOSIS. FOR FIVE YEARS!!! ZERO early intervention...NONE, NADA, a big fat zero! After we started dating, I told him that there is something seriously wrong here and that this child needs an eval and diagnosis. Had the school district evaluate the kid. Then I went to the pediatrician and DEMANDED to know how the HELL she missed this diagnosis. She turned to PAGE ONE of her medical records...the FIRST time she ever saw this kid, she diagnosed him and sent dad away with scripts for phys/occupational/speech therapies, referrals to neurologists, etc. I would venture to guess if someone had wanted to, they could have called Child Protective Services and reported CHILD NEGLECT if not ABUSE.....
This child is, at age 9, equivalent to the physical abilities of a 4 year old. That's some great parenting there.
And you have NO IDEA how he treats my kids, i've never once mentioned that in this thread, so how can you PRESUME that he treats MINE better than I treat his?
I don't like his kid, you are right about that. not a little bit. but, at least I ADVOCATE for his needs...something NOBODY has ever done for him before. The kid can eat with SILVERWARE because I taught him, because at age 5, we went to a restaurant and dad let the kid eat macaroni and cheese with his FINGERS!! The kid can SEE because I mentioned to dad once that skid was always watching TV with his head tilted funny, that maybe he needed glasses. THE KID is a +5 and a +4 respectively in his eyes....BLIND AS A FUCKING BAT...we went to pick up the glasses and I asked the man to teach skid how to use them....the glasses guy was like "this is the first time he's ever getting lenses?" like SHOCKED at how long the kid went on being BLIND....Kid has extreme hyperpronation in his feet/legs. I said to dad, 'look how he drags his feet and wears out the bottoms of shoes? I went to physical therapists and got them to really look at him and they diagnosed him and now, at age 9, he has to wear these big bulky orthotics up his ankles every day. ALL OF THIS SHIT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ADDRESSED BY HIS FATHER, YEARS AGO.........So I do NOT want to hear how BADLY I treat his kid.....Stick a fork in ME now cuz i'm doooonnnneeeee!!!!!!!!!!
I have a phone. My 10 yr old
I have a phone. My 10 yr old has like a 10 yr old phone that is only taken out of the hosue if he's at sports or a friends and needs to call me for a ride home. It doesn't have any APPS and GAMES and stuff on it. it's for necessity. My kids biodad tried to murder me and is in prison, so he's got no phone to give. skids bio mom is a heroin addict, and left the kid at 2. so there's nothing for him to get there. ONE KID gets a 300 item, 2 other kids, WHO LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSEHOLD GET NOTHING!!!!! How can you NOT see the unfairness here???????
the problem is HE HAS 2 OTHER
the problem is HE HAS 2 OTHER SAME AGE kids LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSE who got NOTHING, that's the problem!!!!!!! :?
Okay, uh, I think you need to
Okay, uh, I think you need to take a step back because Although I don't thik kids should really be on electronics as well, what you would be doing is technically stealing and destruction ofproperty.
If you gave your kids something but not the skid, would you be alright if your husband took your bios things and threw them out because he thought it wasn't fair? I don't think you can justify this. Also, would you buy your kids things and not include the skid? If yes, I'm sorry but that's fair.
His kid, his phone he no longer uses, I tihnk, and please don't take offense to this, you are being a bit irrational about the phone thing.
i'm not offended, no
i'm not offended, no worries....i asked for opinions, and i'm getting them. I gave my kids my old electronic BEFOERE we ever lived together. Every time I buy something for my bios, I buy for skid too, ALWAYS!!! I would never ever ever get them something and not the skid. WE ALL LIVE TOGETHER, WE ARE ALL THE ONLY parents these kids have. Everything has to be 'fair' for all of them.
Gotcha. In this case I think
Gotcha. In this case I think you should speak to your DH about being responsible. And that means being a responsible parent too. Which means showing all the kids what it means to be responsible with their money as well... and sell the phone.
Buy the skid a used nano or ipod or something, since old models go for cheap.
sold it. we need the $$$
sold it. we need the $$$
Let me add one more TIDBIT to
Let me add one more TIDBIT to the mix: my MOTHER had to pay our 1350. RENT this month, cuz hubby FUCKED UP managing his bank account. then he goes and orders a new 400 fucking phone. MY MOTHER is fucking LIVID....i am too, i can't blame her. she knows it's not my fault and i'm just as mad as she is. the phone SHOULD BE SOLD......my husband's parents are ultimately to blame here.....they never made him be responsible for himself, OR THAT KID. he lived with them until he moved in with me a year ago.....
Oh okay. That makes more
Oh okay. That makes more sense. This is not so much about "fairness to the kids" as it is about using the money for greater priorities.
it's about BOTH. total
it's about BOTH. total unfairness to MY kids right in their faces, right in their own home!! if my kids get something, skid does too....ALWAYS. I never buy for them and NOT for him unless I go to a store, like this weekend, I bought my ONE son a pair of SCHOOL SWEATPANTS at target....they did not have any in the sizes of skid and my younger son, so only my oldest got a pair. they are clothes so kids could give 2 shits about that....
Your mother shouldn't be
Your mother shouldn't be "livid." She should have not given him the money. She is enabling his behavior every bit as much as DH's parents do/did.
I kinda see why you are so
I kinda see why you are so upset. Its hard when you have all the kids living together. I have the same situation.
SD16 lives with us, BM is a drug addict loser. DD10 is my daughter, her father lives far away and is a loser. Neither BM or exh pay child support.
My MIL bought all the kids an ipod touch and excluded DD10. It was done on purpose and was very mean. I went out and bought myself one with my money but allowed DD to use it. (this was a couple of yrs ago when I was working so it was my paycheck)
Everyone is still mad about it!! SD was pissed even though MIL got her one.
Then SD has been asking for an ipad. DD's grandmother, father and uncle all chipped in and got DD one. SD is pissed. Is DH going to buy her an ipad? probably!
I had to teach DD years ago that life is not always fair and I have no control over what other people buy for SD or do for SD. DD gets jipped most of the time but she has to deal with it.
Like the day after Christmas, MIL takes SD to the mall and spends about $500 on her even after buying her expensive Christmas gifts. Not fair but I have no control over it. MIL does nothing for DD or BD4.
In your case it was your DH doing the giving. It sucks but its a no win situation. Someone will always be mad or left out. I give up always trying to make everything even. Its impossible!
I am proud of my DD for how she handles these situations. She doesn't get mad or cry. She just accepts it for what it is.
I don't think you should throw it away. Its not the kids fault, its your DH's fault for giving it to him.
I'd tell him that he really
I'd tell him that he really needs to consider what his priorities are, Food, clothing and shelter with SHELTER being the top priority! Rent has to be paid, utilities need to be paid too. It's downright irresponsible of him to spend $400 on a new phone when a cheap go phone would have worked out until you could get back up to date with the rent. If I understand correctly phones can be traded in with some providers, I think he did not consider his options and was blinded by the 'shiny new phone' deal. I hope he learns a lesson!
Selling it because you need
Selling it because you need money, I can see. Being unresponsible about money in general, I can see the seething anger. Having to have your mom pay your rent? That's something to fight about.
Getting pissed because it's unfair that his kid has something yours don't even if they live in the same house? Life is unfair.
Even in households with all biologically related people have their share of "unfairness". My biological brothers got all sorts of shit I didn't. I think I got shit they didn't. Sometimes it was expensive, sometimes it wasn't. Sometimes my steps got more than me, sometimes I got more than them. And Sometimes - None of us got shit.
Perhaps you need to stop taking care of his child too and let him do it.
You said in another post you just got married - sounds like this marriage started off with a lot of anger already in it.
You are a little confusing,
You are a little confusing, because first you are livid at the unfairness and plan to throw the phone in the river; then, you're "really" mad because you need the money and he shoulda sold it... Bits and pieces are coming out, but I don't understand why you didn't decide from point A that you would get the phone and sell it because you need the money. Really your anger is that your dh is irresponsible, and THAT'S what you need to address. Calm down about the fairness aspect because that's just going to breed more anger on both sides and not get your point across about the money situation.
I am livid about the money
I am livid about the money situation as well, you are correct. My husband spent the rent money, but ordered the Iphone 5 for himself! Really? He already had an iphone, the HORRORS, it's over a year old!! BUT, he still should never have given the old one to HIS kid in front of my kids. His phone just came on Saturday, and he gave his kid the old phone on Sunday, before ANY discussion with me about what should be done with it.
I am livid about the money
I am livid about the money situation as well, you are correct. My husband spent the rent money, but ordered the Iphone 5 for himself! Really? He already had an iphone, the HORRORS, it's over a year old!! BUT, he still should never have given the old one to HIS kid in front of my kids. His phone just came on Saturday, and he gave his kid the old phone on Sunday, before ANY discussion with me about what should be done with it.
I wonder if there is more to
I wonder if there is more to this than what you have posted, because based on your post alone I think you have overreacted big time.