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hello fellow steppers

sterlingsilver's picture

Submitted by sterlingsilver on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 11:44am

I am fairly new, tho I have read a lot of your entries. It seems I see a bit of me and my situation in many of your blended family lives. I am currently living with SO and his 2 kids. I lost custody of my 3 teens due to a very bipolar and psychotic freaky exH*l#. I get them for visits every other weekend tho but pay child support. My life is finally settling down after the very heart wrenching divorce and seperation from my children. I went through major displacement issues and had a lot of counceling and my SO is amazingly supportive. My heart still aches when I think about my life BD (before divorce). I was a sahm and loved raising my children. It was all taken away in one nano second and it hurt the kids and me so much. My ex is evil and only thinks of #1 and not of the kids. He continues to this day to try to hurt me by using the kids. He is so up and down in his bipolar that there are days I even worry about the safety of my children in his care. They are older now so it's getting less worrisome for me. I HATE what happened but now that I am out of his web I am happier and pray that one day my kids will stand for themselves so they can be happier too. I am happy to have found this group. You all sound fabulous! Smile Best to all.

Comments

stolly's picture

Submitted by stolly on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 12:06pm

You have been through so much and im happy things are improving for you, you are a good mum who has stood by her children even from afar, not many people do that.
One day your children will understand and you will be able to have a relationship with them and without your ex so things are always going to get better.

I wish you a happy future x

newmom01's picture

Submitted by newmom01 on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 12:24pm

Just a question? I thought it took ALOT to get kids taken away from the mother....It cant just be rumors, they have to have PROOF of drugs, abusive, or dangerous lifestyle.

And if this is not the case for you please share your experiance, so that we will know what to look out for. How is it possible to have your kids taken away if you did nothing wrong

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 12:32pm

Actually, it does take alot...but if you have a crazy ex, who has planned it all, the do it too. My sisters's ahole ex-husband had alienated 2 of her kids little by little...he is a chauvinistic freak...sigh...

sterlingsilver's picture

Submitted by sterlingsilver on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 8:36pm

Yes, there is a story. After years of abuse, I lashed out, he called the cops, I went to jail, he placed a restraining order against me, I lost the house and kids in a temp court order and he got custody of the kids and got to stay in the house. He made me out to be a mentally unstable person in court. Everything I said he rebutted that they were lies. It was a nightmare. I did all the classes and jumped all the hoops for my attorney and the GAL, and still lost it all. I had been a sahm for many years and had no skills/training so my job is low pay and the classes cost alot of money, so I moved in with SO to survive and even that was torn apart in court, that my living situation was not good for the kids. OMG, the lies and accusations were so awful and so false. He still to this day writes me very nasty emails and stalks me on-line. In fact I have had to change my online indentity twice now. Once he left a rose on my car seat, he reads my online business, he constantly reads the courts records and today he emailed me laughing that my SO had gotten a seatbelt ticket. He could only know that if he's continually looking at court stuff. Yes my SO got the ticket but it's creepy when he always watching us. He might even be reading this but this is the first day of this new identity so until he leaks info to me about what I am writing I should be fine. I just feel so SAD. So much like a deer in the headlights of the abusive ex. I ache for my kids.