You are here

I'm new to this, and at the end off my rope...

Nella's picture

I'm a 30 year old female, and married to a 32 year old woman with 2 kids... The eldest son is 14 years old, and will absolutly do anything I ask of him, however the "baby" is 4 years old, and has serious discipline problems... The reason? EX HUBBY!!!

He is an alcoholic, preys on young girls (or anything that is remotely female), and abused both my wife and the eldest son, physically & mentally. He tells the youngest that my wife is a "sL*t" & a "wh*re", that I am a "b!tch", and the kids doesn't have to do anything we say...

Thus, everytime I tell the "baby" to do something, I get the whole "I don't havta do anything, coz my DADA said so", or we throw tantrums, and scream & cry when we don't get our way.

Both my wife and I are at our wits end. We have tried being strict, nice, everything in between, we have tried bribing him, threatening him with the "boogeyman"... Nothing. We cannot seem to find that middle ground... One minute he screams that he doesn't want to be with us, and the next minute, he wants us to come play with him.

Can someone please help me?

Nella's picture

The kids only visit DADA when he has money, and isn't pouring it away thru his throat... But he does go and see the "baby" at the day-mom's house during the day... Imagine the fun we have in the afternoon driving home after such a visit...

Nella's picture

The authorities have no idea, I mean he has never been caught DUI, my wife never went to lay charges against him for the physical abuse, 'coz he said he would kill the kids. And the young girls that he tries his luck with (the youngest being 12 years old) never said anything, coz they are afraid of him...

jojo68's picture

SOunds like DADA has put a lot of crazy ideas in the kids' heads. It is hard to "erase" what people say but maybe try and explain to them that they live in two homes now and they are different situations with different rules but the one thing that remains the same is that they are loved in both. Even though by what you have said...the father doesn't deserve that respect, none the less it is very hard on kids to hear one parent bad mouth the other. That guy needs to be in jail anyway. Hang in there, DADA will mess up and get caught eventually.