How do I get his kids to forgive me?
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My boyfriends kids do not want their dad with me. His ex started with me on FB and nasty things were said. It was in private between her and I but she showed it to her kids. 16, 14, 10.
We dated for 4 months and I met his kids twice but also did many things for them. They refuse to have anything to do with me even after their dad pleaded with them to give me another chance. He moved out of my home and said his children come first, therefore he cannot be with me if his kids don't like me. I have apologized numerous times to his ex and kids. I am devastated and cannot get over this. Please...any advice on what to do?
100% agree with the above
100% agree with the above poster. The "kids" scored a major victory today, or so they think. Things will go downhill from there for Daddy with or without you. Be glad it's over, you saved yourself from a lot of heart ache.
At four months you really
At four months you really shouldn't have even met the kids-and much less the ex-and much less interact with said ex on FB. And probably a bad idea to have had him move in with you so quickly as well. He's doing you a favor really-I agree.
Sometimes life hands us lessons so we know better for next time. NOTHING good comes out of rushings things.
Then good riddance. I know
Then good riddance. I know that is hard to say but you do not need someone who is going to break your heart over this. Move on with your life and chalk it up to experience. I know that if my husband and I ever split up, I will remain single until my kids are grown.
I am sorry you a heart broken but remember it will not last forever. You apologized now it is up to them. BM knew what she was doing when she showed the messages to her kids.
Heather Laney
Not to mention that if that
Not to mention that if that crazy woman showed something like that to her children, imagine what else she would do to cause problems in your relationship. Run away.
Why bother? You can never be
Why bother? You can never be the priority in this guys life so why would you want to marry him?
Move on to a man with either no children or one with sack enough to put you before his XW and kids.
In any family including a blended family the relationship between husband and wife is the priority. Kids/Skids are beneficiaries to the marriage they are not a party to it.
If you decide to get involved with a dad in the future ..... let your experience this time be a lesson. Let BM rant and put crap in writing. If you ever tell her off do it face to face and not in writing.
Your situation is upsetting, I understand that. But, fortunately you are not heavily invested in either him or his children.
Not long after I married my wife she and I agreed that I would be an equity parent to our son (my SS) with she and BioDad. BioDad was never told this and would never would have agreed to it if we had told him...... tough shit. He has had to suck it up and do what my wife and I told him to do or suffer the consequences in court.
Even in a situation where a spouse is the NCP, when the kid is in your home you have to be an equity parent or the marriage and the relationship with the kid will be plagued with associated issues.
We also agreed that the primary focus would be our marriage.
I know of no other way for a marriage to be successful or for children to be raised to viable adulthood than with the parents in the home, all homes that that child resides in, as equity spousal and parenting partners.
This community is full of many blended family struggles where one spouse or the other is not an equal partner in the marriage and is relegated to second class status because they are not an equity parent.
All IMHO of course.
Good luck and best regards,