Hi - I love my boyfriend very very much, but I am trying to figure out if I can even be a step-parent to my boyfriend's son. He is a 10, almost 11 year old boy and acts like he is 4. He is heavily into bb-guns and video games and refuses to play any sports. He doesn't like going outside except to shoot his bb gun (when he is not shooting it inside). He talks incessantly, interrupting and eats like he is still in a high chair. He plays with his food, throws it and generally acts like the little brother on "A Christmas Story." My boyfriend and I are not allowed to have any private time because the boy wants my attention or his father's constantly, even interrupting when we were having a serious talk following my mother's death earlier this summer (He was told we had some serious things to talk about and would be in the other room). I don't think it is an attempt to separate us - he just seems clueless and ill-mannered.

I have 2 dogs of my own and he wants to know which one he can have so he can horseplay and get the dogs to be rough with him. I don't believe in that kind of behaviour with animals because it is cruel and dangerous. I told him he cannot "have" one of my dogs (one is blind and elderly and belonged to my parents before their deaths and the other is young, but definitely "mine"). The fact that he wants to horseplay "rough" with any animal makes me concerned.

My brother is 17 and resides with ,me now that both of our parents have passed (our dad 7 years ago and our mom just 2 months ago) and when he first met the child, the boy shot my brother at point-blank range with a bb gun (that looked like an AK-47) in the house (my brother was shot in the arm as he was shielding his eyes and asking the child to put the gun down). I told my boyfriend my concern over the issue and he said it was "handled" and wouldn't elaborate. He then went on to say how he didn't know we were afraid of guns. I come from Texas and my dad and grandfather were former military - I am far from shy about guns, but what I was always taught was responsibility regarding guns (i.e. you NEVER use it in the house, you NEVER point it at ppl, you NEVER shoot ppl - common sense stuff!). My boyfriend said that it was handled and that the subject was closed. I don't trust this child. He seems off a bit. He has no friends other than a 6 year old and he is completely inactive and obsessed with weapons and can't wait to shoot his new .22 caliber rifle.

My brother and most of my guy friends growing up and all of my brothers friends were normal kids, participating in sports and doing normal kid stuff. This kid isn't into any of it and it seems odd to me. My boyfriend treats him like he is a baby when he is almost 11. His behaviours would never have been allowed in my household when I was growing up.

I really don't know if I can handle this child every weekend until he is 18 (god, I wish my boyfriend had every other weekend visitations). The child concerns me greatly and I just can't stand being around him. I try to even avoid hearing his name because the thought of him and his actions/attitudes makes me ill. I normally work well with children, volunteering in churches and schools for years, but this child just strikes me strange. I just have a weird feeling about him. I don't trust him and I am almost scared of what he will become when he is older. I have expressed my concern to my boyfriend, but he assures me the child is ok and that I just don't know him. I pray I am wrong.

Any advice from anyone?