I am 33 and engaged to a man I love dearly, I am also pregnant with our daughter. I have a 5 yr old daughter from a previous relationship and he has two children (11 and 9) from a previous marriage. I have done everything I can to include the children and I have done it slowly on their time. Unfortunately, my fiancee and I argue about how to parent the children and he has now accused me of being jealous of his 9 year old daughter. I am very hurt. I try very hard not to be the step-mother mine was.
We had an argument over the kids making decisions and sticking to them and I made the mistake of giving my opinion. I have made this mistake in the past when on vacation his daughter likes to sleep with him and I thought that wasn't appropriate. I told him as much and again I was blasted for being selfish. He then states that there are "things I do with my daughter that he will not permit with our daughter" When I asked what it was he told me he didn't want to discuss it. This is the second time he has said that and always during an argument.
When I pushed the topic he says there are alot of, "things I do that he doesn't agree with" but then he has always told me that I am a good mother. As you can see I am upset to no end, I don't want to speak to him because I don't know what to say.
I am not jealous of his daughter, I don't agree with his idea that little girls should be treated as princesses because I think that's a harsh reality when they get older. I don't want my daughter raised like that. I'm hurt that after everything I have done he accuses me of being jealous and he isn't the easiest person to talk to because he always thinks he's right.
Let me say, both the kids seem to like me and my daughter likes him. The problem isn't them it's us. Help?