Feeling left out
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We just won full custody of my 13 year old step son. My husband is 33 years old and acts like a big kid around him and isn't very responsible. I thought getting full custody of him would bring our family closer together but I just feel left out most of the time. The things they enjoy doing are not things that I like and my Husband doesn't make an effort to include me. He is off all this week because my SS is not in camp and it's the first day of his vacation and they have already done more stuff together than my husband and I do in a weekend! Date nights are gone (have been for a while) and I am sick of being like a mom to both of them.
Have you spoken to him about
Have you spoken to him about it? If not it is time too, I feel a bit left out sometimes too and I say to Bf what about me? Men can be thoughtless, we have to remind them sometimes, all couples need quality time, this needs to change before you start resenting your Ss, So how about thinking through what you want to say and tell him how you really feel?
You sound like you are pretty
You sound like you are pretty early in the relationship. How long have you and SO been together?
Read about disney/guilty dads. Please be careful what you wish for. having a skid live with you full time is not what you think its going to be. Sometimes we think it will get better, it can get worse. Especially with a "friend" dad and not a real parent type of dad.
I remember feeling left out all.the.time.
I got to a point where I started doing my own thing. It sucked watching him interact poorly with the skids anyway so it was less frustrating. Plus, I really didn't realize how much I needed me time and needed to get other things done during the weekends.
Yes, speak up. Not that it
Yes, speak up. Not that it will change him, but you might get the time with him you want. Hopefully LOL
Have you read Stepmonster by
Have you read Stepmonster by Wednesday Martin? It's a really good book that both of you could read. I would try and talk with DH about how you are feeling.
My DH and I have had talks too. He feels if we spend time together with skids we are spending time together. I've been quite direct with him and said I don't agree on your parenting technique and his priorities are screwed up. I love my DH, but I have been working on having a life outside of our relationship and he knows that. Lately he has been attentive.
In general, I think men have difficulty maintaining a relationship. They are goal oriented, so once the pursuing is done they have to look for the next goal and think there is no maintenance needed in what they have already acquired.
Good luck
"In general, I think men have
"In general, I think men have difficulty maintaining a relationship. They are goal oriented, so once the pursuing is done they have to look for the next goal and think there is no maintenance needed in what they have already acquired.
Oh wow... I never thought of it that way. I beg and beg for time with him and he keeps putting me off. I tell him that a relationship takes work and he looks like a deer in headlights.
Wow
:jawdrop:
Yeah, I figured that one out
Yeah, I figured that one out with DH. He is very active in pursuing goals in his business. I think that it's a great asset to have for their work but it sucks for their personal relationships and shit that needs to be done around our house....LOL