SM insearch of advice
Just to make a long story short. I am a SM of a 14 yr old girl, and a BM of 7yr old and a 2yr old. We both have a child from a previous relationship and then one together. My SD is not so nice to my BD has pretty much switched her days here with us to when my BD (7) is gone to her BF for his time so she doesn't have to see my BD anymore. So no family plans because our children aren't here at the same time. No vacations, camping, fishing trips etc because one will always be left out.
She is now posting on her social media about my BD. I do not have her added on any of my social media because her BM made her block me. I do get screen shots from friends and family showing me what she is saying about my 7yr old. I show them to her father and nothing is said about it. I am feeling like he is contributing to her actions by not responding to it. Yesterday, as we were enjoying all the family here for Easter, my SD was leaving as her BM pulled up and just let her dog enjoy my yard while leaving behind his mess and when pulling out she decides to drive THROUGH my yard instead of backing out of the driveway like a normal person would. My BF says nothing. Just lets her do what she wants when she comes to my house. I have had her arrested for trespassing at 3am beating on all my windows and waking my entire house up bc she was messed up on pills. So anyway, I need advice on how to get things straightened out or im done. my BD doesn't deserve to be mistreated and I wont tolerate this anymore.
Have her arrested again and
Have her arrested again and again and again until she gets it. Sue her for damages if you have to.
Even though Echo is right that you can't control what others do, I feel he should have been the one to flip out and call the cops. You can't reason with crazy, but you can punish them so they'll respect boundaries. You can take out a restraining order as well, because, frankly, driving into a backyard is dangerous--what if there are little kids playing there at the time?
I agree that your BD isn't being mistreated because SD is not around. If she were around, and hurting your BD's feelings, that would be a different story.
I'm not sure why you're putting life on hold, like trips and vacations and stuff. Have a system with your BF, either only the bioparent takes the trips with the kid on their days, you guys just take turns--first vacation is when BD is there, second when SD, third when BD, etc.
Or, you can tell them all that you guys would go on a trip to (someplace they all want to go) but sorry, can't because SD and BD aren't here at the same time. Chances are, SD may want to change her days back.