Ever Been Treated Differently BECAUSE You are a SM?
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Have you ever been treated differently or your family treated differently in a social situation because you identified your children are your Stepchildren or that you are a mother but a stepmother? If so, any tips for dealing with it?
At work, my boss understands I love our boys. He has never treated them as anything less than "my family".
However, there are a few of my peers who say "oh but they aren't your real kids so you don't really know what it is like to go through these phases of childhood," or "no I mean haven't you ever wanted real kids?" ...
Most of the time I laugh the ignorance off, but today, the BM had perfect timing and picked a fight with DH, echoing the words of a peer about our family not being "real."
Are you freaking kidding
Are you freaking kidding me?
That is nuts! Why lie about something like that?
Wow, I thought my skids BM
Wow, I thought my skids BM was the only one out their crazy enough to claim to still be married to their ex (my DH) She tells the kids that their still married. Crrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzy!!
We've always had some
We've always had some confusion, as when the skids were little, their coloring was very similar to mine. And as the custodial stepmom, who was told I couldn't have kids, I did simply say, "I have three kids." Honestly, I hate the phrase "step." It belittles the relationship we have, as it is a "step" lower than a real family, or a real mom, or a real son or daughter.
When asked point on, I simply say that we are raising my husband's children from his first marriage.
All school forms and medical forms have info for bio-mom and me. Especially since I am responsible for getting them to school and to appointments and stuff.
When my SS16 was in 2nd grade, the teacher was a real witch about it. She refused to talk to me because I wasn't his biological mother. She didn't allow me to chaperone his field trip. She once even said in front of him that I wasn't his "real mom."
We actually transferred the children to a new school after that.
We never say "step" in our
We never say "step" in our house either. The kids are all "our kids". We always say "your brother"..."your sister".
Words are important. They have power. We have never allowed the word "step" in our home and I honestly believe that it makes a huge difference. My kids don't think of each other as "step-anything"...just my brothers, my sisters... And my husband and I have never differentiated. I refer to my stepkids as my son and my daughter just as I do my bios.
Honestly, most people just assume they are all ours together.
Only in court and by the
Only in court and by the SpermClan. For some reason Family Law Judges are too stupid to understand that family is family regardless if one of the parents in the family is a Step.
I became dad to SS-18 when he was 1yo. We get told we look alike quite frequently (though we look nothing alike). We do have similar mannerisms since I am the only full time dad he has ever had.
No one who counts has ever treated me differently because I am a StepDad.
Best regards,