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DH thinks he can do better

sonja's picture

DH used to always give BM the benefit of the doubt on being a good parent and probably really did think she was doing the best she could. Obviously he would do certain things differently but he still has his own hobbies and likes to do his own thing just as BM does. He isn't all about kids all the time, understandable.

BUT BM did also want full custody and fought him for that, so that might be why DH things she needs to be more focused on being a mom and less focused on herself.

Lately DH is less and less satisfied with how BM is parenting SD.. apparently someone called him to confirm an appointment that he obviously knew nothing about cause they couldn't reach BM. He confirmed with her that she knew of the appointment and was going. Her reply.. UH no, I cant keep taking off work for all these appointments, well have to wait till SDs next school break.

How does that even make sense? I understand not being able to take off work all of the time, but come on.. schedule them on your days off?

DH is always saying how SD needs to just come live with us (lord help me!) so he can take care of the things that need to be taken care of. I laugh my ass off inside, how is he going to take care of all these things?? HA!

hereiam's picture

My husband has said SD22's life would be so different if she had lived with us. Ha!

He is a good dad as far as nurturing and taking care of the day to day stuff but all of the other things like school enrollment, appointments, helping with homework, that would have been on me. And I would not have been willing to do it.

These men are delusional.

Jmom's picture

Delusional indeed. DH used to say this crap then I disengaged and had to start functioning on his own. He shut up in a hurry!

sonja's picture

When she was younger I see how this could have worked, but now at 6 and in school, they live to far away to make joint work.

sonja's picture

Good point, but really BM has days off during the week and DH doesn't. He 'tries' to be involved but its hard when he gets paid hourly and has to give half his check to BM even if he doesn't work.

But really I question if he would be more involved even if we did live closer (theyre an 1hr+ away).

sonja's picture

Shes not a single parent. Her BF is very involved and watches SD for her when she works. Her mom helps out all the time as well as DH's loads of CS pays a lot of her bills.

Shes not an easy person to work with, so I don't need to give him excuses, this whole post is about how I question if he would even do a better job.
He wouldn't have moved away if he had gotten 50/50 like he originally wanted.