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Daddy’s Girl

anonymous1306's picture

Currently going through another rough patch with my partners daughter... her tantrums have got much better as i've told my partner he needed to be harder and more firm instead of telling her off and then giving her a cuddle (defeats the object of telling her off in the first place) but her new thing is if i tell her off (i dont shout, just a firm NO.) is running to daddy and saying 'daddy get her' and crying when there is absolutely no need to cry. It really rubs me up the wrong way as we're a team and the fact she thinks she can play us off against one another at 3 years old! I mentioned this to him that we need to have a united front with the kids. I struggle with it as i've been firm on my 5 year old since day 1. I have never had to really shout at her and especially not hit her or anything like that. His daughter is also 3 and still goes to bed with a BOTTLE of milk, and also has milk throughout the night. He gave her so much milk last night that she threw it all up this morning. And then left me to clean up chunks of milky sick (and i'm petrified of sick - which he knows). He also just put it in the washing machine and didn't bother to actually put a wash on. The washing machine currently said 'end' from a previous cycle so i'm going to play dumb and say i assumed he had done it and it had finished. My daughter is currently at her nans as i have work so the petty part of me is leave it and let him clean it up tomorrow when we have his daughter again for the weekend! To leave it for me to clean knowing i really don't like sick, is just awful Sad

tog redux's picture

Well, she can only play you off of each other if he allows it.  I'd stop parenting her entirely and let him deal with it.  He can deal with the vomit and with all the cavities she's going to have from going to bed with a bottle of milk. 

ESMOD's picture

Thank you for your comment! 

Submitted by anonymous1306 on Sun, 10/13/2019 - 9:34am

Thank you for your comment! I can just see exactly what the future holds if he doesn't nip it in the bud! I've only stuck around in the hope she 'grows out of it' and if someone could see the future and told me this is how it's gonna be; i'd have left ages ago!

He has not and will not nip anything in the bud.  He is not a good father.. and he has you there to pick up his considerable slack.  You know what you have with him.. he expects you to be the 'mommy" of the house.. and clean up and raise kids.  It's your choice to accept that or walk away... they really are your only two choices.. he will not magically become the man you need him to be.


SteppedOut's picture

100% this

Learn to live it or leave it. 

My vote goes to leave it. 

Rags's picture

Do not clean his kid's puke.  Leaving it for you is manipulative bulkshit.  Let him deal with several days of fermented kid puke when he discovers it.


anonymous1306's picture

I would have left it if it wasn't my daughters bedroom too - the thought of her having to smell milky puke when she comes home just doesn't sit right with me Sad so unfortunately leaving the bedroom with sick in it wasn't an option. 

Rags's picture

Bag up the nasty stuff and put it in SOs closet.  Clean the room for your daughter.

I'm gagging just thinking about it.

hermoniegee's picture

Wow..the child is only 3 and so manipulative. Blame poor parenting,I imagine.But reading your comment that you are housing BF

and he refuses to parent the kid sounds like he's using you.Sorry  if that is the case.