I am NOT marriIed to my SO yet. We do live together and it is "ME" to pretty much takes care of his children (plus mine.) I have had ALOT of problems this his three girls. It's very much different with my own biokids. My biokids are not perfect but they do get punished and there are rules for them to follow. However my SO's kids are a few years older and they have no discipline and if my SO tries they throw the biggest temper tantrum (and we are talking about cursing, yelling, and etc.) I can't punish his children. I bring things up and he "agrees" and says he will work on the issues but he doesn't.

With that being said...with the lack of discipline and "HELP" of taking care of his own kids, I have alot of resentment towards his children. I have always bit my tongue when it came to talking to them and I have ALWAYS been nice and have never said anything negative to them. These children are so mean and nasty to their father and yet he jumps to their beck and call every single time. They only live a half mile from us and the eldest who is 14 won't come over but texts when she needs a ride or money for something. His kids are cruel to me and my own children but we all take it.

I guess my question is (sorry for the length is) before I actually marry this man, would you suggest myself or even including my SO in counseling? I really do have alot of resentment and my SO doesn't understand why.

Has anyone tried individual or even couples therapy? Before I marry this man we BOTH have to be on board with parenting and I will not waste my time if it's going to be one sided and he just take up for them and make excuses for them.

Thanks