Just wondering...
I'm just curious to see what other's people thought was on this.
In a nutshell, SO and I broke up. I moved back to my house. I've blogged posted enough about all the crazy crap his daughters and BM have done. Anyway, bottom line his children REFUSE to visit him. They haven't in sometime. He has called and text. Usually they just send him to voicemail, or ignore his texts. If they do answer they say "they are never coming back." Now, BM totally doesn't force them to see their dad even though she lives a half mile away. She has made NUMEROUS comments how nothing would make her happy then exSO to walkaway from his kids (but yet she wants childsupport though.)
My question is...do you or would you force these kids to see him? BTW..there has never been any type of abuse. He has set ground rules and they just don't want any rules. That is just how they are. Can you even force them or would you? Do you just say "screw it" and walk away? If they are still refusing to come over, do you still do something for them for their birthday and other holidays?
JUST CURIOUS to what others thought....
In NYS the BM can monkey
In NYS the BM can monkey with, or refuse visitation with little or no penalty, however CS MUST continue to roll.
THere is no faster ticket to jail than to not pay CS in this state. Murder and Rape included.
Depends on your locality. If you live in a miltantly pro BM state like NY, CA or MA the BM can do whatever the hell she pleases and continue to get or even get MORE CS.
I agree with Stefanie. If
I agree with Stefanie. If they're not 18, they don't have a choice in coming over and BM can and should be punished for it.
My Df has the attitude that
My Df has the attitude that "they have their own lives". So I only have to deal with the adult skids a few times a year. I dread everytime their names are even mentioned. For bdays and xmas he sends cards, but thats it. Unless they want to do dinner and then we all go out. Grandskids get presents and cards thus far.
We have no issues with skids being under 18, but as far as I know the parentling plan made in court should be followed.
That's every SM's dream,
That's every SM's dream, having SKids that don't want to visit their dad... Makes everyone's lives so much easier.
Yes but at some point, biodad
Yes but at some point, biodad starts pining over his "little angels" and then puts the blame on SM for "not seeing his family."
Been there, done that, about to burn the tshirt.
At first godsgift let them do as they please EVERY weekend at our house so the Behemoth could date at will.
TOTAL disney dad which put us into financial ruin. Basically all my money was spent before it was received on elaborate toys, ATVs for the skids.
Then when the skids turned on him after he started instituting a few rules (he knew it wasn't working and I also told him this; guess who gets the blame on this one?) Lied to CPS, got a false report made and run up the flagpole (the BEhemoth works for CPS in her county) Then more rules came down and the oldest two stop visitation (at the time SD9 1/2 and SS 11 1/2)
Then it was just Prince Hygiene (SS now eight) He was the most manipulative of them all. Two more years and PH showed his true colours. GG liked to think that PH was "different" than the older two. Yeah right. It's been a year and a half since PH has set foot in our house and almost 3 yrs since the older two have (Brainiac SS14, Venus De Milo SD12) The Behemoth does not make them come as they never had a set schedule (DUMB!!) But she sends "letters from the skids" (yeah right) so that she can get her non-parental status babysitting services re-initiated. (read: she wants to dump off the skids on GG and me but yet we have no authority to set rules or discipline)
He's been pining after them about 3 mos after the last visit from PH and now he's blaming ME for it all. He will soon reunite with them at MY house and it will be back to square one with the disrespect, the stealing the lying as they are older, wiser and more manipulative. I will take a back seat; hopefully get a p/t job while they are around and advise AWesomeson (my bioson) to lock up his valuables.
I will tell you this having
I will tell you this having been there. Our BM has custody of SD14. We gave up, we couldn't win in court once the kid decided she didn't want to live with us. BM has no rules and we did. DH has seen her twice in a year and they live less than a subdivision away. Nothing we could do after spending 10K in lawyers. He has had to try and let her go. It is this wall between us that will never go away. If I could undo this marriage I would. It may not be my fault, but he will always know that he had a relationship with her until I moved in. Doesn't matter that she was a spoiled brat long before that, I just didn't put up with it the way everyone else did. It will always be there.
You know what is really
You know what is really weird...Is that I don't think it phases him anymore. Don't get me wrong, he still attempts to communicate with them every single day but NOTTA. I have asked him NUMEROUS times if this bothers him and he says "it did at first, but he can only take death being wished on him and told to F OFF so many times." In the begining it was really bothering him so he started to see a therapist. 6 months later (and still seeing the therapist) SHE even agreed for him to let go. He already has health problems. She suggested that he at least still send cards/presents on their birthday and holidays. Me, I SAY HELL NO! They wish DEATH on him everytime they do see or talk to him. I say let them see what it's like to be "dead". Not an option because he has to write that monthly check every month. I can't even take the blame for them not coming around. They have always been like this. I've tried to get them to talk to their dad and they refuse. I don't even try anymore. Frankly, it isn't my problem. I'm not even sure why they hate him so much. BM is TRASH. She walks around in top of the line clothes, mani/pedi, hair is always done, goes out all the time and parties. Yet the kids are dressed in clothes way to tight and don't fit and she tells them she doesn't have any money when they want something (that is when they USE to come to myself or SO.) And of course we would do it. The eldest is sending pics of herself in her bra and underwear to boys (at BMs house.) Her phone was taken away but BM boughter her a brand new and upgraded one. And of course it has a camera and texting. SO didn't agree with it and he said NO PHONE STILL when they visit. I think that's when they really stopped wanting to come over.
All I know is that I was DONE putting up with it. Done hearing them scream GO TO HELL AND F OFF. I left...I am not "with" exSO but we still talk. I'm waiting for the Guilty Daddy Syndrome to set it. He swears it won't. Is this just all weird???