My DH and I married June this year after dating and living together 3.5 years. He has three children - 17, 13, and 10 while I have two - 9 and 6. 

Our living situation: my children are here every other week for a whole week, his eldest son used to live with us but now lives with maternal grandma 1.5 hours away. He was removed from this household after repeatedly disobeying and disrespecting our rules, being grounded for nearly 6 months because of constant rule breaking and finally, he’d told his bio sister that he was going to kill himself (long running mental illness but not depression, done for attention, as evaluated by multiple mental health pros). We’d had enough, so he lives with grandma. My SD lives with us during the week for school and goes to moms 1.5 hours away for the weekend. My youngest SS lives with mom full time and comes to us on the weekends.

I am struggling as a stepmom...the eldest SS is a terrible human being and I can’t stand him and am glad he’s gone, though we have thousands of dollars in medical bills for him due to attention seeking activities - suicide threats, faking a “mini stroke” at school for an ambulance ride, etc. - that his mother suddenly doesn’t have the money to help with. My SD is a really great kid, I have no complaints there as she’s super helpful and well behaved and sweet, but I just hate having to entertain someone all the time. My youngest SS is whiny as all get out and honestly boring. He’s been here for a week on school vacation and he goes home today and I cannot WAIT.

I feel like a monster for feeling this way about children. My DH is wonderfully supportive of me and I don’t hate  most of these kids it’s just...ugh. When my children are home I barely enjoy it, much less with kids who aren’t mine. I thought feelings would develop over time: they didn’t.

How do y’all manage these feelings? I’m just so ready for them all to grow up and go away.