If it were me and it's not but if it were,I would not answer texts from her unless it has something to do with the child.You don't have to be her friend.

I'm dealing with a similar situation where BM says she wants to be buddies, but I don't really trust her motives. I think that as long as you are cordial and civil with her, you do not have to be friends, unless you feel comfortable with it.

I agree with both response that you have been given on here. There are some ex's or baby mamas that are truly willing to get along with the new wife or GF. But if you already know there motives, dont waste your time or bother with her. Focus on the relationship you have with the child and your Husband, and enjoy life. If there is info that she has to know about the child while he/she is with you, call on the phone and tell her rather than text and let her know it should be done the same way for you all when the child is not in your care at present times. always remain to be the bigger person in the situation!

I have a similar situation. As far as motives for wanting to be friendly with DH and I, I couldn't tell you for sure. I definitely wouldn't say I trust her (she can definitely be manipulative sometimes), but in the grand scheme of things I also don't think she has any sinister or malicious motives - I think she's really just done with the whole thing and ready to move on with her life, too. She's typically very non-confrontational. *shrug* I do still roll my eyes at the odd thing she'll say or do, but overall I don't mind her as a person and when we have to talk, we get along fine. Once in a blue moon we'll post a cordial but light comment on each others' FB statuses or something. We certainly don't talk daily or have any plans or expectations to have weekly girls' nights or shopping trips, but it isn't an unrealistic idea for her, myself and DH to meet in the middle and chat for a few minutes before trading off kids or, when they come to visit, going out for dinner one night (mainly because they live about 4 hours away and the visitation is, currently, they visit for a weekend every six weeks and for two weeks in the summertime; also, one SS is too young to be away from her for very long and so we need to be a little flexible for the timebeing).

Is it a little odd? Of course. Here's how I think about the situation though - it's like a coworker relationship. We're all here for the "job" of making a good situation for the kids. During those metaphorical "work hours", where we need to communicate about the kids, we can be cordial and friendly, but we generally don't talk about anything besides what's going on with the kids, much like your average coworkers in a workplace. The odd time we may branch off (lightly) into what else is going on in life, but we don't just call each other up to talk about those unrelated things outside of those "work hours", or the time we're communicating for or going out with the kids. I'm not sure if that makes sense, at least how I've explained it here, but it makes sense in my mind and helps me feel more comfortable about that relationship and those boundaries. It can allow for a positive, friendly interactions without intertwining your lives more than you have to and without giving her more detail about your lives than she needs.

I just answered this for someone else, NO!! I just went thru this and it was a horrible horrible idea!!! Do not waste your time or energy! BMs like that are fake and only want to intrude! "Friendship" only lasted about a month with BM, and she was annoying! Thought she was my best friend! Blew up my phone all the damn time! All they want to do is be closer to us, so they can be closer to our man, their ex!! Do not allow this or fall for anything that BM tells you!!! Trust me!! They are manipulative!

Boundaries exist for a reason. They are healthy. I agree with the advice that you should not feel obligated to be friends with her. If something makes you uncomfrotable, you shouldn't ignore your feelings. Who knows what her real motive is anyway. Yes its true our partners have a past, but do we have to have constantly be reminded of it? In a blended family, I'm a firm believer in clinging what whatever semblance of normalcy you can. This may make me sound insecure but IMO being buddies or constantly dealing with someone your ex had a romantic relationship with just isn't healthy for the current relationship.