So I'll try to make this short as possible. I'm 25 and live with my 32 year old boyfriend who has a 12 year old from a previous relationship. We have a 4 year old together and have been together for 5 years. Since his older son started to become a pre teen we been having problems with his attitude due to the lack of attention from the BM. She's your typical ghetto trash. Getting into fights in front of him, talking about sex with him there present, partying, hanging with low lifes and even leaving him with his grandma to go live with her new girlfriend to a different city 30 minutes away. So grandma has picked up her slack and yet she's still claiming child support. Anyways, due to the lack of attention he has been acting out and in recent years seems to have taking it out on me and my 4 year old. Especially the little one. I wouldn't say he's really agressive towards him but definitely abusive. He slaps him around, has annoyed him constantly when he tell him to stop and a few days ago even threw him off the couch. He even used my toothbrush to clean the toilet and threw away my contact lenses. I can't see without them. Seeing how he's so abusive to my 4 year old for quite some time now has taken a toll on me. I dread his visits and he knows damn well I dislike him abusing my son. He'll do it on purpose now to get to me and to feel powerful against a 4 year old. I have talked to his father many times to discipline him and doesn't do much due to guilty dad syndrome and still tells me it's not my job to discipline him. So pretty much I'm left powerless and have to see my son being thrown and slap around because it's not my job to discipline the brat and I cannot lay a hand on him to avoid child abuse charges. Anyways, that same day he threw away my contacts we all went out to dinner and got a little bit drunk. My bf told me to stop drinking because I looked so tense and had the audacity to ask what's wrong when he knows damn well.. So I started yelling at my bf for not doing his job and how I feel pretty seeing my little one like that when his kid is here. I was a mess crying and screaming and just seeing that smirk on that little piece of shits face was my breaking point. So I told him to stop abusing my son and spit him and threw my wallet at him. Thankfully his dad stopped me because I was so full of anger and couldn't take it anymore....anyways the brat texted his mom and said I spit at him AND HIT HIM. Well she was pissed because I supposedly hit him and said she was gonna come beat me up and take me to court...etc. Well she never came but the next day when I was leaving for the weekend for news years with my family she came and took a pic of my cars license plate and said she was gonna take me to court for hitting her son blah blah and left in her car. Now she actually cares about her kid and has told my bfs family that I hit him. So now I'm the bad guy and my bf has not been supportive when it comes to disciplining his kid because he feels guilty about how his son barely see his mom. He has even undermined my authority in front of the kids. I love him and I want to be with him but he has told me he's a package deal and I just can't accept the brat. I don't know what to do. I feel like taking my son and I out of that toxic environment. Help please.