Hello ! I feel relieved that I am not the only one who doesn't want to be a mother - and did not want to be one - I chose not to - Got married at 55 to a guy I knew in high school after we met up again - He has two children - son is 40 and daughter is 33. Both have two children each - all boys.

SD was living with DH until I came along with her boyfriend - they did nothing and lived there rent free while DH went to work, did shopping, cleaned house? When I was aware of this I thought you have got to be kidding me? And you let them use you that much?? WTF??? Oh, DH said I thought he was a good guy - SD had no boyfriends and no girlfriends either - hmmmmmm......that is a red flag. SD mother then passed away - from a drug overdose - a few months after he wrote her a letter telling her he had met a new woman. Understand death of a Mom - my own Mom had a stroke when I was 22 and became an invalid and died when I was 26. Went to help family out of state (for sake of husband) but it was so weird.

Anyway....SD had two kids with husband - older child had issues with looking at you in the eye, connecting, pointing, communicating at 1 year old. Did not do anything - I said something but was ignored. SD and husband split - she wanted to move out of state so she did and is collecting benefits from welfare. Had another kid and while pregnant was continually angry with her husband. Always SD crying DH on the phone and lied about so much stuff - I tried to be cool - gave her clothes cause she does not know how to dress - wears shorts and tank tops with stomach hanging out and buttcrack visible. Had them over for holidays - Christmas they were to be here at 2 pm - came at 5 pm - DH said nothing -
Basically her and husband came in took presents and left. I of course had bought for kids and tried to be as generous as possible. Trying to please. But she whines and cries whenever she talks to DH or comes over. Moved away out of state - BY CHOICE - thought her ex would change and be a good Dad if she could get him away from his dysfunctional family. Went on welfare and has had opportunities to heal, get her children on the right track. Does not take advantage of programs - don't have gas, too tired yada yada yada. On and on and on and on......
This b.s. has gone on for the past 6 years of out marriage. She is always dramatic, crying with DH every time he talks to her. He comes home, calls her I fix dinner and he reads his Kindle. We help her with everything. Pay for her car insurance, give a bit each week - never once has she said thank you to me - only Dad - oh I will pay you guys back, I am a lousey Mother...cry cry cry......She just wants someone to take care of her kids so she doesn't have to - DH talks to her every day - oh poor thing, she doesn't have any money her ex won't give her anything - but she won't confront nor demand that he take some responsibility for his kids. Now she is worried that he is upset cuz state is going after him for taking care of his wife. But we keep fucking helping her. She cried the other day I don't have any gas to get to work - she actually got a part time job - we shall see how long she lasts - but this is the end of the month and now we are broke till payday. There is so much more drama and I am in tears every day cuz my husband pays more attention to her than me. Maybe I am jealous - got married late - at 55 - never been married - no kids. I was so in love and when I look back I see the signs. He was in credit hell when I met him - ex-wife - and did not try and fix it - just let it go - his daughter had also never paid her bills and he had co-signed for her - credit hell. I fixed it. I am 61 years and am invested with a home, etc. This is wearing on me so much - I can't stand her and don't like the way I feel but I do. So much more has happened - My DH understands but sometimes all people do think what is wrong with you if you didn't want kids or don't feel the same way towards his kids??? I take care of it all - inclulding helping her and initiating a way to help. But this will go on forever I know. Thanks for listening...