So, a couple of weeks ago BM informed DP over the phone that SS9 had decided to kick a hole in his bedroom wall during a tantrum because "SD5 and SS10 get treated different to me!!". This is probably because he is the most boisterous and needs reigning in more. BM is very inconsistent / useless with discipline (because basically she can't be bothered) so DP advised her to ground him and also make him pay for the damage out of his savings. Fair enough.

Fast forward to our weekend with the skids - we decided to take them out to a historic city for the day. May I add that this doesn't normally happen as DP usually takes them swimming and then to his parents for the rest of Saturday while I do my own thing, see family, go to the hairdressers, etc. then we meet back up at home Saturday evening. I WISH WE'D NEVER BOTHERED. SS10 was absolutely fine - no trouble at all but the youngest two just complained the whole way round about being bored and / or hungry. This is despite taking them in various attractions which cost a fortune and which they enjoyed but as soon as they were out it was back to "I'm bored!, I'm hungry". We stopped at a coffee van just for a sit down and a coffee (they got smoothies) and they just continued to be abhorrent. I could feel my blood pressure rising slowly but surely and eventually I had a bit of a mini panic attack I was that stressed out. Seriously, unless they are being constantly entertained / catered to, they simply aren't happy. I've never known kids so ungrateful and spoiled it's untrue - my life wouldn't have been worth living if I carried off like that as a kid! DP even later admitted that they'd had the spotlight on them too much and too long and have obviously not developed the skills to conduct themselves appropriately and realise that the world doesn't revolve around them!

Despite the above, I did have a breakthrough though. DP told the skids on the way back from the farcical trip (which was early because of how they'd behaved) that they'd spoilt the day and made it really unenjoyable and that I wouldn't want to go anywhere with them in future (he pointed out that he wasn't referring to SS10 as he'd been fine).

Also, it was SS9's end of season rugby party the following day and he really wanted to go to this. DP stood his ground and told him he wouldn't be taking him to it because A) He'd kicked a hole in his bedroom wall at home and needs to learn that this is unacceptable He and SD5 spoilt the day out yesterday and C) because BM had not taken him to training for the past 4 weeks and he'll be damned if he's taking him to the "treat" day at the end of season (P.S. We know that BM hasn't been taking him to training out of sheer laziness as she can't be bothered to get out of bed early on a Sunday but my DP used this to his advantage and made out she'd not been taking him because he was grounded mwahahaha).

It doesn't sound much but I could've cried with relief. He also made a comment that "he'd finally seen the light". I was so happy! This is after 18 months of him treating the kids like precious crown jewels that must surely be so traumatized from the divorce that they can't have a word said to / against them as they're so fragile. It's given me hope that we are moving forward. Just thought I'd share