You are here

SD knows I'm in Charge, my Husband and I are finally on the same page. OUR NEW RULES and Zero Tolerance policy

Executivestepmother's picture

}:)

Alright! My husband and I have been together 2.5 years, and SD6 has been living in my house every other weekend for the past 2 years. She started out at 4 years old being the most horrifying spoiled bitch I had ever met. Two years, lots of screaming at my husband (when she wasn't here of course), lots of tears, and WOW... Lots of stuff.

Two years later we have agreed on some new house rules, and they are actually working. When I approached my husband about her behavior I took this approach. If my husband continued to treat SD the way he was she was only going to grow up like her month, who is a lazy slob. If he didn't start putting some rules, structure and expectations out there he wasn't going to teach her any of his values. I told him at any age a kid/person can and should be grateful for anything that is given to them. His daughter had no appreciation for anything and that couldn't be farther from who my husband is. SO... Here are our rules. It's taken two years to make progress, but we just had our first weekend with NO time outs.

Rule#1. No whining, crying or screaming.
#2. We respect all people, their space and their things.
#3. Treat others the way you would want to be treated
#4. We pray each day and are thankful for what we have
#5. No potty words
#5. We always tell the truth. No lying.
#6. No interrupting when people are talking.
#7. We take care of our space, things and body. (Showering, teeth, clean room, put things away when we are done using them)
#8. Listen the first time someone asks you do do something (my favorite)

The last few weeks we have a zero tolerance for Whining, and not listening the first time. There is no more, 1...2...3.... then time out. If she does not listen, she gets an automatic time out. Worked GREAT!!!!

SO this late weekend, SD, brushed her own teeth, cleaned her own room, didn't get any time outs, and basically it was much better. We have both been consistent with the rules and I'm so pleased with the results!

TraumatizedSM's picture

That's too bad that happened. My SD's BM actually called the school principal to prove us wrong regarding SDs study habits we were putting in place. The funny part was, she was told that it was her fault SD was regressing due to her lack of support.

NotMyProblemAnymore's picture

Good for you and your husband! #6 and #8 are my favorite Wink
We have "house rules" as well. They work as long as you're consistent and DH doesn't feel "too lazy to enforce." I would say DH should be the one enforcing them more than you or else you'll quickly become the "evil one." Good luck!

shannanigansam's picture

Way to GO! We've recently implemented a similar system at our house (SD is 4 and a terrorist). I hope we have as much success as you have- it sure makes things easier when both you and DH are on the same page, doesn't it? Smile

What am I getting myself into's picture

woo hoo! great job! i might steal some of these... although i might add something about staying in bed after being tucked in.