Why are you telling him in advance? You know his work schedule. As soon as you have a place to go - apartment, mom, girlfriend, shelter - you wait until he leaves for work, the house is empty you pack your bags and go. You block his phone number on your cell (ask your provider for help), block his email, block him on Facebook and other social sites and IF you leave a note - none is necessary he'll get the idea real quick - if you leave a note you don't even hint at where you're going.

At work you tell the boss what is going on and everyone is to cover for you as best they can while being comfortable about it. If he gets through by phone simply hang up. If he appears you have someone call the police - without any hesitation they call the police. This guy is a control freak and all controllers are potentially dangerous which is why there is no hesitation to call the police. Usually once is enough.

Call your family. Since they didn't want you with this guy, they will be happy to help you get away from him.

If only I were almost 30! you have every chance of meeting someone else. The reason you can't find the strength to leave is because your self-esteem is way too low and you can't raise your expectations for yourself. Your abusive SO putting you down is making it almost impossible for you to raise your self-esteem just enough to get the strength to leave.

Try to find a friend, if you can, or your family. I had an abusive BF. Fortunately, I got to demanding, he saw the writing on the wall and kicked me out. I was lucky. I had family help me move out.

I fear your SO needs your financial support too much, so he's doing everything possible to keep you down and keep you tied to him.

I also feared being alone, but I managed to leave anyway. I remember I felt both heartbreak and relief at the same time. Focus on the relief you'll feel and focus less on the heartache part of it. The heartache will pass and once you break free of him after a while you'll wonder why you never left sooner.

Most importantly, block his texts and calls after you leave. He will try every trick in the book to get you to come back. It happened to me. Fortunately I was so angry I never went back, but I had to stop responding to my abusive ex's text messages before he would give up. He even kept texting me after he married another woman!!

These abusers have such big egos they always want to think women are pining after them, even after a break up. Best of luck to you and be strong!

There you have it from someone who was in a situation just like yours. Proof positive you can make it. I suspect the hardest part is walking out that door for the last time because it holds so much unknown. Other women have done it and so can you. One step at a time.

What he really means is, nobody else will want him because he is an asshole.

Don't listen to a word he says unless it's, "Good-bye".

"I am a grown woman" ... so act like one. Enough said on that part.

You fear the unknown more than your detest your situation. Not a good place to be in obviously.

You have invested nothing because he has invested nothing. All you have to lose is the past. There is no way to make the past perfect or even improve the past so move on, now, don't think about it, don't delay. Call the movers and go.

Good luck and never forget that even bad days have tomorrows. But tomorrow will be better only if you do something differently than you did today.

Oh hon, 30 is not old at all!! I have met plenty of single childfree men in that age category! This man is abusing you...he's making you feel less than so he can keep you in his grasp. BREAK FREE!

You are extremely intelligent and have great common sense about everything that is going on, it's just tat this man has run you into the ground for far too long. I am also a childfree woman (always will be) and just broke it off with my bf.

It is hard, but let me tell you, it's far better than being with someone who isn't capable of love.

You deserve to be:

Cherished

Honored

Respected

Loved

Treasured

Wanted

Valued

Don't ever take any less! This guy you are with is just an abusive asshole that will play a great whirlwind romance with the next woman and will start abusing her too. Trust me, I've seen it happen too many times, and it happened to me.

Get out now, and know there IS a perfect match out there for you!

You do not have a 5 year investment in this man. You share nothing together but a roof, as you said. You can share that with a roommate if you need one, a roommate that will be nice to you. I was in this similar place many times (minus the verbal-emotional abuse), but even with that I feel like being a step-parent is emotionally abusive enough. Think about what you want in life. Think about your future kids, do you want him to be their father? I can assume the answer is no. It does not get better, trust me. If anything better comes of the situation, it's because you have sacrificed some part of yourself to make it that way. It's unfair, and no one deserves it.

You can do this, you can be happy. You can have a life. You're a year older than me, and I'll be damned if I think of myself as old. This is a chance for you to do what you want. What will consume your thoughts when you are gone? I'm pretty sure it's not going to be how mad you are that he has a kid, I'm sure it won't be about how you think he's not a good dad, I'm sure you won't worry about your Skid. What will you think about? Moving someplace warm, getting a new job, living in a place without a child that's not yours, focusing on school and your career, finding someone who loves you baggage-free, being happy?

Ask yourself what you'll think about and feel every day if you were not with him? I think disappointment, anger, anxiety, etc. will not be a factor. I've tried to teach myself this...but here I am with these feelings and thoughts. You have an out, if you want it then take it.

I'm 46 honey and I am in counseling to get the strength to leave, for me being a step mom is not the life I want and honestly I'd rather be single, in a relationship with myself and my travel agent than to be dealing with all that is raising a step kid. I never want kids so to be here is crazy to me, but if I did want them then I would probably want to do it with someone who didn't already any.

30 isn't old, hell I have friends who are having babies in their 40s, getting married for the first time, and some who are retiring to beachy Mexico...life is what you make it sweets! I am learning, getting stronger and getting myself back. This step stuff has sucked the life right out of me and my situation is pretty easy, but early on I bought into the you should be willing to sacrifice for love crap and now I am kicking myself for it.

Ultimately you have to do what is right for you and your future. don't buy into the bullsh** of thinking you'll be alone. It has kept far too many people in crappy situations for no reason. Love yourself enough. BIG HUGS I am right there with ys!

so he works PT and pays $500 in CS....so i assume you are paying the rent on the apartment which means you should have the finances to leave. count your blessings that your name isnt on the lease (i know this angers you but its actually a huge PLUS if you are looking to leave). you can completely walk away and there isnt anything or anyone that can come after you for money or ruin your credit score. let him lose his apartment.

I walked out on my ex, and he didnt have any kids he was just treating me in a way I didnt want to be treated, didnt put effort in to change and didnt listen when I said enough.

Sure you can feel bad for 5 years spent with him, but dont see it as 5 years wasted, see it as 5 years of "what not to do" and dont make it 5 years and 6 months, or even a few more days.

When I left I literally just walked out stayed away overnight and went back the next day for all my stuff. Dont answer any calls/texts, block him if you can, cut him and any of his family of facebook and job done.

Move out, move on and just smile to yourself that your dipshit boyfriend is going to be your dipshit ex-boyfriend that you never have to put up with again.

I am in exactly the same boat (except a few years older) and just left my husband after 3 years of being together. Yes, it hurts but it outweighs the hurt, anxiety and misery I experienced living with the SKs.

Call friends and family. Get their support. I couldn't have done it without mine. Leaving was one of the hardest things I've ever done but I'm alive and kicking...and relieved and happier. Just know that it gets better and easier. You will feel a huge weight off your shoulders when you leave. Don't waste anymore time. I'd give anything to be 30 again! Go and enjoy it!