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Have you ever told your Skids that you love them? In five years of being in their lives, I never have.

Selene's picture

DH and his ex-wife have made it a point to entertain, roll out the red carpet and make a big freaking deal about everything with their precious kids. They set the precedent, not me. When the Skids are with their BM, she constantly takes them to her parents’ house so they ALWAYS have an audience and someone to entertain them. This is one of my biggest pet peeves when they are at our house where it's only DH and me. Sorry, but I wasn't put on earth to entertain kids. My sisters and I were certainly never in our parents' faces all the time expecting adults to play with us, wanting to be taken somewhere all the time, having activities to do, etc.

Compared to most people on here, my SD12 and SS8 are relatively good and we get along, but I loathe the incessant fawning over them. I feel guilty at times that I find their presence annoying and that I look for opportunities to escape it, even if it's just making sure I'm in a different room at home under the guise of cleaning or catching up on work, or purposely leaving work late during the week on the nights they are at our house. If their BM ever cut the umbilical cord to HER mother and moved far away with the Skids (not that there is ever a chance of that happening, plus DH would not let that happen without a fight) and we didn't have 50/50 custody, I would not be disappointed.

I need to find a hobby or activity that gets me out of the house regularly. I find EOW and the weeknights that we have them suffocating and exhausting.

BSgoinon's picture

I do. All of the time. I do love him. BUT, I have raised him since he was 1. And hes a good kid.

Ninji's picture

They tell me all the time that they love me and I tell them. I do, but I love my dogs more. Geez, that's horrible. Smile

Selene's picture

Not horrible; just honest! I'm a dog person, not a kid person. I dote on my dog all the time. I married DH because I wanted to be his wife, not a SM.

doglady's picture

Of Course we love our animals more we picked them out of a liter to be all ours, I didn't get to decide which skid I got!

Sports Fan's picture

Hell no. I don't even like them, even a little bit. Counting the days until they decide to stop coming.

Rags's picture

Yes. Frequently. But, I have raised SS-22 as my own since before he was 2yo. So, I do love the Skid. He is MY son.

Annoyed1's picture

Nope. I think I may have once when ss was 14 but it's cause he was moving back to BMs, so I think he just caught me in a really good mood Wink I've been in their lives 10 years and it's just not natural for me to say it to them, because in all actuality, I don't love them.

Sootica's picture

Nope never ever, I don't wish SS harm and at times I have been fond of him but never felt any love. My cats on the other hand I love to bits and tell them I do so regularly.

Morticia's picture

No, I don't. And if anything ever happened to my DH that SD8 wouldn't be a part of my life anymore, I wouldn't even send her a Christmas card. And that's really ironic, since I don't celebrate Christmas. I celebrate Hannukah.

Mikhaila87's picture

I thought I did. It is strange. I care about them not sure if it will grow into love.

doglady's picture

Sometimes DH will say "We love you" blah or he will say Doglady loves you don't you? I just kind of say yup or something silly but on my own? No never

misSTEP's picture

Yes I did. But we had just gone through getting in a horrific car accident taking them back to their BM's place. SD was hospitalized overnight for observation (she was hysterical).

I even made SS hug me even though he acted like I was making him lick leeches.

SecondGeneration's picture

Yes, quite often. My SD is 4 and I've been here since she was 2.
I have a very good relationship with my SD and I honestly believe it is because SD and the BM have a stable, solid relationship. Our situation (at present) is one without the power play and PAS you see so often on these boards (all that drama I was expecting is what brought me here to try to arm myself with knowledge at the very beginning)

Though, when thinking about it, it is usually in response to SD saying it to me as opposed to me offering it up to her. I believe I do love her, but Im under no delusions, I do not feel I love her like a daughter, I feel like I love her like I love my niece. I love her, I care for her and I will do my best to keep her from harms way but I know its not the same as parent/child love.

member1234l's picture

Never.

going_to_kill_someone's picture

I used to say that to her and I used to mean it. Not anymore, I hate her guts, and I wish her away. I don't think I want her to die or gut hurt However, I wish her bitch of a mother was a decent woman that she didn't get her children taken away from her, and DH was a decent man in the first place and not have left the stupid in charge of SD.