Avoidance techniques?
I like and get along with kids well enough and I've always enjoyed being an Aunt. I will NEVER regret my choice to be childfree, although technically that term isn't entirely accurate as I have two step-children (SD8 and SS4) following my marriage a couple of months ago. The kids are good and we get along, but even just having them 50% of the time (schedule is 4 nights on, 3 nights off, 2 nights on, 5 nights off) is MORE THAN ENOUGH for me. I often feel a bit claustrophobic, for lack of better description, when we have them. By Sunday evening when we have had them since Wednesday after school/daycare, I am ECSTATIC to see them walk out the door to go to their Mom's place! I secretly count down the hours until they are gone. Kid time for me will be much less annoying when my SS4 is older and not so needy; I can't stand the whiny way he talks, not to mention how much attention he has to have all the time. I am annoyed that I am forced to pander to his "look at me, look at me" behavior. The weekends when we have them are so long, that I actually look forward to going back to work on Monday; how pathetic is that?!? All that being said, does anyone have any subtle/effective avoidance techniques? Looking to bypass being constantly badgered to play or participate in any number of annoying, mind-numbing activities. I have to spend one of my few days off work this week babysitting the kids and let me tell you, I am feeling ILL at the thought of being stuck with them all day by myself.
Thanks for the reply,
Thanks for the reply, Snarky01; sounds like we are two peas in a pod! To further drive home my need to avoid, here is my “conversation” with SS4 the other day; have I mentioned how annoying four year olds are?
"Selene, you have to go to boring, old work today. Selene...Selene...you have to go to boring, old work, Selene...Selene...Selene...you're going to work today, Selene."
YEAH, I GOT IT! I have to go to work today...oh, excuse me, boring, old work. Is there a question in there, buddy??! What do you want from me?? What exactly is it that I am supposed to do here? You’re stating a fact, not actually asking a question. I finally said, "Yeah," and he thankfully went away. For the record, I was HAPPY to go to work that day because it meant I wasn't stuck with him the whole day. I may have actually skipped into work that day because I was ecstatic to be there.
I'm at a loss as to his staggering need for attention. I foresee a drinking problem in my future...
When you don't have kids that
When you don't have kids that you have raised from infanthood and 'inherit' someone elses kids with their weird traits that is seen as cute and adorable by their parents (because they have lived wiht it forever)then the stupid stuff does drive you insane.
If this kids is driving you mad, lay the law down now because it will only get worse later.
:Yes I am going to work. No it isn't boring because it helps pay for the food and electric bill. It is called being a grown up and I can play on a computer all day and get paid for it. Now go play in your room."
Be dismissive and he will learn not to annoy you and in turn other adults in his life. He is only 4 and not going to be shitty about it. When my grand daughter (nearly 4) starts annoying me I point out the error in her ways and she goes off to do something else.
Draw your fair but firm boundaries now. I am lucky because my s/sons thought I sounded like the Super Nanny (she is English/ I am from NZ... no similarity at ALL!)so they tended to listen to me.
I feel somewhat like you do.
I feel somewhat like you do. I love my sd, who is 7, but I dont have my own children (yet; but I do want them and I know it will be different when I have my own, as I will have 'more tolerance' and the level of love will be different) so I dont really know how to 'act' around her. I do the same as you, try to avoid her when I am not in the mood to play with her (which is about 45% of the time, so its not that high). She is getting better about self entertainment, but it still lacks at time and my dh is always playing PS3 so she looks to me to entertain her. Basically I will do anything that I have avoided all week and/or day -because i am procrastinator!- : I will do dishes, clean the bathroom, clean everything, do homework (im in college-this is the BEST thing that gets me away because if im doing this, my dh will make extra sure that sd is quiet lol) run to the store -even if we dont really 'need' anything, i will find SOMETHING we need- hang out with friends, cook a long meal which will take me away, run to a family member's house to visit, go outside for a walk, which sometimes dh and sd will join me; which is fine because dh will be there to entertain her lol. Get on the internet (get on steptalk lol). Hope i helped you some!
edit; also what Snarky said, encourage the skids to play with each other. Sometimes I wish sd had a brother or sister or a neighborhood kid that was her age because when there is other kids around, she will ignore me and dh lol
Find a BK or McD with an
Find a BK or McD with an indoor playground. Bring a book and headphones, even better find one with free wireless access & talk to us. Hours of entertainment very little investment or interaction.