BM TO BLAME...
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UPDATE from my topic HELP BEING CALLED NAMES: Found out today when my SO met the BM to pay child support (I was sick so I didn't go with him) the BM asked if he missed them.... So I now believe the BM is poisoning my future SD and probably planting it in her head that I am standing in the way of her and her daddy getting back together.... any advice?
Yeah, he needs to have as
Yeah, he needs to have as little contact with her as he can.
Not sure how old your future SD is, but has your SO talked to her at all about the divorce/split? These poor kids have all of these life changes happening to them and nobody talks to them!
My husband told my SD, "Your mother and I both love you but we do not love each other and we were not happy together."
I know for a long time she thought they would have gotten back together if not for me but as she got older, she realized that was not true at all.
First of all BM is not to
First of all BM is not to blame. Your DH is. Rather than tolerating any interface with her not transfer of kid related your DH should have nothing to do with his X except for picking up or dropping off their spawn.
You and DH need to stay very connected and engaged with each other. You are a team. His present and future are you. All BM has is his past and his toxic spawn. Part of staying connected is making sure that each and every one of these little interfaces are discussed fully between you or you are there when they happen. If you continuously work on your connection with each other and communicate, communicate, communicate, this kind of pathetic crap from either his X or your X will be nothing more than fodder for laughing your asses off together.
As others have said ... DIRECT PAYROLL WITHHOLDING OF CS!!!!! NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW!!!!!! That way she has zero reason to call DH regarding money and the answer when she calls will always be "Call the CSE office!!!! My CS is withheld by the state and they pay you directly after taking my money."
All IMHO of course.
Your DH needs to address it
Your DH needs to address it directly with SD, in age appropriate language. Something like, "Sweetie, I want you to know that I love you. I will never be with your mom again no matter who I date, live with, or marry - but that has nothing to do with my relationship with you. I'm your Dad and always will be, no matter when I live."
There is no reason I see that
There is no reason I see that he should be meeting to pay childnsupport. That needs to be arranged through the court. It minimizes meets and arguments.