When is enough-enough
So Im the Sm to a 32 year old man, except he doesnt act like a 32 year old! Been married to his father for 12 yrs and in those 12 years he has been living with us on and off, that is when he's not in jail, prison,mooching off stupid girls, who actually do take care of his no job sleep all day whats for dinner kind of person he is. So his last girlfriend had him arrested for assulting her, and of coures called dear old dad. So he's out of jail and just assumes with out asking that he's going to come to our house, like always dh never says he cant stay I mean where else would his ds go?? I have put up with this person coming and going, stealing my car not his dads pick up but my car(yes had him arrested) breaking things of mine from my home, yelling awful things to his dad, always asking for money, which his dad gives him(knows better then to ask me)getting him out of jail gets him a private lawyer I mean what else!!! Im just so sick of his face being around my house sleeping till noon, then wants to take a shower @ 3:00pm then waits for dinner, I mean really and my dh is busy working all day and when he gets in doesnt want to deal with him, but by then Ive had enough.
I think about leaving but its not because I dont love my husband, but Ive had enough. Talking to husband doesnt seem to work.
Now what??
If you continue to do what
If you continue to do what you've always done, you'll continue to get more of the same.
Your DH needs a wake up call. Can you find someplace else to live if the SS comes to live with you again? I would not be able to tolerate this situation and would be out of there in a heartbeat. This doesn't mean divorce necessarily, but you do need to get his attention.
Your SS needs to hit bottom before he has any hope of turning his life around. And even then, he might not. But your DH is actually hurting his son by providing a soft landing spot and enabling his bad behavior.
Save yourself. That's all I can think of.
Thansks merry for your
Thansks merry for your comment i do feel that i should take a stand by moving out but then i feel that the ss wins. Why should me and my girls get out and inconvience ourselfs but your right that my dh doesnt care how i feel and something has to be done. Thank you.
Oh, you have children at
Oh, you have children at home. Think about this. Right now your girls are learning that it is ok for men to treat women this way. It's a lesson coming from both the SS and your DH. Assuming they love your DH, then in their minds, this lesson must be true. You have to protect them first and foremost.
This sounds awful for you. I hope your DH comes to his senses and surrounds himself with the people who really love him (you) instead of the one that just uses him.
I work as a home health aide
I work as a home health aide with seniors in their homes. Right now I am not doing 24 hour care but in the past I have done that. Well one senior couple I worked with had a son who was in his 60s (YES REALLY!) who was always asking to stay there. It was hugely uncomfortable for us care takers to have this older man staying with his parents, we cooked and cleaned for him and did his laundry. He slept on the couch and then sat around watching tv and snoring throughout the day while we were all living around him. I actually dealt with this for 10 months, working 3 - 24 hour days each week. I nearly went mad but I needed the money so badly (this was back when my dh was unemployed and I was paying child support as well) that I endured it as best I could. This guy would beg his dad for things all the time, mostly gas money. Then one day he actually talked his dad (my client) into buying him a big huge pickup truck b/c he had a job offer. That offer fell through after the truck was bought of course. His next famous thing was going out for a bit after asking for cash from dad and then coming back high as a kite and acting all weird and talking like a psycho. He'd try really hard to get into arguements. It was awful. I finally just quit after the dad had fallen and broke his leg and the son decided to move in permanently to help the caregivers. I was done. Enough was enough. If you don't do something in 30 yrs you might still be doing what you're doing now.
THANKS STERLINGSILVER FOR UR
THANKS STERLINGSILVER FOR UR COMMENT Im afraid that if i dont make a move or make my dh really listen, i will be the wife of the old man with the 60 year old son living at home.I appreacite your commment and keep you updated on whats going on.
Sounds like you need a new DH
Sounds like you need a new DH since the one you have doesn't seem to give a damn about your welfare.
I do love my dh very much,
I do love my dh very much, and when the ss is not here we have a wonderful relationship. Its just been the ss is here things are sour. I appreciate Your comment thank you.
I am the same as you, in
I am the same as you, in regard to the not being able to stand skid, but still loving my husband, although that love is really strained because DH is a spineless muck when it comes to skid. I am at the point where leaving looks better than staying, but at the same time I want to fight for my marriage against this little snot nosed toxic element that stands in our way of a true marriage. I don't want to leave over a skid, but so often, I feel like I have no choice and definitely no ally in this because my DH does nothing.
Thank You Sooooo much
Thank You Sooooo much wowthisishard, I felt like you just gave me a can of whip ass, and
im ready to use it on Dh!!!
Pack your things and get out
Pack your things and get out as soon as you can...go to a shelter if you have to.Your husband does not respect you any more than his son does.If he's a man he will get his son out of your house and beg you to come home.If not, he doesn't care like you hoped he would. Sorry to be so straight up about it, but look what you are going through, you deserve better.
I don't get why adult parents are so afriqad to say "NO" to their adult kids.
because they are selfish.
because they are selfish. it's all about them instead of doing what's best for their adult kid. pathetic.
I agree with the others
I agree with the others because I know what's it's like to have a lazy Step in the same house. Your DH isn't going to do anything to change it because he knows you're not going any where. You'll mumble and grumble but at the end of the day, you'll still be there.
My DH refused to give SD a move out date. I couldn't stand being under the same roof as SD and nobody or nothing . .not even love . . .was going to make me live that nightmare. So I started saving for my own place. Fortunately I made things so difficult for SD, she eventually moved out.
Your DH needs to know he has a choice to make and that you are indeed serious. If he doesn't make it . .you make it. Life is too short to be miserable.