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What is the right thing to do?

Lady's picture

Submitted by Lady on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 10:14am

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Adult Stepchildren

I am no longer part of my stepkids life. I have been kicked out by their stupidness and they will not work out issues. Instead they tell me I can not see the grandkids anymore and I am not welcome.No gifts will be accepted for their kids if my name is on it. SD will be having a baby in December and she has told her dad only he can be at the hospital for the birth.I am not welcome.When the other grandkids have anything going on I am not welcome to be there. So what is right. Sd tells her dad he has a choice and he should leave me behind and be with her side of family.My husband tells her he will not leave me behind because of the trouble she has cause and will not try to make a mends with me.H tells her he loves his grankids as well as I do and she is sorry for not letting me see them .H told her I will not be at the hospital without my wife and if any gifts will be accepted they will be from both of us .H told her this is my choice since you are making me choose between my wife and you and grands.I choose my wife.Boy I am hated for sure. Glad my H is doing what is right.I wonder if H sure go without me? I want him to stand by me but what about the child to be born? I dont know what is right. Any advice? Why do SK do this . :?

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 10:23am

What your husband is doing is the RIGHT thing to do. Sorry, these adult idiots need to learn that people have boundaries and it is NOT up to them to tell others what to do. They can make demands and then they will need to live with the consequences. Just because they demand something, does NOT mean that the other person has to do it. Kuddos to your husband.

giveitago's picture

Submitted by giveitago on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 10:43am

Your DH is absolutely right not to be drawn into their games and he's doing the best thing. They'll realize that he's not willing to play and they'll come around eventually. The baby being born will not know whether he's there in the room or not, truly!
I agree with the other posters, make sure DH knows how much you appreciate what he is doing.

Ghost Rider's picture

Submitted by Ghost Rider on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 10:44am

He is doing the right thing. You just don't command someone to either pick between me and you if you are going to be part of my life bit. That is BS!

If I had a son or daughter that did that to me I would tell them be on their way. I do not pick who they get to be with when they marry they do not get to pick mine.

TASHA1983's picture

Submitted by TASHA1983 on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 10:54am

I commend your husband for standing up for you and taking your side on these issues with the skids. YOU are his WIFE!!! Kids grow up and move on with their lives then all that is left is the husband and wife...he most definitely did the right thing!!! His kids have NO RIGHT to demand or expect him to just ditch his own wife just to do what THEY want!!!

You are VERY blessed to have a man that has the balls and enough repect for you to put his kids in check and stand up for you and your marriage. Never let that one go!!!

Let him know EVERY DAY what a great man & husband he is!!! Wink

frustratedstepdad's picture

Submitted by frustratedstepdad on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 11:35am

^ I agree. You are definitely lucky to have a spouse who will actually stand up to his kids. The average wife/husband would've caved in. I know for a fact my wife wouldn't stand up for me like that.

Make sure you give your husband some "extra special sex" for having your back like that! Lol Seriously though you should definitely let him know that you appreciate what he is doing.

Not-the-mom's picture

Submitted by Not-the-mom on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 11:43am

Sing "Oh, Happy Day"!!!

Good for your DH!!! So many of us here have worked very hard to get our husbands to support us. Some have been able to accomplish this, and others haven't. Be HAPPY that your husband is able to set some healthy boundaries with his spoiled kids!

I suggest you let your husband make his own decisions. If he is serious about not allowing his kids to blackmail him into choosing them over you - GOOD!

Why should YOU feel bad? Support your husband in his mature and wise decision.

The stepkids that do this sort of thing are spoiled, self-centered, manipulative individuals - that is why they do it.

Now go be happy and feel good that your husband is one great guy!