stepkid stress

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Another day and I feel like I'm losing control. I care for my 2 step kids full time aswell as my own daughter. Hubby works full time. They never see their mum. I feel myself getting stressed over silly things. Im so sick of cleaning after them constantly. I'm fed up of picking dirty underwear up off their floor, being their maid. I know I would let the same things go with my own daughter, which is probably wrong but I cant help myself. I dont hate the kids, but I dont love like my own child. Is that even possible? Urgh, just so stressed out with it all.

Hi, I hear you and

Hi, I hear you and understand. How old are the SK's? And yes, we do get tired - sick and tired. Perhaps DH can help with the mess, they are after all his children. Depending on their ages, set up a chore chart and have picking up clothes ie. dirty underwear on it and if SK's do all their chores they get a reward of some sort depending on their age.

You might like to read Stepmonster, as it explains a lot about the biological issues with step-mothering. It is almost impossible to love SK's as your own and we beat ourselves up over it. Let it go and accept it for what it truly is. You are in their life, but you are NOT their mother. Be kind to yourself - you are doing the best you can and it is a thankless job. Go do something nice for yourself right now. Have a bubble bath, lock the door; read a book; go out for lunch; visit a girlfriend; anything that will make you happy right now. It is not selfish to do so, it is to save your sanity and soul. Take care.

With my BS's I've made one

With my BS's I've made one afternoon per weekend be the day when we all 3 or us (and DH if not working) go round the house cleaning their rooms and bathroom together. No-one is then left alone with their chores, which children seem to find hard. Everyone does it together and it is relatively fun. Try this?

We have a treat after. It's

We have a treat after. It's in the routine so I am the cheerleader not the maid.

yeah I had that with my SS

yeah I had that with my SS who is nearly that age. To be fair he always does stuff when asked, just always needs asking. As someone else said on another post, the drag is that the training takes triple the time of doing it yourself so it's very labour intensive and exhausting. I guess with an adult bio I would tell a refusing one that they have to increase their financial contribution to the household if they don't do chores -- then hire someone to clean up after them. That might make them move.

maybe get him to make the

maybe get him to make the side dishes & lay the table... something to just prove he is not a character in Beauty and the Beast entering an enchanted castle where he gets served by invisible hands... you need to do this for later, ie as and when you get old enough to hate standing and really appreciate him clearing up after a meal. my 86-year-old mother is a great entertainer and cook and totally compos mentis and will cook a lunch party for all her 4 children, spouses and so forth as a matter of pride but, if we did not sort stuff out for her afterwards it would turn into a really horribly exhausting labour for her and become not an option. And, at that age it's nice to not have to ask.

If you get to that point consider seperate households.

Hi, I hear you and

With my BS's I've made one

We have a treat after. It's

yeah I had that with my SS

maybe get him to make the

Oh no I really didn't mean

You know it's such a relief

wow, great helpful tips!!!

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stepkid stress