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The Scratcher

AngrySO's picture

I've grown to like this forum as it's given me an outlet to vent about Dumbass. The last post was something that happened early on and so I thought for this one I would keep us in the present.

On Superbowl Sunday, my wife and I decided that we would tackle a few errands we needed to do in preparation for the game. It came to my attention that Dumbass was going to watch the game at a friends house and be spending the night. To say I was overly estatic might be an understatement. When Dumbass is not at home, it's like a pressure valve has released the steam from an over heating pot. The Occupy Living Room encampment is cleared out, my wife and I can enjoy our space and privacy, and best of all Dumbass isn't there.

So Sunday I spent the morning cleaning our bedroom and our bathroom prior to running our errands. As I was coming down the stairs, Dumbass immediately goes to take a shower to get ready to leave at 12:30. I unfortunately forgot my wallet, mask, & car keys in my briefcase and couldn't go upstairs because Dumbass was in the shower.

So to kill some time my wife and I hung out in the living room, waited for the couch paper weight to come down so I can run up.

Now this part is important.

We have a cat scratcher in the shape of a house that we keep in front of a closet. In order to get into the closet you have to move the scratcher. It's a cardboard scratcher by the way that cost $4 on sale.

Dumbass in his Dumbass ways moves this cat house out of the way but NEVER puts it back. On Sunday not only did I stumble into the cat scratcher AGAIN, but also our laundry basket that he moved out of the way to get to the closet. So I had to push past this obstacle to get in and then rearrange things back to how they were. I started to curse very loudly in the house so everyone could hear.

When I came down stairs my wife saw that I was fuming and just wanted to leave immediately. When we got into the car she said to me matter of factly "the cat scratcher was in the middle of the door again". She knew. She knew exactly what that putz had done because he is if anything a creature of habit.

As a consolation my wife just kept reminding me that he'll be gone when we get back home.

Boy was she wrong. Not only was he still there, but now there was a doubt as to whether he was even going anywhere anymore. As you can imagine, the raging beast that dwells deep inside me was starting to rear his ugly head. 

Luckily he left but unfrotunately he came back.

 

caninelover's picture

So he has to move it to sit and sleep Smile

Or better yet, evict him!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Why can't you go upstairs when Dumbass is taking a shower? Do you have to walk through the bathroom to get to the upstairs?? Evil Aniki would put a lock on every freaking door in the house. 

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

The burning platform is exactly how one should parent. Unfortunately I know SO would never support or enforce such a thing. His kids will be set up to fail and that is a sad fact.

I have made other plans to force a launch. I cannot get promoted at work unless I move. That is my long term plan and they will not be invited to move with me. They will be given a date that the house will be put up for sale and they are on their own to figure it out.

Evil4's picture

This works. I did exactly that. I bought a house and told DH he can either come with me or stay with his adult babies forever, but they cannot come to live in the same house as me ever again. DH came with me and here we are six years later. 

tog redux's picture

Just curious, why do you keep a cat scratcher in front of a closet? (Not excusing Dumbass, just wondering).

P.S. Dumbass needs to GTFO.  Time to have that fight with your wife.

AngrySO's picture

It's a small closet that we don't go into daily (except Dumbass) so we just leave it there for them. It's in a nook the cats like 

Rags's picture

You know the solution is quite simple. Next time he leaves, call a locksmith to rekey the locks then bag all of his crap in 50Gal garbage bags and sit them on the curb. He can either pick up his shit and leave, or... it goes away on the next garbage day.

He is an adult.  Why is he still there?