Now it's not One i can't stand, it's TWO

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Here we go again. I was just getting better at tolerating my GF's daughter , 22yrs, when she found a boyfriend. That's right, this girl that can't keep clothes off the floor of her room and has a bathroom all to herself to trash , has somehow found a boy that will sleep with her. EEEWWWW She is such a little pig. I feel bad saying that. I really do. But, don't know of any other way to put it.
So, here is the problem. I come over to my GF's house (trailer in a mobile park) and as we are sitting watching tv and relaxing, we hear tee hee tee hee and rumblings from the daughter's room one thin wall behind us. I'm like G.. Da.. it This sucks. She, my GF, is like "well can't you just be happy for her ?" It is annoying !! Happy ?? I am amazed that anyone would have anything to do with her !! But, I am sure he , the boyfriend , is only after one thing. And for all I know maybe she is too. Who knows , who cares.
I care about my piece and tranquility. I have a 30yr old daughter living with me at my house (house on a street). I told her "NO Sleep overs, period."
My GF is saying it is only until she moves out , which is suppose to be in a month. I am not counting on anything right now.
Oopps, I left off an important bit of information....lol He is sleeping over every night now. And why not ?? She meet him on the internet dating site 2 wks ago so, why shouldn't he sleep over every night now. My 2 must haves are: One do you have a job, Two do you have a working vehicle. ?? He has a job as a dishwasher at a hotel downtown. No car.
Her must haves (GF's daughter): Penis and a heart beat. The second is preferred but, not necessary.
GF's must haves : N/A
Supposedly he has an apartment downtown. So you ask "why are they not sleeping , living there with his 3 other roommates ?" Good question.
I think my solution to the problem is to just not go over there and subject myself to such BS !!
I am really questioning whether this relationship will every be viable with a daughter that is so helpless and clueless. She will always have something she needs mommy for and will never be truly off on her own.
REALLY SAD
p.s. I am reading this book right now "Codependent No More". It is a really good read. I would love to have my GF read it but, not sure if she could ever stop relating to her daughter like she does. Again SAD

I hate to be a B, but it

I hate to be a B, but it sounds a little funny to me that you're complaining about her letting her 22 year old live with her, but your 30 year old lives with you.

You're wondering when her 22 year old will ever be on her own....when will your 30 year old be on her own?

Of course, you probably feel that your own daughter is a better person, more tolerable to live with. She probably feels the same about hers.

Also, it's weird to me that you point out that your girlfriend lives in a trailer park, but you live in a house on the street. Why? Are you feeling superior?

Just seems like the pot calling the kettle black.

Just happened to look back at

Just happened to look back at this. My daughter moved in with me when she got out of jail as a stipulation of drug court rehab. She lived with me 2yrs until i evicted her last june 2019. WRONG AGAIN

If you don't think your GF is

If you don't think your GF is good enough for you, or that she's not a good parent, just break up with her and move on. Sounds like you would be doing her a favor.

Why do you care about

Why do you care about something that isn't happening in your home?

You have no room to talk about that girl and her boyfriend. You have a 30 year old kid living in your home AND your girlfriend lives in a trailer park.

This girlfriend is not the

This girlfriend is not the right person for you. Plus you hate her daughter. Time to move on or live with what your girlfriend offers you. Either way it is your choice.

Totally missed the point. I

Totally missed the point. I guess I wasn't clear enough. I guess I thought some of you had kept up with past posts. Oh well.
Here it is in a nutshell: My girlfriend is super sweet !! Unfortunately , she is super syrupy sweet to her daughter which she can never say "NO" to !!! Anyone relate to that out there ???? Women or parents with an only child they can't say "NO" to. ???? That's the problem.
"Move on " you say. I am 60yrs and GF is 58yrs. I was married once for 15yrs had 3 children and am now divorced for the last 18yrs. Just not sure what to do at this point. Been with my current GF 8yrs. Hate to throw it all away cause of a snot nose brat !! Maybe some of you can relate to that ????

I checked to read some of

I checked to read some of your past posts. I couldn't find any. Maybe tell us more about your past blogs so we can understand since you feel we missed the point.

Oh I found them under adult

Oh I found them under adult step children. No need to reply.

She is saying yes to her

She is saying yes to her daughter having a boyfriend sleep over because she is fine with it.

She does not have to change her house rules simply because you disagree with them.

As I always say, "her house,

As I always say, "her house, her rules."

You don't have to be fine with her decisions. It's not your kidult nor is it your home.

AAAANNNTTTT Wrong answer.

AAAANNNTTTT Wrong answer. You said "she doesn't have to change.....etc" but, she has !!! That's the whole point. A month ago GF laid down the law (albeit a very pliable law) "NO SLEEP Overs!!" Then a month later boyfriend arrives and sleep overs are now allowed. And in what world is it ok for daughters or sons to be having adult sleep overs at their parents , again parents , HOUSE ???
All the "well its her house and bla bla bla.......wooow !!! What is wrong with you people ???????

AAANNNTTT Wrong answer AGAIN

AAANNNTTT Wrong answer AGAIN !!!
It is the daughters fault and the mothers !! Some only child spoiled brats would say "NO" mom , I know you are just trying to give me everything I want, but, it's not right !!! But, no, she takes and takes and takes and mom keeps giving and giving and giving.
VERY insulted.!! Didn't say a thing about trailer trash. Actually her "Trailer" has more full baths and is newer than my house on a street. Was just painting a picture. You took the leap .....of a cliff I hope !!!!

I am still stuck on the

I am still stuck on the "TRAILER in a Mobile home park".

Anyway, sorry your dealing with this.

GOOD LUCK

I guess the whole "trailer in

I guess the whole "trailer in a mobile park" really had nothing to do with the story. My bad. Threw everyone off. There is something there though. I guess I should find another "Venting Forum" for women who let their ex's off without making them pay child support and take what money they were paying for rent in the marital dwelling and pocket it all. Another Long Sad Story

The state of SO's daughter

The state of SO's daughter should not have any bearing on the relationship ... if... and it is a BIG if.... your SO writes her off and focuses on the relationship rather than facilitating her daughters poor choices.

For all practical purposes your SO is pimping her daughter out to this guy as the "house".

Until she does something about her daughter and the "penis" I for sure would not be investing much of myself, my time, or my resources into this relationship if I were you.

You brushed over your own 30yo daughter living with you in your home other than to say you have set the rule that she can't have any sleepovers in your home. Does your SO have issue with your daughter living with you?

Just curious.

Good luck.

Right Answer !!! I am going

Right Answer !!! I am going to let my SO know(lol....like GF better) that I am not comfortable at her "Dwelling" whilst she allow her daughter to have sleep overs. I know she is going to be upset, but, I am not going over to her home until DD moves out. (suppose to be moving in a month) I must have had some strange parents as they would have never and I mean never let one of my girl friends spend several or even one night at there house. Not sure why no one out there seems to get that ???
My daughter, TOTALLY different story, no not cause she's my daughter, but, yes, in some respects but, she is part of the opioid epidemic. She is a recovering addict. I am sooooo looking forward to her getting her license back , working 40hrs a wk (now working 24hrs a wk) and buying a car (on her own and not one of my old cars or me giving her the money ....again)and moving out !!!. She has been doing well, my daughter. She goes to AA meetings with my son (who I had to almost evict from my home 2yrs ago) who is also struggling with addiction (alcohol).
She has her sons over every weekend 4yrs and 8yrs to make certain that I don't have tooo peaceful a time on my 2 days off a week. Kidding, a little, Love my grandsons , just not every and I mean every weekend !! UUUGGGHHHHH
But, ya, I get a kick out of everyone on here , this site, they start going off on me about you have a daughter with you and bla bla bla not having a clue what is going on. I guess I need to keep it as simple as possible on here for a lot of people. I know the whole story in my head and then write some snippets and think people can see inside my head......lol
But thanks for not jumping to conclussions here. I think I hit a nerve with people who do let their children walk all over them. They just don't want to be reminded of it !!!
And, and this is a very BIG AND, My GF talks to and enjoys talking to my children. My ex lives in Alaska so, my GF has taken on kind of a surrogate mother roll. To be honest, which I always try to be, my daughter is a giant pain in the ass. She is contra to anything I say to her. We have good moments but, bottom line.....adult children should NOT be living with their parents. My GF and I totally agree on that......at least.

Lol. Adult children should

Lol. Adult children should not be living with their parents.

I resemble that remark. I am 54 and my wife and I live in upstairs in my parent's house.

We use my parent's as our home of record when we are on Expat assignment and are between assignments. My wife has been here for over a year and I have been here on and off for 6+ months.

My parents probably would not have issue with me having GFs over when I was a young man. However, they raised me with behavioral standards and I would never have tested that theory. I respected them and myself to much to even try.

Take care of you and I hope your DD continues to be successful in her recovery.

Good luck.

Call me a snob but I will

Call me a snob but I will never date some one living in a trailer.......

In general... I can

In general... I can understand that because of the stereotypical picture it paints of the person.

But... I actually am currently living in a trailer..lol. It is kind of a long story..but in a nutshell, we own several homes in places not close to my work (near my DH's parents... in the country and on an island). My DH was going to be working out of state for months at a time and he worried about me living over an hour from work in a remote place... so we bought 4 acres within 10 miles of my job. His move out of state was really close..so we figured we would put the least expensive temporary home on the lot since we wanted it done before he left. Temporary because we do have other land we could move a trailer to .. or sell it.. if we wanted to replace it with a more permanent home.. or when I retired, it could be moved and this valuable lot close to town could be free for someone else to build THEIR permanent home.

We have zero intention of living permanently near town in this city.. so this was the most cost effective way to live here and still get tax breaks for the real estate/home.

As far as trailers go.. it is a luxury model. All drywall and molding trim inside. three bedrooms and two full baths (one with a garden tub plus a shower) with a laundry room.

It isn't built as nicely as a permanent home (cheaper materials).. but it is about 1200 square feet so it is roomy enough for one full time and one part time person for sure.

I will admit, I am probably not the typical person who lives in a trailer.. and it's NOT in a mobile home park..lol.

Though.. in Florida.. mobile home parks are sometimes fairly common as retirement communities and they aren't so bad there either.

We are considering a Modular

We are considering a Modular home as our next home. In Texas Mobile homes are titled differently than site built homes. Modular homes are built in manufactured home factories but have engineering stamps that when placed on a permanent foundation make them deeded real estate rather than titled property.

We will go with a 6/12 or greater pitched roof and rock or brick the exterior (include a masonry step on the foundation) and include a deep integrated patio completely around the structure with a pitched roof that integrates into the structure roof. We will do rock columns around the patio.

So... it will not look different than site built homes, it will be deeded as a site built home, construction will take 8wks instead of 8mos and it will cost about 60% of an identical site built home.

My first home was a trailer. My XW and I bought it and put in on the married student mobile home park. My next 5homes have all been site built. All had odd dimensional issues from the variances that occur in site built homes. (bowed walls, non square joints, gaps where cabinets were attached to walls due to non vertical walls, etc, etc, etc...).

Frame pack homes where the walls are framed in a factory tend to be far better as far as being true compared to site built. Modular takes that quality of construction to an even higher state.

And... they are completely customizable.

How about a storage unit ???

How about a storage unit ??? My nephew did that for a little while. People live where they live. They're some really nice mobile homes out there. I lived in one with my ex for 4yrs back when it was a deal. Now, you spend as much as if you were buying a home.
How about a tent ?? Would you date someone living in a tent ?? My buddy did and now she's been living with him for 7yrs. In a house, hold it , no, a modular home. You know , comes in two halves and they bolt them together. Would you live in a modular ??
I think once you spent the night with me , you'd live most anywhere just to be near me........LOL But, really isn't that what it is all about.??
Oh and you would not be sooo snobby I'm sure about going up north where I have 20acres in the middle of no where to stay in my "trailer" up there. It is surrounded by Oak trees and Jack Pine. So peaceful and quiet you could hear a pin drop when you are there. Especially right now. In the dead of winter. Absolutely beautiful up there !!! You would love it !!! What time do you want me pic you up ??
OOOPPPSSS Thought you were a woman ?? Oh well, any women reading this, offer still applies !!!!

no.... still a snob... and

no.... still a snob... and dear I am way more woman then what you will be able to handle...

Hold up... y'all have been

Hold up... y'all have been together 8 years? Still living apart? Man, your GF must have more balls than I originally thought. Good for her. This is such a serious double standard on your part. Once your daughter moves out you and you two are living together you can have a say in what goes on in the joint household, until then... be happy your GF keeps you around.

AAAANNNNTTTTT Wrong Answer

AAAANNNNTTTTT Wrong Answer !!!
We haven't married or would live under the same roof because I, not my GF , refuses to be under the same roof as DD.
But thanks for coming up with your own unrelated story. Me Yawning !!!

Right, 8 years and no ring.

Right, 8 years and no ring. Good for her for putting up with you.

Can't blame her for not wanting to live with an addict. It's great that you saved your daughter from prison by being her in house parole officer, but once again- glass houses and stones and all... you can't judge her daughter for being a little whorey when your daughter almost spent 5 years in prison for drugs.

what do you mean, 8 years and

:jawdrop: :jawdrop: what do you mean, 8 years and no ring....

I'm going for 15 years, no ring, been living past 6 years apart..... not all woman wants that ring you know, I like my independence allot, not going to take a ring in any way or form. Might be moving back together but only after the house is sold and we bought a new one..

While I'm sure it's difficult

While I'm sure it's difficult for you to put up with her adult daughter living at home (and now with a BF).. ultimately, it is her home and her decision. This is just the same as your own decision to let an adult child live with you.

The fact that you find her daughter annoying or that you think your GF babies her is basically a reflection of how your girlfriend parents. It is quite unlikely to change and in fact the fact that she is such a caring person.. it is probably something you like about her.. but only when it affects you and not her daughter.

Unfortunately, with your own live in child, it's a bit tough to try to lay down the law on your GF.. because you are allowing a similar situation.

Your options at this point are to probably spend less time together at her home since you don't like her room mate. maybe have her to your place more... though perhaps she harbors similar feelings about your kid?

Here was my decision to let

Here was my decision to let my Adult Daughter live with me. "Hello, is this A's father ?? Yes, ok well your daughter is part of the drug court program and needs a place to live otherwise she is going to prison for 5yrs." I said "Yes,She can live with me."
My conversation with the MDOC

Reason doesn't matter really.

Reason doesn't matter really. In fact, you could say that you are coddling your off the rails child instead of making her fully and all on her own responsible for her poor choices.

Hopefully she has gotten clean.. but your saving her in this situation may mean she hasn't fully learned her lesson.

Honestly, not sure how you really have much room to make judgement on her daughter when you raised a drug addict. Not a lot of moral high ground there.

AAAANNNNTTTTT Wrong

AAAANNNNTTTTT Wrong Answer,
I know , you just needed to randomly vent incoherently !!! Point not taken !! Carry on or get carried away. Which ever you prefer.

haha.. unfortunately, you

haha.. unfortunately, you don't get to decide whether my opinion is "right" or "wrong".

You are allowing your child to live with you because the alternative was being incarcerated because of drugs. That is a pretty strong indicator that she was/is abusing drugs.. that the law wanted to lock her up.

That means that at some point, she went off the rails... sooooo...yeah.. don't claim higher moral grounds over your girlfriend's daughter when your OWN daughter apparently did not do such a great job of "adulting" herself. Neither of you are the poster child for parents with children well prepared and launched into life. (Now I personally have two SD's with zero substance issues that live 100% financially self sufficient out of our home).

Bottom line, no one is forcing you to spend any time at your girl friend's house. If you don't like going there because it's a trashy trailer with her daughter and slackard boyfriend, you don't have to go there. But, it doesn't seem you have a lot of room to crow to her about how she should raise her child differently when your own child has come home to roost under less than auspicious circumstances.