Not getting along with Stepson
Hi, I found this forum because I need someone to talk to. I have been married to my DH for almost 17yrs. We have 2 daughters, and DH has to sons from previous relationships. One of my SS has been with us and a part of our family most of our marriage, and I have always had a good relationship with him. But there is a problem with my other SS. When DH and I were dating, both boys were able to be with us EOW. They were 6 and 1 at the time. For some reason mother of the younger son said we would no longer be able to see DH's son because she didn't feel it was fair to her son to have to go to our home EOW. and that her BF at the time would be the Dad that son would know as Dad. and if we tried to interfere with what her and her mother they would get a lawyer and and make sure we would never see son again. They had no right to do this and my DH was always a good father to Son for the one yr. they let us be with son. and we didn't have the means back then to get a lawyer and take BM to court. So many years went by and we never had any contact with the son, because of the BM. BM passed away a few years ago and son was left with StepDad, to make a long story short, stepdad eventually marries another woman and DH's son cant stand to live with them anymore, so son finds me on FB and and we become friends and get to know him and eventually meet with him after almost 16 yrs. of no contact with him. My DH and I and our daughters were thrilled finally to be with DH's son once again. We all got along well for a while, but things have been going down hill between SS and me. I have to continually be the one who has to tell SS to clean up after himself, and tell him to do better in school. take car of his cars etc. My DH does say things to son but has a hard time telling son to be what he should be doing, because he's afraid son will leave. So it's all on my shoulders. and now son's GF is against us and are the grandparents of SS. Grandmother has always been against us, and she has no reason to be, but she was a part of him being kept from us for many years. I feel like I'm being the bad person here. Help, this is becoming a freaking circus
has a hard time telling son
has a hard time telling son to be what he should be doing, because he's afraid son will leave
As hard as it is, your DH needs to stop being held captive emotionally. If the son leaves because your DH is being a parent, then so be it. He obviously just wants a place to stay and not a dad.
That is what I have been
That is what I have been thinking to, son doesn't like being parented by us then he should leave, he is 18 and still in HS, but I feel to that this is just a place for him to sleep and park his cars, rather than his home. He leaves for school in the morning at 6:45 am and doesn't come home till 10:30 or sometimes later. he works partime during the day, but is done by 4:30pm. then he stays in town by GP so he can be with them and GF. He hardly does anything with this family, most of the time he is with GF and GP. Sometimes I feel very used by him. I feel bad For DH because he has wanted to be with son for so long, but it is getting to the point where I'm ready to tell son, I love you son, but you got to go, and don't let the door hit ya in the butt when you leave!
After he graduates from
After he graduates from school, I'm thinking that is what will happen, that he will live by GP. I can't take this, it's really beginning to wear on me..lol, I'm a very strong person, but this has been really hard..lately