I recently wrote about DH's secret FB account. His reason was that I didn't share pictures of grandskids with him when SD posted them. I probably would have shared them if they appeared on my page but mysteriously, they didn't. Long and short, SD and DH became FB friends, I found out, asked DH about it and then the fun began. When I dare suggest that SD had control of who could see her pictures and postings, DH said that it was I who probably deleted them.

The past week has been the worst of my married life, we have barely talked, much less been civil. Of course, this is my fault because when I tried to talk to him about the triangulation of our marriage (per my therapist) and how family members are concerned about our marriage because of SD's actions, I was told that I was an F'n snake.

Last night we tried to talk again and I calmly told DH that I didn't appreciate his emotional and verbal abuse. DH suggested that he, of course, would not have to be this way if I didn't always start things. I told him that I could understand how his codependent relationship with SD developed. While BM was sick, DH and SD became even closer, and after her death the two of them created more of an inseperable bond. When I gave examples to DH of codependency his response to me was, what am I supposed to do,she doesn't have a mother? I'm not a cold fish, I understand how it must be, but BM passed away 12 years ago when SD was an adult and had her own family. I know there is pain for everyone involved but maybe it's about time that SD seek counseling to address the pain she keeps deep inside and learn to have a healthier relationship with DH rather than be the mini wife.

I then told DH that as his wife I want to be respected and he wanted to know what I meant. He always asks for examples so I told him that when SD asks him to babysit that he just say "let me check with xxxx to see if we have any plans and get back to you." This is what he tells SS when he asks if we can babysit. His response was that he would have no problem if I told my children that we could babysit without asking him if we had plans. He also said that I just wanted control.

I also asked DH why he treated SS so differently, they rarely talk, DH criticizes SS often, and as SS once told me, their relationship is what it is. DH said that he holds SS up to higher standards. By the way, SS is a succesful man, both professionally and as husband and father, other than SS wishing DH had never remarried, I have no issues with him.

DH and I were supposed to go to the weekend place today. Needless to say, I am home alone. Before DH left, he hemmed and hawed while I worked around the house. He finally came to me to tell me he was leaving and I said, be safe.

I don't know that our marriage can survive this latest episode. DH will always feel the need to protect and take care of SD no matter what. On a side note, DH is no longer friends with SD on FB, I can just imagine how that conversation went.