news from the front
Last night my older grandchild's mother called me. We hadn't talked in over a year. She and SS don't live together, were never married and share custody. She had a lot to say but mostly was disgusted by the my steps have dragged their kids into our trust battle. In fact, my SS told my granddaughter she was not allowed to speak to me until he was 18. In addition, I learned that the main issue they have with the trust is that my husband left me the money. There is not a great deal of money and they will inherit both properties when I die. They had fully expected my husband to leave them the money for the college education of their children! My husband NEVER talked to me about this. Occasionally I would hear him on the phone to them talking about a college fund, but he never instructed me to give the kids money or that X amount of money was meant for a college fund. Boy, am I pissed!
Greedy effing skids piss me
Greedy effing skids piss me off. My DH's son thinks he's getting everything in our house when his dad passes. WRONG.
Sell the property....Spend as
Sell the property....Spend as much as you want and whatever is left when you die, they can have. But, I would make every opportunity to spend it and enjoy life. My BM is spending my inheritance traveling the world. That is how it should be. We can make our own way in this world and if we can't, then shame on us.
fdh and i aren't married, but
fdh and i aren't married, but i'm the sole beneficiary on his life insurance. at one time, i thought that if he passed first, i would give something to sd19. i no longer feel that way. i am the one building a life with him, not her. she won't be getting a damn thing.
Haha, yep! My skids will have
Haha, yep! My skids will have to depend on my sunny dispostion to get anything out of me if DH dies first. In other words, ain't happening.
You'd think so, wouldn't you?
You'd think so, wouldn't you? They really are that stupid. Oh well, they can be greedy when their mother dies. Unless HER husband outlives her...buahaha.
Whimsey, I've often thought
Whimsey, I've often thought the same thing about their stupidity in mistreating us. I don't understand any of it. I wish the houses didn't go to them. I wish he had left me one as he had promised and that I could sell it and get the hell out of here. Instead, I just get to manage the properties. I've changed beneficiaries on what money he left me and will likely change them again. I'm really trying to figure out what charity I'd leave it to. They will not get a dime.
I'm glad the mother of one of
I'm glad the mother of one of your stepgrandchildren at least acknowledged the greed the steps are showing. You being by yourself and thinking all this through alone, I'm sure this was some affirmation to your sanity! Right now, two of my steps are out of the will. DH thinks maybe he will give their share to the grandchildren that we are not allowed to see. It isn't thier fault their mothers are nuts! Just a thought. Parents aren't going to see a dime though. Most of those "dimes" were earned by me anyway.
However, I wouldn't discuss
However, I wouldn't discuss it even with her who is apparently a little disengaged. What is she to you? Nothing. Her sympathy will either turn to spite later, be a trick to suck you into giving out information, rub salt in your wounds or otherwise besmirch your life with irrelevant nonsense. It is tempting to get enmeshed with this sort of person but I would say avoid avoid avoid.
I agree with Poodle.
I agree with Poodle.
That BM has her own reasons
That BM has her own reasons for contacting you and you probably should trust her about as far as you can throw her.
To be fair, if you overheard your DH discussing college funds with his children, then you know they did not just come out of left field with this.
However, sadly, your DH passed before making the arrangements he promised to both his children and his wife.
If you wish, you could point out to the children that Dad did not get around to making 529 or Coverdell accounts. Not that it wasn't important, for whatever reason Dad just didn't do it. No need to go over with them that he was going to leave one of the houses to you.
That's just the reality of the situation. Dad didn't take care of things properly so now you all must muddle along in this hellish situation.
Can you just stop talking to them? Get an intermediary for trust-related issues if necessary?
Don't worry your pretty
Don't worry your pretty little head about it. Most parents are well aware what 529's and Coverdells are, if they are concerned about saving for college. It's not really difficult to figure out.
Maybe I should avoid my
Maybe I should avoid my grandchild's mom. But frankly, I learned some important things from that conversation. We were never allowed to like her because SS hated her. It's all so confusing. I will not be sending anything to granddaughter to SS's address because I am afraid he is intercepting her mail from me. I will never be best friends with granddaughter's mom, and I don't think she was looking for information, although I could be wrong. My husband's kids called him ALL the time about the trust. I tried not to pay any attention because of our own conversations about the trust. Nowhere is it mentioned in any of the documents that the money was intended for college educations! In fact, he specifically told me several times that the money would be left to me and it was. That he intended to leave one of the houses to me is mentioned, but they have chosen to ignore that and it is not a legal document. They get both houses! For god's sake, isn't that enough?! I am mostly communicating with SD and SS via my atty. They are both such bullies and I want no more direct communication with them.