Update on SD22...her 80-year-old grandmother had words with her last night. She was told that she's a BAD GIRL. She told her grandma that I'm a homewrecker.

A homewrecker.

Um, this is MY HOME...not hers. I am just mystified. Where does this crap come from? She makes twice what I do, and expects to move in and live rent-free. When she doesn't get her way, she incites her drunken brothers to come to our house and threaten my husband. Excuse me, but WTF??

I can't even wrap my brain around this insanity.

I like your screen name, too!

DH seems to be getting better; we went to a counselling session last night. He agreed that his kids are awful to me. That's a big step from the "oh, get over it. they're kids" routine that he did for the longest time.

There ARE new extenuating circumstances, though. Saturday morning brought the police, and restraining orders (called PFAs in PA...protection from abuse) were filed against the skids AND the BM yesterday. It's ugly.

I'll try to find the time to post a detailed story later (yes, another novel).

Well, Saturday the 30th brought MUCH more drama. SD22 was asked for about a week to come and get her belongings (she started moving some small things in, anticipating that DH would let her live here rent-free). She called in the morning, and said she was coming to get her stuff. DH specifically told her NOT to bring her brothers. She could bring a friend, or come alone and he would help her, but absolutely NO SS20 and SS18. Well, at about 11:15, SD, both SSs, AND THEIR MOTHER (!) show up. They were immediately asked to leave, and then ordered to leave. They refused. They kept going in and out of my garage and basement, breaking MY things on the driveway as they went. The police were called, and of course did nothing but stand there. My life was threatened by both of the boys, SD threatened to "kick my a$$", as did BM...they were all screaming filth (F- you, you C-, etc). It was SO ugly. The BM is a school bus driver, and, as you may have already guessed, her route is my street. She stood in my front yard, screaming and swearing and threatening, as all the kids she drives every morning were out riding their bikes and playing. Nice. Also, my neighbor is trying to sell his house, and the realtor had people there at this particular time. Ugh. BM decided it was smart to go and tell the prospective buyers that they shouldn't buy the house, they don't want to live next to us, etc. etc. Unbelievable.

So, DH has filed a restraining order, and I have filed harrassment charges. I am very concerned about our safety. These people are CRAZY.

Well, SS18 was arrested and cited for underage drinking last night...as he was walking into the PROM!

I guess his date will always have an evening to remember.

In addition, he will NOT be permitted to participate in graduation.

DH is in court this morning. Please keep a good thought for us. He is very worried and nervous that the judge will not continue the PFA order. BM and skids have all stated that HE came at THEM. Yeah right, on OUR property, where they were trespassing and refusing to leave.

This is a disaster.

DH was not standing by me originally. He is now. I know it's more like damage control, but he's there. It's SO hard for him...it breaks my heart to see him in so much pain, but he is taking the necessary steps.

He truly believed that he was doing the best for his kids. I really can't fault him for that. He knows now that it was not the right thing to do (guilt parenting). He has a valid point, though, that a NC parent has very little choice if they want to see their kids at all. Either give them what they want, or they say "take me home". His kids, unfortunately, played him like a fiddle for years. Change is hard.

My kids, who are VERY perceptive, see that it's a mess. I honestly don't believe that they would EVER think that this crap is acceptable behavior.

I know. It's scary. We are doing everything possible to ensure our safety.

A paper doesn't really do much, but it DOES let the police know that we mean business...up to now, they've just been standing by, doing nothing. Unfortunately, in my little town, that's how they handle "domestics". They simply don't want to get involved.

It's all my fault once again, apparently. I should have gone easier on his daughter (translation-I should have been willing to support her and her 2-year-old). Then she wouldn't have incited her brothers to threaten and harass and assault and etc. NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME!

And my son, who admittedly is very lazy and pretty much just takes up space for the summer, has to go. Being a college student isn't enough. He should be up at the crack of dawn, working two jobs, cleaning the house top to bottom every day, and volunteering as well. And he must get a haircut. All of this is critical, of course, and was brought to my attention Thursday morning at 6:30-7am, as I was getting ready for work (even though I was VERY ill and should have stayed home, but I had a meeting I couldn't miss).

Of course, we can't discuss his kids' behaviors, the threats to my life, the trespassing, the underage drinking. And when his son lived with us, the girls that he picked up God-knows-where that spent the night, the stench of his absolutely FILTHY room, the fact that he never lifted one finger to help around the house, yet ate me out of house and home (I kid you not...you have NEVER seen anyone eat so much. He ate 4 (FOUR) new york strip steaks one night, then complained that he had an upset stomach, and that something was wrong with the meat), etc. No. The poor dears are the products of divorce. Yeah, so are my kids. Helllllooooooo.

Ugh. I am sooooooooo exhausted. Does it actually get better for longer than a few weeks? I still can't sleep without waking up twenty times a night; I'm frightened for me and my kids. This is NOT what I expected. I need peace.

I know that my son needs some motivation. I realize that his issues are not helping the situation. Maybe he's afraid, too. Teenage boys aren't exactly great at expressing their emotions.

DS19 is an "odd duck" and always has been. I think he struggles with figuring out where he fits in. And he IS lazy. I do admit that.

I have asked DH to help me get DS19 on track. He tells me that it's my job.

Yeah, you're right. I gave SS20 a car, I got SS18 a job. I babysat many many times for SS23. I fed them. I took care of them. I made them lunches. I was horrible. I'm a F***ing C***, just like they screamed at me. I should just keep my mouth shut and let them kill me, like they threatened. It'd be so much better for all of us.

Thanks.

What a GREAT idea! Next time the skids come pounding on my door at 1:30am, disrupting the whole neighborhood, calling my husband out, and drunkenly chanting that my marriage is over, I'll just pretend that they're dead. And, next time they assault my husband, and vandalize my home, and threaten me and my family, I'll just ignore them. Who needs a pesky restraining order? To hell with those silly harassment charges!

:::::::::slaps self on forehead:::::::::::::::

Why didn't I think of that??

...which is why I don't do it. There's also a restraining order preventing them from contacting us anymore, thank God. The only argument I've EVER had with them was the one with SD23 about paying some rent to live here, since she's an RN and makes a VERY comfortable living, yet expected to live rent-free and be supported by daddy and ME. I had and still have a problem with that.

I also don't nag DH constantly, actually not at all...I have no idea how you inferred THAT. HE was nagging ME about my son. I say nothing about his kids since I was told not to (by DH, certainly not by you).

Addicted to drama? Hmm...interesting how you're making judgements about someone you don't know; about a situation that you clearly haven't a clue. Actually, I am addicted to the peace that I had before this all started, and I'm having withdrawals.

I'm done here.