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lazy sd without mom support

uniccco's picture

Submitted by uniccco on Thu, 05/16/2013 - 1:21am

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Adult Stepchildren

SD is 20 lazy just quit her job after 4 weeks expect mom to giveher eeverything when I married mom she required children to do little or nothing at 20 and these days and times work ethics should be taught early I am ready to put her out she ask for soap tampons everything she should be providing for herself I ask for no rent in the past but now I will she does no chores and sits around unless told to do something and her family pulls her strings because I am not the biological father this makes me angry with my wife for not stepping in what should I do

littleladybug's picture

Submitted by littleladybug on Thu, 05/16/2013 - 8:52am

Give her a deadline date that she has to move out. Out by July 1, for example. If adult offspring are not in college full time or working part time/college part time then they should be out on their own making their own way in life.

always wrong's picture

Submitted by always wrong on Fri, 07/12/2013 - 12:29pm

I agree with littleladybug, give her a deadline to get a job and pay rent or get the heck out of the house then stick to it! I had this happen last year with SD20. Didn't want to work, we were paying for her apartment/room share while she went to a trade school. (school was only 4 hours a day). Told SD she had to get a job to help pay for her own needs, gas, food, etc. SD ignored our requests, didn't find a job. We stopped paying her rent and she had to move in with us. She lasted a week in our house before DH told her she had to move out.

Tell your wife that you are apart of the family and that you deserve to be treated with respect, whether the kid is yours or not, you blended families and that gives you pull in your home. Your SD is 20, it's time to grow up. She is not a child even if she acts like one. Pull out a "lease" for SD to continue living in the house. Make her sign it. We did this with my SD. It included things like keeping common areas clean, having respect for everyone who lives in the house, must work, etc. It was also written in there that we would revisit the lease on a monthly basis and if something was not being followed, she would have to move out. While it didn't work the entire time, it did work for most of the time. Your wife is not helping the situation, just making a lazy adult with no work ethic!

beepysee's picture

Submitted by beepysee on Sat, 07/13/2013 - 6:03am

i have had advice from people on this site to my problem which is just like yours

i think i already knew what i had to do but seeing it come from other people helped to get on and do it.

talk to wife first. calm not angry. you both want a happy home? ask her how you go about getting one.

you dont put up with lazy crap from anyone you share a home with. every one should consider others. 20 is an adult. she should pay something to household costs and do her share of chores.

mum loves the 20? throwing her out or deadlines to go wont work so best fix the problem, get house rules so evryone knows what is expected, family discussion to set the rules rather than seeming like an angry bully.

talk to your wife, ask to draw a line and look to the future, something must change and you will all be better for it. dont put up with the same old crap - do something about it and do it calmly