Thanks Granny, we were hoping that her mother would take her back but after we told them about the rule we had about her not staying with us if ever she got pregnant or did drugs, we heard that they took her old bed out of her room and turned her old room into an office! I think she's got a lot of friends who can help her, she lived with one for a week when she got kicked out the first time by her mom. But her being pregnant and not driving makes it a bit more complicated.

But now that the weather is clearing up and spring is coming, we're probably going to get her driving lessons so she can finally get her license. Gosh, is it even a good idea for her to take driving lessons while she is pregnant?

Thanks Foxie, I haven't thought of that. She does have a lot of friends I think who might be able to help her... but they are not all the ideal type of people. I'll try looking into those programs.

Ugh...I know, she is not the worst kid in the world but I do hope her child would turn out a lot smarter than her. I work here at home so me babysitting would definitely be a problem so at least I have that excuse.

Yes! Thanks for reminding me. I feel like the boy has been having an easier ride so far though his parents have been going to her doctor appointments and give her some money. But the boy goes to college, and goes about his business... my husband wants him to "suffer" or have more accountability. He goes to school though full time and I don't think he works so we have to figure out what he needs to do in terms of child support.

Yes! Thanks for reminding me. I feel like the boy has been having an easier ride so far though his parents have been going to her doctor appointments and give her some money. But the boy goes to college, and goes about his business... my husband wants him to "suffer" or have more accountability. He goes to school though full time and I don't think he works so we have to figure out what he needs to do in terms of child support.

Thanks AVR1962 for the advice. My husband has always been in their lives for both emotional and financial support. They always say that they feel closer to him than they do to their mother and I think it's because my husband is a very calm and logical person who is capable of listening and giving good advice before judging. Their mother is somewhat of a scatterbrain, illogical, a bit ditsy and very dramatic and they kids find it hard to communicate negative feelings towards her. Actually, SD is very much like her mother...how do you reason or argue logically with somebody who is illogical in the first place?? It is like talking to a wall. Over the years in dealing with their mother, I learned to kill her with kindness and just stay out of arguments because it is just no use forcing your point or reason on somebody who has none.

Which is why I think her being reaching her bottom and getting her out of comfort zone forces her to do the right things. I remember when we took her in after she was kicked out that she started doing a lot of the right things, things she wouldn't do before like reading self help books and being nice to me. Then when she found her comfort level again and was in good terms again with her mother, she started being rude to me again. My husband does a great job at not having his kids be a burden on me and believes that I shouldn't be. However, he can be too calm and I am just the opposite where I worry about everything which includes his kids. While he does remind her that she needs to respect me in order for her to stay here, I am fed up with this cycle with her.... she gets threatened out of comfort zone, she does the right things, finds her comfort zone then starts going back to her old ways. I think that she knows that everybody can put up with her so she will always go back to her old ways.

Thanks somerg, yes I am at that point where I believe she has to be knocked out of her comfort zone so that she can learn to help herself.