Karma is a wonderful thing. I hope that one day the skids are divorced and become stepmoms themselves to Skids like themselves. Nothing would be sweeter- oh sweet revenge.
It's funny you say that because I am pretty sure I gave my SM holy hell. Looking back I can now see how some of the stuff she dealt with had to drive her batty! While I would have dealt with some of the blended issues differently, I can NOW as a SM see some of what she was up against and it is not pretty. I imagine her living her life (we don't speak) wishing or hoping I never had to be in shoes similar to hers...yet here I am.
It almost makes me want to reach out to her for advice on how she managed some of the things that went on in our house.
So, yes, as a firm believer in karma, I am pretty sure some of the crap I am dealing with now is coming back to bite me in the butt because of it.
If only someone would have warned me!
That said, I wouldn't wish being a SM on my SD...that's just foul to wish that on another person...LOL!
Over_that_tude.I think if I were you I would go to your SM and make things right with her. If she hurt you then maybe she will say she is sorry .Maybe yall can start a new realationship.If you cant then at least you would feel better knowing you now see your mistakes and wipe the slate clean on your part.
Lady - I get what you are saying as far as attempting to make things right. I am sure there is room for alot of healing. Yes, she and her son caused alot of pain and anguish to me and my dad. However, because of the dynamics surrounding my dad's illness and quick death, I am not at a place of reaching out. She isn't the type of person to say she is sorry. She isn't the type of person to tell the truth, it is always in her favor and to her advantage. I still keep in touch with her family that has little to do with her because of who she is.
As an adult (married with my own children) I saw this regularly and subsequently moved away to another state for a fresh start. A part of the move was also hoping to free my dad of is being a "guilty dad" and in hopes of allowing them to live their lives with me and my children 2700 mls away. I kept in touch with my dad, visited them both and always asked about her or spoke with her when calling and she answered the phone. Can't say her sorry assed son did the sam. Nope, he/they had him on the breast at 40+ yrs old and now that my dad is gone they are from what I understand living together happily.
While I can empathize with her position as a SM and choosing to marry a widower with a child under the age of 13, I feel nothing for her per se. I simply wouldn't wish being a SM on anyone and I know I wasn't the easiest child to have in her life as I'd just watched my mother die a long and painful death and she presented herself very very shortly (knew my mother) thereafter. I blame my dad for his part in it but he and I resolved our issues a long time ago and on his own he realized many years ago the mistake he made and the damage that was done.
I get the gist of your post and I appreciate it. Maybe one day before it's too late I can approach her and hash some of the mess out but for now. I'll just stay in my lane.
Absolutely, I'm sure not all are hideous but i believe 99% are, the stepmoms that have the other 1%, you are truly blessed.I have educated my daughter never ever get involved with a man with children as your life will be miserable, she knows to ask the question, do you have children, oh yes I do, well see ya later and meet some other poor unsuspecting naive soul you can screw over, and fcuk her life up , but not mine my mother warned me about men like you- blood sucking soul leeches -lol
I don't know about "karma" per se, but I do know I will never forget the first time I met my father's long-term SO, who he had been living with for years already.
I finally went to their new home for the first time and while there my dad asked if I was hungry. I said yes. She offered to make me something to eat and proceeded to go into the kitchen and bang pots and pans around like she was Julia Child. My dad tried to lighten it up by saying what a good cook she was, and I would really like what she would make ...
After awhile, she came out and slapped a plate down in front of me with an evil grin on her face. It contained (among other things) tuna fish, fruit cocktail, onions, and other unidentifiable foodstuff mixed with some kind of sloppy sauce. Then she stood there, waiting for me to eat it. No human being would eat such a mess, let alone a shy 11 year old kid who was visiting for the first time and had never even met her before.
When I said I could not eat it, she immediately started bitching about how she spent all that time making it and I darn well better eat it. My dad knew I would vomit if I tried, so in order to appease her, he said, "Well, it won't go to waste, I'll eat it!" How he managed to stomach it amazes me to this day.
After this wonderful introduction, she then sent along a bag of clothes she thought I might like the next time he visited me. When I opened it up later, I saw it contained threadbare worn out crap including her old girdles and underwear. When my mother saw it, she was about ready to hunt her down and kill her - no lie.
Needless to say, their relationship didn't last a lot longer after that. The last I heard she wound up living an embittered life, alone. No surprise there.
Oh, and I forgot to add ... my experience with that woman (and eventually, my dad's second wife as well) did shape how I perceived SMs and shaped how I behave in that kind of role.
Needless to say, I have never done anything so purposely cruel to my SO's kids. Even during their teen years, I never stooped to any antics like that.
So I guess if there was any good that came out of it, it was me learning how NOT to behave and remember what it felt like to be the kid - especially in the beginning.
Maybe the SM was one of those that give us a bad ame. The majority of SM go out of their way to be nice and include the skids. Maybe if I got in touch with my bitchy side the first time i met my skids I wouldn't be having issues with these revengeful loosers. Human nature and those capable of using people will always see a person who is nice as weak.
SA, just curious, if one of your SD's got married, would you go to the wedding? I am trying to find one of your posts you wrote about giving one of your SD's thousands of dollars last year (I read on the train and then try to come back to posts, lol). I wanted to ask you why you and DH give her this kind of money at her age? Or does DH just give her money without your consent??
It's funny you say that
It's funny you say that because I am pretty sure I gave my SM holy hell. Looking back I can now see how some of the stuff she dealt with had to drive her batty! While I would have dealt with some of the blended issues differently, I can NOW as a SM see some of what she was up against and it is not pretty. I imagine her living her life (we don't speak) wishing or hoping I never had to be in shoes similar to hers...yet here I am.
It almost makes me want to reach out to her for advice on how she managed some of the things that went on in our house.
So, yes, as a firm believer in karma, I am pretty sure some of the crap I am dealing with now is coming back to bite me in the butt because of it.
If only someone would have warned me!
That said, I wouldn't wish being a SM on my SD...that's just foul to wish that on another person...LOL!
Over_that_tude.I think if I
Over_that_tude.I think if I were you I would go to your SM and make things right with her. If she hurt you then maybe she will say she is sorry .Maybe yall can start a new realationship.If you cant then at least you would feel better knowing you now see your mistakes and wipe the slate clean on your part.
Lady - I get what you are
Lady - I get what you are saying as far as attempting to make things right. I am sure there is room for alot of healing. Yes, she and her son caused alot of pain and anguish to me and my dad. However, because of the dynamics surrounding my dad's illness and quick death, I am not at a place of reaching out. She isn't the type of person to say she is sorry. She isn't the type of person to tell the truth, it is always in her favor and to her advantage. I still keep in touch with her family that has little to do with her because of who she is.
As an adult (married with my own children) I saw this regularly and subsequently moved away to another state for a fresh start. A part of the move was also hoping to free my dad of is being a "guilty dad" and in hopes of allowing them to live their lives with me and my children 2700 mls away. I kept in touch with my dad, visited them both and always asked about her or spoke with her when calling and she answered the phone. Can't say her sorry assed son did the sam. Nope, he/they had him on the breast at 40+ yrs old and now that my dad is gone they are from what I understand living together happily.
While I can empathize with her position as a SM and choosing to marry a widower with a child under the age of 13, I feel nothing for her per se. I simply wouldn't wish being a SM on anyone and I know I wasn't the easiest child to have in her life as I'd just watched my mother die a long and painful death and she presented herself very very shortly (knew my mother) thereafter. I blame my dad for his part in it but he and I resolved our issues a long time ago and on his own he realized many years ago the mistake he made and the damage that was done.
I get the gist of your post and I appreciate it. Maybe one day before it's too late I can approach her and hash some of the mess out but for now. I'll just stay in my lane.
Absolutely, I'm sure not all
Absolutely, I'm sure not all are hideous but i believe 99% are, the stepmoms that have the other 1%, you are truly blessed.I have educated my daughter never ever get involved with a man with children as your life will be miserable, she knows to ask the question, do you have children, oh yes I do, well see ya later and meet some other poor unsuspecting naive soul you can screw over, and fcuk her life up , but not mine my mother warned me about men like you- blood sucking soul leeches -lol
I don't know about "karma"
I don't know about "karma" per se, but I do know I will never forget the first time I met my father's long-term SO, who he had been living with for years already.
I finally went to their new home for the first time and while there my dad asked if I was hungry. I said yes. She offered to make me something to eat and proceeded to go into the kitchen and bang pots and pans around like she was Julia Child. My dad tried to lighten it up by saying what a good cook she was, and I would really like what she would make ...
After awhile, she came out and slapped a plate down in front of me with an evil grin on her face. It contained (among other things) tuna fish, fruit cocktail, onions, and other unidentifiable foodstuff mixed with some kind of sloppy sauce. Then she stood there, waiting for me to eat it. No human being would eat such a mess, let alone a shy 11 year old kid who was visiting for the first time and had never even met her before.
When I said I could not eat it, she immediately started bitching about how she spent all that time making it and I darn well better eat it. My dad knew I would vomit if I tried, so in order to appease her, he said, "Well, it won't go to waste, I'll eat it!" How he managed to stomach it amazes me to this day.
After this wonderful introduction, she then sent along a bag of clothes she thought I might like the next time he visited me. When I opened it up later, I saw it contained threadbare worn out crap including her old girdles and underwear. When my mother saw it, she was about ready to hunt her down and kill her - no lie.
Needless to say, their relationship didn't last a lot longer after that. The last I heard she wound up living an embittered life, alone. No surprise there.
Oh, and I forgot to add ...
Oh, and I forgot to add ... my experience with that woman (and eventually, my dad's second wife as well) did shape how I perceived SMs and shaped how I behave in that kind of role.
Needless to say, I have never done anything so purposely cruel to my SO's kids. Even during their teen years, I never stooped to any antics like that.
So I guess if there was any good that came out of it, it was me learning how NOT to behave and remember what it felt like to be the kid - especially in the beginning.
Maybe the SM was one of
Maybe the SM was one of those that give us a bad ame. The majority of SM go out of their way to be nice and include the skids. Maybe if I got in touch with my bitchy side the first time i met my skids I wouldn't be having issues with these revengeful loosers. Human nature and those capable of using people will always see a person who is nice as weak.
SA, just curious, if one of
SA, just curious, if one of your SD's got married, would you go to the wedding? I am trying to find one of your posts you wrote about giving one of your SD's thousands of dollars last year (I read on the train and then try to come back to posts, lol). I wanted to ask you why you and DH give her this kind of money at her age? Or does DH just give her money without your consent??