It's all "ME,ME,ME!"
I have a stepdaughter in her forties with 3 children. She has been spoiled by her father and thinks of no one but herself. She feels the need to be constantly traveling with the kids(without her dear hubby). She has"friends" in almost every state and makes herself at home in everyone of their homes. She travels with her kids sick and in return leaves her friends drained and infected once she up and decides to go visit someone else. 5 weeks ago, she came to stay with her father and I, because her home was in dis-repair and she didn't feel like staying there anymore. She brought her kids (all of them with a cold) and right now, her father and I have been fortunate enough to catch whatever they had and we are both sick with fever and colds. She could care less. She lets the kids run around the house and scream, leave their toys everywhere.....Oh yea, she doesn't feel like going home yet, so, one of her kids has missed 1 week of school. She tells the kids that as long as they have friends wherever they go and as long as they are having fun, everything is ok. Her husband is a weasle and does anything and everything she says (just like her father.) She left dear hubby behind to deal with the ongoing house "work", while she travels the country with 3 kids.
How can an adult (I use that term loosely), be so irresponsible, inconsiderate and so downright annoying? The worst part is that I cannot say anything....finding this website was life saving!
Her Dad is totally blind...she can do no wrong...and if he sees that she is doing wrong, he tries to rationalize it.She and her Dad are like "best girlfriends"..... I see no end to this nightmare and have resolved to get help. My DH's daughter and grandkids (not to mention MY irresponsible DH) will be the end of me, soon.
If my married existence has
If my married existence has served any purpose....I can say, just convincing one person to stay away from a relationship with anyone with children...makes it all worth it!
I totally agree...divorced
I totally agree...divorced Dad's have such a guilt chip on their shoulders!
I'm in my early
I'm in my early 50's...husband is 12 years older.I am going to go seek some counseling and no, there is no way to limit her visits. Her father just tried to get her stay for a year while the work on her condo is completed.(He never asked me what I thought about that....doesn't really care 'cause it's HIS daughter and he will do whatever he needs to do to make her life more comfortable... even if it means making my life more miserable. My energy level is down because I see no hope in ever having a "peaceful" existence without the constant SD drama...she is a part of my life that will always be a thorn on my side.
Can't say anything because I
Can't say anything because I don't want to hear any ugly comments come out of DH's mouth. It's HIS daughter and he will always put her wishes before mine. (pretty sad to have to admit that)
Between now and the end of summer...she has 2 more visitation trips planned.
She can never stay in her own home for very long...it's always come back to Daddy. (with the grandkids in tow.) BTW, she drives 25 hours to get to Daddy.
Is there any way you could
Is there any way you could retreat to one separate part of the house when she is about?
yes, I definitely do retreat
yes, I definitely do retreat into my bedroom and spend most of the time in there!
It sounds so stifling and
It sounds so stifling and sad. I second the previous poster who said he or she would be apartment hunting by now. I hope you get some resolution to this very disrespectful situation.
....or their wife........ I
....or their wife........
I get the "It's 'different' with my girls than with you, it's not the same."
Irritates me to no end the stupidity of his rational.
How the hell does she AFFORD
How the hell does she AFFORD that? Travelling alone is expensive, dragging multiple kids along and feeding them?!?
I hope you and Daddy aren't subsidizing this grand adventure.
Because she propably expects
Because she propably expects these friends to feed her and her kids, it propably saves her money to live like this.
I would be seeing a therapist
I would be seeing a therapist and an attorney to understand what your options are. Take it from me, sometimes it is worth it to divorce if he doesn't intend to leave you everything. Do you know what his intentions are?
Because she has been brought
Because she has been brought up this way, part of a parents job is to teach respect, discipline and how to take care of ones self, however at her age you would think she would have learned how to behave by now, does your husband voices his concerns to her at all? It must have been terribly stressful having them in the house, I would'nt put up with that, she has sought out and cultivated people that do not challenge her and allow her to use them, she has no reason to stop, could you put your foot down with you husband and say she should call and ask if its ok? I have recently threatened to leave my partner and that has resolved our issues, maybe its time for you to lay the law down with your husband, its your home too.