Im pregnantd now my stepdaughter hates me
Hello,
Needed to vent. I have a 19 year old stepdaughter who hates my guts. We've never been on great terms( no fault of mine, the child just wasn't feeling me) but recently, if looks could kill, I'd be a goner. All this is due to the fact that I am 38 weeks pregnant..... She is extremely upset about the fact her father and I are having a baby ( my first, his fourth). Everyone initially thought it was because she was feeling jealousy over the fact that she has been the only girl, and now here comes our daughter to shake things up...However, she has recently expressed to people, she feels this baby is going to take from her and her brothers(financially). This is a flawed argument and I'm trying to remember this is a teenager who is still working on her maturity, but I cant help but be pissed off about this for many reasons. A.. her mother has constantly bashed my husband and made him out as if he's a deadbeat Dad. He's not, he pays $1,200 a month in child support, it comes directly out of his check every month, I know because I handle the household bills and see his deductions. Despite what he pays every month, she has an expectations that he will pay that and take additional funds from the house hold to provide things for the children. Its not out of the ordinary for her to call and demand he take the children on a shopping spree. Well this is difficult to do when your already paying out so much in child support and have household finances to take care of. MY DH has pushed back and informed her he couldn't do that as he had outside responsibilities, well this pissed her off and I became every name in the book because of course this is my fault because he takes care of me. In addition, she has talked to her kids, primarily her daughter about what he's not doing, bashing him. On one occasion, the child called him and told him he needed to "step his game up, because mommy has bills". I was shocked. This man has always provided for his kids. They have never not known him......If they want to see a deadbeat Dad, I could show them mine. My second thing,I work and make a very good income... Throughout the duration of our relationship, I have always worked two jobs.. Not because I had to but because I felt like why sit at home when I could be making money. Matter of fact, I worked two jobs up until I was 7 months pregnant! I'm not dependent on him and we operate as a team and if you really want to know, I make about 15,000 more than him. I feel like if she is struggling financially, she needs to go get a second job instead of trying to shake my husband down. Lastly what makes this argument so flawed is they currently reside with the person who their mother had an affair on my husband with. He is the reason her parents marriage failed, I was nowhere in the picture, but you hating on me and a little baby, your half sister. Its crazy. They are living with this man, hell, they bought a home together.If your having some financial difficulties, why aren't you going to this man? Its just an unfair situation because Id love for my baby to know her sister, but it looks like that's not going to happen....
My advice is to start
My advice is to start disengaging from sd and watch her like a hawk once your baby is born. Congratulations on your pregnancy.
We are in a state where he
We are in a state where he pays until she's 21.. I'm not sure why she's not working, I've asked the same question because I started working consistently at 16 years old and by the time I was 19, I was totally providing for myself. I may go to my mother here and there if I needed assistance, but for the most part I took care of myself.
I think it is because she is
I think it is because she is upset he is starting a "new" family and this little girl will get to have her mom and dad together. I'm sure she chalked it up to financial worries because other people won't argue with her about that especially if they don't know your DH's finances or if her and BM have projected your DH as a deadbeat.
your sd hates you as when
your sd hates you as when your child is born she will no longer be the baby in the family.
she is a young woman and can be a mother herself at that age. at this age, she should be in school and have a job.
rather than be happy foryou and her father, she is jealous.
what a spoiled brat. immature and selfish.
dont let her rain on your parade and your happiness in your coming family.
Ignore it Hon, you are the
Ignore it Hon, you are the evil witch who took daddy away from them, that's what SD and BM believes and you will never change their view on the matter, You know it's not true, DH knows it's not true... so who cares what they think.
Congrats on the new baby, enjoy every moment of it and Hon, SD and her half sibling will never know each other, SD will never like the baby, the age difference is just to big, thus you will raise a single child or maybe 2, depends on what you and DH decided.
Do not involve you in SD and BM matters, they are not your family, DH can deal with them on his own, as long as DH can pay his bills and look after you who cares, DH is paying CS he does not have to take them on shopping spree's, that's why there's CS..... You keep your money separate and you just love your DH and baby...
SD-19 is no longer a child.
SD-19 is no longer a child. She gets smacked accertively (figuratively of course)just as any other adult threat to your family would. Quit worrying about her and write her off as she has her father and baby half sister.
As for BM and the PAS manipulation.... DH needs to adopt the Facts and nothing but the Facts strategy. When BM whines about money and SD-19 drops the "Mommy has bills" card... DH needs to sit the toxic golden uterus crotch dropping down and show her the comprehensive spreadsheet of what he has paid in CS and every other penny he has doled out to BM over the years to support HIS children. The facts are neither good nor bad. They are merely facts. SD-19 is old enough to be served the full meal deal of facts regarding her toxic BM's crap, adulteries, and a clear understanding of the CO and the comprehensive financial contribution made by your DH to BM for the support of the prior relationship spawn.
Not a monthly number but a comprehensive roll up of the total amound.
At $1200/mo plus BM demanded "shopping trips", etc.... I am sure that DH has contributed a pile of cash to BM and the entitlement minded spawn. "$1200/mo" does not make nearly the impression that the roll up of years of CS has.
Bare BM's and SD-19's asses.