Here welfare mom, take all the money I work for!
I'm so pissed and disgusted...I have 4 adult step kids and 1 SD12.
Oldest SD, 4 years ago decided she'd rather not care for her 2 children, so their father took them out of state to live-no paperwork, no court system. They are still legally married.
Meanwhile, SD has 2 babies with another man. NOW, she goes and snatches the kids back-taking my husband with her.
So of course they are both wanted for felony custody interference_which I don't understand since there is no court order granting either parent custody. But the father has had them for 4 years and has received a whopping $1600 child support the entire time.
So SD paid $1500 in the state where she lives to an idiot lawyer-the case has to be heard in the father's home state since the kids have lived there over 6 months. NOW she needs a defense attorney because of the felonies, as does my husband. ALSO, she needs an attorney hired in the state where her husband lives.
Well, SD has no job, never has worked much, so guess who's paying for her other 2 attorneys, plus my husband needs one now too.
WE are paying for her attorneys!
We are not wealthy people.
SHE has to business tying to take on her first 2 kids when she can't even support the two babies she made recently!
I am seriously regretting my decision to come back to this marriage-I left for several months and just came back a couple months ago.
If my husband goes to prison, we will lose our home, one of our vehicles, and I will have to file bankruptcy. Meanwhile, I have a BD13 to think about.
I just can't believe my Dh was stupid enough to go along with this scheme when I told him all along that his daughter needed to only get and attorney in the state where the kids live. So basically, it costed around $1000 to make the trip to go snatch the kids, and it will be a minimum of $5,000 for the rest of the attorneys-not to mention the cost of travel to return the children and/or fight the custody battle out of state. And lets not forget-my husband can do 18 months in prison if he is found guilty, and that is the minimum. Dh told me not to worry. Ha.
Go file for divorce. Don't
Go file for divorce. Don't let him drag you down. Yes, they can be charged with kidnapping. Even without paperwork they had lived in another state with their father for FOUR YEARS?!? If your SD had filed in court, had a case going over custody would be a different story...but she just let them go for FOUR YEARS and never tried to say< "hey, he took my kids" No, she can't just go "take them back". Your SD and your H are in a lot of trouble. Don't let them drag you into it.
Were I you I would give your
Were I you I would give your DH clarity that he is on his own with his Felon DD to fight his own felony charges. Change the locks and preserve your resources for yourself and your DD.
Marriage is a committed partnership but criminal activity immediately voids any support from the non criminal partner IMHO. Your DH kidnapped two children. Is that someone you want to partner with for the rest of your life?
Take care of yourself.
My heart goes out to all of
My heart goes out to all of SDs kids, and the first bio dad of her kids.
If you ever get wind of DHs whereabouts, notify the authorities.
File for divorce now to protect your assets and get rid of the pieces of garbage that are dh and sd. If dh contacts you to protest the divorce, tell him not to worry }:)
My Dh is at our house. Sd is
My Dh is at our house. Sd is at hers with the kids. The authorities know where to find them both, and since the warrant is out of state, my Dh may be safe unless he gets pulled over or has other contact with the police for any reason. Then our state will know he has the warrant out of state and that state will have to decide if they want to extradite. I think the man ruined my life. But some of you are saying that they cant charge him because neither parent had legal custody, but they sure issued a warrant. Probably because the kids were under the care and control of their father for the past 4 years while their mother was off doing what she wanted.
And she will never get
And she will never get custody back after this stunt. Status quo...kids have been living with father for 4 years. Unless the Dad is a pedofile, drug abusers he will retain custody.
After custody is established then they will prosecute to the max.
NOt the same but kinda: Our BM had her kids taken for abuse/neglect. They gave her a year to stabilize and regain custody. No charges were filed against her at that time. She didn't do what the court ordered and DSO got full 100% custody. Within 2 weeks, BM was indicted by the Grand Jury for abuse/neglect. They wouldn't have charged her if she had retained custody.
It's ALREADY devastating to
It's ALREADY devastating to me emotionally-and financially, wow. I would have been divorced and debt-free by now if I hadn't decided to give DH another chance.
You said he's been charged.
You said he's been charged. That ends the speculation here. Somebody in charge thinks he broke the law and they're the experts. Now its not a matter of did he break the law but can an attorney get him off on a technicality.
You left two months ago for good reason I'm sure. Now its gotten worse. Is there any question about staying or not staying?
If a warrant for 2 counts of
If a warrant for 2 counts of Custodial Interference counts as "charged" then he has been charged.
The only technicality I can think of is that the SD and her husband never actually got divorced-so there is no parenting plan or legal custody/visitation arrangement with the courts in any state.
BUT, as I stated, the kids LIVE WITH and are under THE CARE AND CONTROL of their father and have been for 4 years! To me that means you can't get a wild hair and decide to go trick the man into letting their grandfather see them and then the grandfather turn them loose to their mother.
Thank you. Me and Dh almost
Thank you. Me and Dh almost divorced, so I had moved out with my BD13 and now we've moved back in. BD said if we move out again, she's going to go live with her dad
There's a chance Dh will never serve a day in prison-then he keeps his job and we lose nothing but several thousand in legal fees.
There's a chance DH will go to prison and then we lose everything-I cannot afford to pay this huge house payment, car payment, credit card debt, plus all the other bills by myself-even for a year. It would bury me.
The truth is, if I were sure my BD would stay with me, I would file for divorce Monday because I am sick of Dh's family and to me, he just proved what's important to him-being a hero to his screwed up daughter and NOT being a responsible spouse to me.
This SD has been in trouble since before I knew her. The other adult skids barge in to my home uninvited, unannounced without even knocking, they disrespect me. They don't like me. I'm in the way of their inheritance. (UMM-before dh and I got together he owned nothing but a beat up old car! TOGETHER, we have bought a house and 2 new cars that we work for and we pay for so what HE has now is actually OURS).
To top it off, I also have a SD12 who is a royal pain in the a$$. In all types of annoying ways-her smart mouth, her bad attitude, her plots to divide Dh and I, etc.
So, truth be told, I made a mistake coming back here. Me and DH get along amazingly well now, but we have been to and are still going to counseling. But there's just too much sh*t that comes with being a part of this family-and now THIS!
But my BD13 is everything to me, so chances are, I will ride this out here. I may lose everything including the house and then BD can decide if she wants to live with her dad. Or, just maybe my Dh wont lose his freedom and his job and everthing he and I have worked for.
I can say this with confidence though: when my BD leaves home, I'm leaving too-with half of everything.
I don't think you should be
I don't think you should be disliking the twelve year old CHILD. I think you should be disliking your dumbass husband That's what DH stands for in your case. If he is the type of guy who is willing to commit crimes it is no wonder why SD12 is the way she is.
Even if your DH doesn't go to prison he could still lose his job. Most employers will not want to keep someone who admittedly commits actions like these. Then you'll really be up a creek if you stay with him.
Your DD doesn't want to move out? Tell her tough $hit. Do you really think staying with a criminal is going to set a good example for her? Does her dad know what's going on? Maybe he could back you up on leaving this guy.
THIS ^^^^^ in bucket
THIS ^^^^^ in bucket loads!
Do not stay because you fear losing dd13, talk to her and explain things. You could end up worse off if you stay!