Sooo tired of the manipulation and the attitudes - does it get any better? NO, not unless they actually launch their lazy a$$es out into the real world and start taking accountability for themselves. But why should you go ahead and launch into the real world when your Disney daddy smooths everything over - until the next issue blows?

Not to give too much specific info - SS25 has been in a state 16 hours away and will live there for 5 years to satisfy a requirement to have his student loans forgiven. This is great news for someone who funded 5.5 years of college tuition, living expenses, a car lease, and partying habits all on student loans. Anyway instead of getting a summer job while in state 16 hours away, SS25 decided to move home for a while - don't know for how long, just that he calls it "visiting" and he's already been here a month.

The other 2 adult skids are paying rent and helping with utilities - SD20 is in college and working a part-time job. SS23 has also graduated college with no student loans (thankfully!) and also working a full time summer job. By them paying rent and utilities we are hoping this is incentive for them to get ready to launch themselves into adulthood and out of our house. SS23 has an exit plan - but realistically it has been pushed back by Disney dad so I know he will probably still be living with us for at least another year - another post all in itself.

Dh and I talked about how it was not fair for the other 2 skids to be paying rent and utilities but for the SS25 not to pay anything. At the time, we agreed that he would pay the same as the other 2 since technically he is living here and Dh told him that if he was moving home (which all of his crap is here too) then he would pay. Since I do the budgeting and managing the money, I was also the one who was taking the money out of the skids accounts when rent and bills were due (Dh is still somehow able to access their accounts). Today while paying the bills I noticed that SS25's account was gone from the home page, we could no longer see it. I asked Dh what happened and he said that SS25 closed the account because he wants to put the money in the bank in state 16 hours away and he doesn't feel he should have to pay as much as he has been for staying here.

Dh and I had a talk, SS25 has been telling Dh that he is just "visiting for a while" and he shouldn't have to pay rent because he doesn't actually live here. So why is all his crap still here? And SS25 has been buying his own food (he bough himself waffles, big whoop). So why is he always standing in front of the fridge with the door open and eating our food? He has been telling his dad that he will probably leave next week - it has already been almost 4 weeks! But if he keeps telling his dad that he is only visiting and will probably leave next week then why should we theoretically make him may for anything?

It makes me angry that SS25 keeps telling his dad this crap and then Dh does nothing about it. I talked to Dh and told him that I understand that this is his son and if we were in a better financial position that it wouldn't be such a big deal to have him "visit" for a while. But when we are living paycheck to paycheck and budgeting everything down to the penny - why do we have to take on the expenses of another adult? He's 25 years old! It's not like he's 16 and we are obligated to provide for him. He 25 and spending his money on alcohol, going out to eat with friends, online sports games, and amazon purchases. WTH? Where does he get off in thinking he's still a dependent, free-loading off of daddy?!

Dh has been very quiet since we talked and SS25 hasn't come out of his room all day. Somehow I am solely responsible for all of this - even though Dh didn't necessarily say that but the quietness and SS not coming out of his room peaks volumes! Although I quite prefer for skids to stay in their rooms. I finally told Dh that I am tired of doing all the budgeting and taking the money out of the skids accounts. Next month he can do it all and see how easy it is to manage the money and bills for everyone. He immediately said he doesn't know how to do it. I will teach you! You need to know the headache that I go through in trying to pay everything when the money doesn't go very far - especially when you have extra mouths to feed.

Thank you for letting me rant... or vent... get it off my chest. It helps even though I know nothing is going to change.