Found step daughter after 25 years

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I found my step daughter on Facebook after looking for her for 25 years. I was super excited asking for advice to do things properly etc. Her dad and I have been married 25years ( not the reason for the break up, I meet him 2 years after he divorced her mother) have 2 other children happy happy marriage. My husband was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy and given 5 years to live so I felt like it was imperative I find her. BIGGEST mistake of my life. In 8 short months she has destroyed my life. First off she insists on sleeping in the same bed and spooning with her dad. She has all these actual documented mental illnesses and refuses medication she manipulates my husband cries says she's suicidal just to get his attention. To me it seems like they are having an affair. Their intimacy level is insane. Reading their text my husband refers to her as his soulmate reason for living his universe etc. He treats her like this but has NEVER EVER treated our other two like this. He talks to her about our marriage and says she's the only one who can calm him down. He moved her down to Florida from Ohio to our other home and I begged him for 3 months not to do this but he did, he stayed at her house for 2 straight month every single night. We never have been apart. I'm extremely hurt and becoming very bitter. I need help. I have decided I will not bring her up in conversations I will only answer questions when directly asked and keep EVERY conversation non personal. Just vague topics to not give her anything to use against me. I can't deal with her mental health illnesses. I've tried. Things are super bad right now I told him if he wants to see her go to her house but keep her away from me and out of my life. This of course has made my husband not happy. I don't know what to do.

I've tried to stop it. It

I've tried to stop it. It causes fight after fight. He does have a terminal disease and I don't want to be none in our small community as the woman who got rid of her sick husband

What??

:jawdrop: What??

Yep I'm living in hell every

Yep I'm living in hell every single day. I don't know what to do. He takes her side in everything and I'm always the bad person

Wow ?

What does your husbands

What does your husbands doctors say about his daughter spooning dad in bed?

I'm sure they don't know

I know for a fact my husband

I know for a fact my husband isn't able to do anything physical because he's on so much blood thinners. It's emotional and that hurts. I'm sorry so much information on a first post I've been needing to get this stuff out of me in an anonymous way. I'm sorry I've never done a blog or post before and I'm such a private person I don't talk to anyone about it in real life.

There's a whole lot more they

There's a whole lot more they can do besides *it.* Open your eyes lady. There's a lot going on right under your nose.

Emotional Pain, Loud & Clear

...cuz it's painful just to read. Good job writing it out; that's too much pain for one person and such a crazy situation nobody should have to imagine, no less live through. There ARE toxic people roaming the earth seeking who they can devour, and your attempt to help your husband reconnect his family before he passes was nothing but a beautiful gesture of love that this disturbed SD/succubus/whatev blew through to parasitically attach to host DH. I can understand not being able to talk about it, and writing about it helps get through the emotions and get mental clarity on what your next steps are, and ways to take care of yourself.

Believe it or not that is a

Believe it or not that is a small segment of what's going on

Where was she for 25 years?

No houses in my name too.

No houses in my name too. Everything I'm on with ownership. He would have to get my approval first.

Welcome,

Welcome, Lifeturnedinto,

Sorry you're going through this. None of us can predict how much destruction a skid or bm can wreak in our lives until we live it. Most of us are like you, happy to support these relationships and even seeking them out only to find out we are just cannon fodder in a crazy battle that's been going on for years.

I agree with those here who say begin to set aside your sense of devotion to a man over his terminal status. What would you do if he acted like this and had no illness? Does his illness give him the right to destroy your life and possibly wreck your estate you've been building together for a quarter of a century and the legacy of your own kids? I agree that he may well behind your back have signed over future assets like insurance to this creepy soulmate girl. Protect yourself now.

Please mull over this question: "If it wouldn't be ok were he healthy, why is it ok at all?"

What else can be excused by his illness? Can he have a full out affair with his high school sweetheart? Can he hire prostitutes? Can he take up compulsive gambling and bet away the kids' college funds?

While you are having all this compassion and devotion to this ill-behaving man, HAVE SOME COMPASSION AND DEVOTION TO YOURSELF. It's hard to do but you must.

I opened that pandora box and

I opened that pandora box and I'm paying for it everyday

Oh honey it's true and then

Oh honey it's true and then some. But I was in the wrong because she's his daughter. Well I have a daughter and son with him and he never spooned with them

Two observations: First,

Two observations:
First, she's after any money she can get. Try to make absolute sure, even if he changes his will, that you are not left in some ridiculous position like co-owning your properties with her after he's gone. If that is what he intends, then you might actually be best to divorce before he passes. Sounds cruel but your need right now is to protect your future when you are left alone to spar with loony-tunes.

Swcond, he is struggling with his own mortality. That can make folks do,all,sorts of strango stuff. You can forgive him for his humanity, but try to be rational about his illness's potential to ruin your future. This is so very sad, my first husband had a brain wasting disease and used to do all sorts of weird stuff. Seems like a long time ago now.

As unthinkable as this is it

As unthinkable as this is it could be true. The fact that they are sleeping in the same bed and spooning is beyond what any adult father/adult daughter relationship should. Google "Genetic Sexual Attraction."

"Genetic Sexual Attraction happens in up to half of all situations in which pubescent or post-pubescent genetic relatives meet for the first time or reunite after having been separated since at least one of them was a child."

Your husband has a terminal illness, has nothing to lose, and his long lost beautiful (in his eyes) grown daughter has returned. Grown mentally ill daughter wants to bond w/her long lost father, spooning and much more may be the only way she knows how. What a train wreck, I'm so sorry. But like above posters have stated I would not put up w/it regardless of his condition. They likely are having sex and I would do some snooping to find out.

I'd divorce him and let him and nutso work it out. What a sad way to go, sheesh.

Hidden camera time!!!

I agree with all of the other

I agree with all of the other posters who say to protect yourself and see an attorney. If you are worried about how it looks to divorce DH, just think how bad it looks for you to stay and condone such sick behavior - even if it IS crazy. As you can see from all of the responses to your post, anyone you told the truth to would be appalled and would not judge you badly. Please don't delay in seeing the attorney. The sooner, the better for you. Hope the best for you. What a horrible thing to have to live through! (((HUGS)))

Not to be morbid... however,

Not to be morbid... however, this won't go on forever. How much of the 5yr horizon for your DH is left?

Go see an attorney, make sure that FLA is a right of survivorship state, and get ready to cut this succubus out of your life and the life of your own children upon DH's demise.

My condolences on your resurrection of the demonic product of your DH's former coupling with and spawning of this shallow and polluted gene pool crotch nugget.

Take care of you, take care of your kids.

Succubus

"Succubus" was my 1st thought, too.

Not just the doctor- everyone

Not just the doctor- everyone! You say you are a private person and don't want to talk to anyone in real life- sorry but this is real life and it is yours.

DH is your first responsibility- do what is best for him and she is not good for him- turning up and being over affectionate is out of order. I know a one time close friend who slept alongside her dad in his last days,whilst I found it creepy I sort of understood it but they had always been close. In this one I'm unsure, but it sure is upsetting you.

I agree that some counselling might help and should be available to you as the carer for someone with a terminal illness. Also get the legal side sorted- make sure his wishes are known regarding his last arrangements too , as this can also be a battleground.

I would time her out- tell DH she will be leaving in a week and let them do what they want in that time- then she leaves... it is only right that you spend this time with the man you love and not be second best to someone who has not been around for so long. It is grossly unfair to you both- you want to make some more memories while you can.

Assert yourself lady- this is your chance to shine and show him how much you truly love him by doing what is best and right.

Good luck.

If you feel his mental

If you feel his mental capacity is impaired file for power of attorney. You and your assets together will then be fully protected. (Make sure the will is rock solid first and has not been altered in any way)

Once done, remove that woman from your home through all powers possible. Evict her if need be and with the POA you have proof that your DH can not make decisions based on mental capacity.

And move on, never to allow this woman access unless you are supervising all interactions. And do it quick.

First I visited with a victim

First I visited with a victim advocate, free of charge. Then take all the FACTS, and only the facts to an Attorney immediately. Tie everything up, including bank accounts and Power of Attorney's. This is what I did. Don't say a word, just take your time and get everything in order. It too me a few days. Then came the surprise to everyone, but me.

Then I booted DH, via Law Enforcement to SD's house, with Court ordered Protective Order and Property Possession Order served on DH. I had the locks re-keyed.

I love my DH. He is totally disabled and now can not even dress himself without me. I will send him back to SD, if he starts with his games again. Believe me, SD doesn't want to take total care of her Dad; she's praying I stay happy. He betrayed me to SD and she threw DH under the bus, with a 2 page hate email to me.

Well, it took a few months, but she stays away from me, she is required to call or text her Dad first, before coming to our home, and she shows respect to me in my own home. If she crosses the line, she's out of our home for good, no visitation. She has been notified and both DH and SD know I will follow through with it. I am totally disengaged from my SD57 and will never engage with this evil woman again.

You have to take care of yourself, regardless of your DH's health. When you make boundaries, stand on them. When you make decisions, don't back down. Follow through with the worst nightmare of your life. It pays off one way or the other.

Even though things are much better with my marriage, there are days, when I think I should have left DH with SD.