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dh tries to manipulate me again

Keepsmiling's picture

I am going to sd's baby shower on Saturday. Don't really want to; but agreed to go.(see blog). This morning dh says to me do you want me to call sd and invite her to thanksgiving or you ask her at the shower. Dh tried to manipulate me into dealing with her. Not this time. I laughed to myself mmm she probably won't speak to me on Saturday. Not my kid; you call her. She has no reason to come she'll already have all the gifts from the family she wanted nothing to do with. But, you understand, her mother died when she was 15, and she doesn't know any better. on and on. HA

ENuff's picture

Wow ~ I feel for you.

I had a bridal shower to go to this past summer of my fiancé niece n fiancé's daughter was attending n we haven't seen or heard from her in well over 2 years. I question myself going ~ feeling I was invited out if obligation. If I wasn't w fiancé ~ niece wouldn't invite him.
I told my fiancé that I had a dilemma after receiving invitation that I had another engagement I was committed to. Explained the 2 parties along w the fact that his daughter would be there as well

Response ~ which floored me was

Good maybe you can break the ice for me !

My internal thought ~ r u delusional !
Outward response ~ I really doubt she will welcome seeing my face before she sees you.

Had conversation w his sister who stood by ~ don't let her stop you from doing anything you want to do.

Went to the shower ~ very uncomfortable ~ his daughter showed up a hour late n I had to leave a half hour after she showed up.
In her delusional mind ~ she felt like her presence made me leave. Ummm no I went to fund raiser for a friend who's son committed suicide. The fact that she felt that way pisses me off. Status on her social media ~ was that she made me leave ~ bye bye not part of the family.

Then the wedding ~ ugggh. When she saw her father they reconnected. I welcome that cause it will make him happy. I choose not to be a part of her dramatic life. All drama ! I think like you have stated before ~ it wouldn't matter who I am ~ you don't want your father with anyone. So selfish ~ after my mother passed away ~ my father dated. He got married ~ his wife will never be my mother ever. I respected who she was in my fathers life ~ he was entitled to be happy until the day he died. Are these SC so selfish ~ that they would rather their father be miserable for the remainder of his life. I call bullshit !!!

I respect what position my SD holds in my fiancé's life. But she does not respect me for who I am in his life ~ therefore she doesn't respect him at all. Trying to control your own fathers life ~ speaks volumes of what time of people they are. It's not kind , it's not living it's dark n dreary

Orange County Ca's picture

Why are you looking at her social media?

Keep in mind that none of the people who read it have anything to do with you, probably don't even know your name so what do you care what she writes?

Block it like you're trying to block her.

ENuff's picture

I do not stalk her at ALL. I have family members telling me what she says. 2 years ago I blocked n deleted her from my FB n I do not have any other social media accounts. The posts are often after some sort of incident that occurs ~ I m a grown ass woman n FB is all I can handle ~ computer is a challenge anymore.

I have never revealed my anguish to my fiancé's family members at all ~ they question her posts that seem to be directed toward me. I feel that I will not bad mouth her to her family ~ they can see it for themselves. I am not on of those people ~ that builds an army type of people.

Orange County Ca's picture

Tell your family members that you do not want to hear one word about what she says or writes about you. If the subject comes up remind them she is not to be discussed in your presence.

ENuff's picture

Yup your right ~ without a bitchy attitude as well.

I find the whole situation just bs ~ this wedding happened a little over a month now. I have not asked fiancé if he has spoke to her ~ for fear it will lead to a dreaded fight. My relationship feels like a time bomb ticking.

He is so blinded by her chameleon like tendencies ~ n I see through her shit.

Got any advice for me here ??? I m frustrated ~