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DH drama maybe?

Disillusioned's picture

Submitted by Disillusioned on Tue, 02/04/2014 - 3:46pm

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Adult Stepchildren

Every weekend we call YSD since she and her SO have moved out west. It's always an 'event'. DH makes a huge deal about us phoning YSD (as if I thought for one second we wouldn't, just like we do every weekend) then DH is all proud, eeewing and aaaawing everything YSD says, all emotional telling her how proud he is of her, how much he loves her, and so on

It's usually a lengthy call

It's great and I know DH of course is proud of YSD and does love her. I do too Smile but a part of me sometimes thinks the "event" has an element in it on DH's part of impressing me with it all

For YSD's part, I get the feeling that as much as she loves me she would like to have a conversation with her dad without her SM always being part of it. So, when DH starts the "we have to phone SD today" routine, I sometimes suggest he just give his daughter a call. Then of course I get the "oh fine, you don't want to talk to my daughter" crap.

So then I remind him how much I love YSD and enjoy talking with her (it's true, I love to hear about what going on in her life) However, I don't love the feeling that maybe she feels I'm always forced upon her. So when I tell DH this I get the old "YSD is NOT like that, she LOVES you, she KNOWS we're a team" routine Sad

This weekend however I was running around getting ready to go out with a girlfriend when DH started the "we need to phone SD first" So I casually mentioned that why doesn't DH phone her, tell her I say Hi and send my love, but that I'm on my out with a friend.

Surprisingly DH did do it Smile

Also surprisingly is his tone when talking to YSD...I couldn't hear what he was saying but could notice he was not the usual over the top emotional gushy love you so much routine. Anyway, after a few minutes DH says to me "SD asked me to say hello and tell you she loves you"

I was confused and blurted out "you're done talking already?" DH says yes, I ask if everything is okay and he says it's fine

And I'm thinking, so why when I'm pressured to get in on the call it's a big long one with all the emotional father/daughter stuff, but when I'm out of it, it's a 5 or 10 minute how are ya, great, talk soon call?

Merry's picture

Submitted by Merry on Tue, 02/04/2014 - 4:48pm

I don't understand that over the top stuff either. I rarely am on the call when DH talks to one of his kids. At most, if I answer the phone I'll chat a bit. I get along with both skids, most of the time. I'm lucky. We've been through a lot and came out the other side.

But DH still does the over the top stuff too. Every thing they do is the BEST. He is so proud of EVERYTHING. I think it's great that he tells his kids that he loves them and that he's proud of them. But gushing over a new job at a pizza joint should not sound like someone just won the Nobel Prize in physics.

Disillusioned's picture

Submitted by Disillusioned on Tue, 02/04/2014 - 6:19pm

Too funny Merry!

Sometimes I get the feeling DH is trying to impress ME when he does the over the top stuff, when it should simply be about connecting with his daughter....