First off, shame on your DH for allowing disrespect of his WIFE.

Secondly, QUIT.

Your husband knows you are not crazy. He is well aware of how you are being treated. He doesn't care. He cares only about himself. He allowed his ex wide to come over at weekends and play happy families, he allowed his children to think the marriage was not dead. Then he took up with you and stopped the ex from coming over. At the same time he ripped the rug out from under his ex and his kids feet. He shattered the illusion that the marriage still had a chance. He wanted all of these things and without giving a thought as to how this soul affect everyone's else's life, he took what he wanted. Look up narcissist, see if your husband fits. Know what you are really dealing with.

Your husbands children blame you for shattering their family. Up until you came along, things were fine. They as a family spent every weekend together. Then you came and put a stop to that. Mum was distressed she became suicidal, and dad, well he still cared so much about mum he gave kids money to buy her flowers or whatever. He of course led the kids to believe that he would do the weekend thing again in a heartbeat, but YOU were there now, because of you he couldn't.

Then mum meets someone else,. He helps her to be happy again. Damn straight they like him.

Your husband will never do anything to support you or make his children show even the most basic of manners around you. He can't, if he does, well, they won't talk to him, and he's not going to risk that. He'd rather watch you become a physical, mental and emotional wreck than risk his kids not talking to him. He also doesn't give a shit how all this impacts on your kids.

There is nothing you can do to make his kids like you EVER. No matter what happens now, they will never like you. Stop trying. Finally, prepare yourself to leave this man. I am not about ultimatums, I am not about playing games. I lived your life, I was so emotionally distressed and physically I'll that my life was seriously at risk. I tried explaining this to my husband, my doctor even tried. My husbands response. You feel like this because you want to feel like this. He still denied how badly I was being treated, that I was being isolated, humiliated and ignored, the rest of the time I was being degraded and insulted by his kids, and he was doing nothing. In fact he said, it was all in my imagination, I was too sensitive, I hated his kids, I didn't want him to have a relationship with them. All the usual. Finally the daughter gave birth to her first child, her nuclear weapon, grown in her womb for the sole purpose of breaking up our marriage. At the hospital I received what would be the final degradation from her. I at the risk of losing my husband said no more. Two weeks later she told her father if he wanted to see her baby, he had to leave me. I banned that bitch from my home and my life. My husband who still wanted to give her yet more chances, well I told him to go with her, and I meant it. I was completely done.

This spawn of Satan Involved my husbands father, now we have no relationship there. Well DH rings him every few weeks, but we haven't seem him in a year and a half.

I told my husband I would not live with him as the other woman. Sitting home alone while he attended family functions to which I was not welcome. Not because of anything I had done, but because he had failed to pull hs daughter into line, he had supported her against me. Like you, my children respected him and he was a welcome member of our family, he would have accepted no less mind you. He demanded respect for himself.

It finished up when he was faced with losing his wife, he chose his wife. Stuff his daughter, his sons, his grandchildren. He ket them all go. Why, because he loved me more. LOL. no, absolutely not. Because he loved himself more. He when push came to shove did not care about anyone but himself. He is a narcissist. When faced with choosing the wife who took care of him, his needs, his home, the wife who managed all the finances, who asked nothing of him but gave all, or the needy daughter, who could not cook,clean, was iron or tell the difference between a bill or a receipt. When faced with choosing whether to take care of, or BE taken care of. He chose to be taken care of and to hell with who got hurt.

This has not been without consequences on him. He is now on antidepressants and seeing a counsellor. The antidepressants keep him calm, but the counselling, well that's a waste of time. He is just learning to be more manipulative. I however, take no more of his shit. I stand up for myself. I do not tolerate his disrespect. Interestingly he did admit in counselling he had seen all along what his daughter was doing, but if he said anything he was afraid she wouldn't talk to him. It never occurred to him, that ultimately this would cost him his marriage. He never thought I would have enough. He knew how much I loved him, and he played that love like a fiddle.

I am sorry for him, of course. But I will never allow this man, his family, or anyone to ever drag me to the point of a nervous breakdown ever again.

You are being emotionally abused. You and only you can stop it. Do it for your kids. They are learning from you that this is an acceptable way to live, that this is the kind of treatment you accept in a relationship. You are teaching them its okay to let the person you love abuse you. It's not.

Besides training a replacement, find a job that pays you money and put as much as possible into savings. That way, if the need arises you can tell them all, including DH, to get stuffed.

By the way, your DH DOES sound a lot like EBU's DH and also mine. I KNOW we married twins who were separated at birth! It's all about THEN and THEIR comfort. I'll bet when you tell your DH you want to hire help and train them to do your job, he won't want to spend the money. You then have the opportunity of giving him the choice of supporting you and doing something about the hostile working environment - or paying for someone else to do the job.

Yep Sandy is right. You do have that choice. And yes we did marry twins. But even though separated at birth
They managed to raise their daughters the same way.

There is a very good saying. FEEL THE FEAR, and DO IT ANYWAY. It is fearful having to stand up for yourself in these relationships. But you will be physically, mentally and emotionally destroyed for the duration of the relationship if you don't.

We become so worn out, so tired of fighting, of pleading our case to deaf ears, and you reach a point where you are forced to make a decision. It becomes one of two choices, shut up, put up with the abuse and accept this is as good as your relationship gets. Just lay down an be his victim. Or, stand up and fight for your physical, mental and emotional health, stop allowing yourself to be a victim of emotional abuse. Demand to be treated with respect. Forget the skids, just stand up to your husband and let him know, the party is over. You will not tolerate this anymore. Ban his kids from your home if you want to, his choice, he can demand respect for his wife from them or not, but if its not. Have noticing to do with them at home, and put them in their place at work. Your first step is to stop being afraid of your husband. The worst that can happen, this bulky chooses his kids over you. Nice, is that the man you want then. One who only wants you as long as you let his kids walk on you. If that's who he is, best you find out now. Can you imagine how these kids will treat you in your old age. Where you will be if dad dies first.

lkc9528.....Sooner or later you will get a back bone and stop putting up with all the bad behavior. Your husband is a pansy just like mine. But having to deal with this kind of crap all the time becomes very frustrating I don't care if they are a family when you to got married that means you are also part of the family. your husband needs to act like a man instead of a little boy who is afraid of his kids. I wonder what he thinks about what they did. no way in hell would I not be there and if they left fine by me. your husband is a coward. I seem like I have some anger today but reading some of this on here makes me angry. ALL BECAUSE WE ARE A STEP PARENT give me a break. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF if your so called husband don't like it tell him to hit the flippin road . there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Trying to make them like you will NEVER work. They don't want to like you. If they are treating you badly and you keep sucking up to them and trying to get them to make you part of their family, you are behaving like a fool, and naturally, they are treating you like on.

They threw a party for their father on Father's Day and did not invite you, his wife. They have every right to pull that rude ignorant crap if they want to. HOWEVER, who the hell is your husband to attend that party without you. How dare he allow his spawn to invite family to that event and leave you out. If he knew nothing about it, if it was a surprise, then he should have told jhis kids, I'm ringing my wife and getting her down here. And he should have done that.

You keep focussing on the step kids, looking at their behaviour, and wondering how to get them to like you. FORGET THEM. They are not your problem. YOUR HUSBAND by his silence and complacency is encouraging and participating in this. He is showing his children loud and clear he is happy for them not to accept you, he is happy for them not to include you in family events, he is treating you just like they do. He is not including you in family events, he thinks its ok to leave you out of them, he is showing you absolutely no respect whatsoever, so why the hell should they. Your husbands behaviour is the only behaviour that you should be concerning yourself with, he is making you the family joke. Cinderella, look at the idiot work for free in a business I am leaving for my sons when I die.

Seriously, your husband could stop all of this right this minute if he had any respect for his wife, himself and his marriage. But he chooses not to for whatever reason, what exactly, and more importantly is it about you that makes you think that you deserve to be treated this way, and what is it about you that keeps trying to be nicer and nicer to people who despise you. Leave them alone. They ate adults, they don't like you. That's okay. But it is not okay to bully you at work, to disrespect you, to isolate and exclude you. The answer is not to reward this behaviour by talking to them more, by trying to be nicer to them. The only way to deal with bullies is to stand up to them, not keep handing over your lunch money. You keep doing that and they'll keep bullying you.

As for your husband go and tell him right now, this is it. He has done nothing about their behaviour so your going too. Then ket him knhoney, she is the one who was SOOOO JEALOUS that DDs where in swim team and SHE would sit on the sidelines from 4pm to 11pm watching them... she KNOWS it is hard work... she BEGGED AND PLEADED to join, we said sure, and i signed her up, paid $50 or $60 bucks for it, and since she likely wont make the team, because she half asses it, she will be on the "mini team" and we will fork out $5 per week... she is the one who while she was jealous last year destroyed DDs belongings, and tried to destroy my rice cooker... yes, i am sitting on the side like, watching her fail and laughing my ass off over, because she is the laziest child out there, while everyone else is doing things, she is barely putting any effort into it, so she deserves to fail... SHE deserves it, and i want FDH to see his daughter for the slacker failure that she is.ow, he had damn well better start treating you with the respect you deserve, that you will no longer tolerate being treated as a social outcast in this family. And mean it. If he does not stand up for you, stand up for yourself with him and his brats. Demand a wage, a decent proper wage from this business you are helping to build for his sons, what are they all getting by the way, they cannot be working for nothing. Get more than them, not less. Start treating yourself with respect, as a valuable person, because while you don't show yourself any respect no one else is going to.

By the way read a post by donewiththem see how she got treated at her husbands funeral.

You are going to be out on the street here, and guess what. You are doing it to yourself by allowing your husband to treat you this way. Get out, go to court, and take half his assets.

Show the lot of them you found your backbone.