I have 2 children, one 15 yr old daughter and a 23 yr old son. Both live with myself and second husband. My husband also has 3 adult children. His 2 sons live together with their mom. One works full time and the other has a girlfriend who pays his share of rent. He ahas not worked for 3 and a half yrs. My son who lives with us also has not worked 3 yrs. He has mental health issues since the age of five
and continues to have issues. He has had suicide ideations twice while a teenager and he attempted suicide this past march. He stayed for a week in a psych unit and began counseling and medication. This is the problem..... My husband feels I should insist he find a job within 2 months or get out. I totally understand that he is an adult but I have watched him struggle his whole life with all these problems. He has been diagnosed with numerous things ...seems a different thing everytime he sees someone. I have to believe wioth the right combonation of meds and therapy he will be ok. However I dont think he is anywhere close to that yet and I feel like I would just be setting him up for disaster if I give an ultimatum now . I know part of my husbands issues relate to his own children. He felt he left them too soon when he met meand that they resent it and resent my son for not working. He also feels if he stayed with his sons he could have forced the one who doesnt work to get his liscense and job. I should note that his son has many mental issues of his own but has never received any counciling. My husband somehow thinks therapy and medication work miracles and fast. My goal with my son has #1 for him to take responsibility with his own therapy and meds, which he is doing.My husband just keeps getting angrier towards my son. My sons own father was never supportive with him and part of the reason my first marriage failed was his mental abuse of our son which only made my son even more problematic. They now have a cordial relationship but that is about it. Im not sure what to do, I feel Im stuck in the middle.