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20 somthing SD staying the weekend w/ boyfriend

mellowman's picture

Submitted by mellowman on Mon, 10/26/2015 - 3:43pm

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Adult Stepchildren

My wife's daughter invites herself once or twice a month to stay the weekend. In the past this normally wouldn't be an issue since she would just be there for the evening then leave in the morning. Now, her requests to stay the weekend are starting to infringe on (most notably ME) our home freedoms. Every night she stays my normal routines have to abruptly change or I need to tone my activities down so I'm not disturbing her. My wife says that I need to respect her needs since she's our guest, but why do I feel like the guest in my own home?

Now, she (SD) wants to bring her boyfriend over to stay the weekend with us. Am I wrong in feeling like this is the wrong place for that kind of visit?

How do I tell my wife that I'm mad about being left out of the decision process to allow her to stay the weekend?

I hope I'm not being petty about this.

ChiefGrownup's picture

Submitted by ChiefGrownup on Mon, 10/26/2015 - 4:26pm

I wouldn't like it and my dh wouldn't do it to me.

"Wife, dear, I'd like to talk. This is my home, too. I would prefer if we consulted with one another before we committed to having houseguests. What are your thoughts?"

She may get all huffy about "my daughter is always welcome here!!!" but don't let her get away with it. That is not the point at all. The point is you are an adult who gets to have a voice in who stays in his castle and when.

You can always "soften" this conversation by letting her know about some of the romantic things you had planned to do until you found out the villagers would be overrunning the joint. Then if the conversation goes well, make sure to make some of those romantic plans come true. Win win. Wink

Stormyweather's picture

Submitted by Stormyweather on Mon, 10/26/2015 - 6:26pm

My DH would do this to me too.... With my SS16 who is gay and his boyfriend would come and stay the entire weekend... Without even consulting with me... I had so many issues with it so I'm glad DH is now living in a rental with SS16....

I insisted 1) I was asked first before planning anything ( it is my house)
2) it was against my value system for any child under 18 to have sleep overs let alone virtually live together ( they are always over at each other's places even mid week).

So with them both gone I'm actually happy now I have my house back and I don't have to handle anything anymore.