Step-children Co-sleeping Laws
I'm not sure if this is the right forum for this or not. I am new here, and relatively new to being a step-mother. I married my husband last November. My 13 yr old step-son and 7 yr old step-daughter come stay with us mainly on the weekends. I also have a 12 yr old biological son who stays with us some weekends as well. Right now, we are having an issue with my stepdaughter does not want to sleep alone. She insists on sleeping in bed with her father. She is afraid of the dark, and she still won't sleep alone in her room even if we allow her to leave the light on. At her mother house, she has several brothers and sisters and sleeps in a room with 2 of her sisters. I am at my wits end because my husband won't force her to sleep in her own bed, and I am stuck having to sleep in her bed when she's here because there isn't enough room in our bed for the 3 of us, plus I don't feel comfortable sleeping with my stepchildren, same sex or not. Is there a law that I could point out to my husband to show him that she HAS to sleep in her own bed? We live in Ohio. Please help!
He didn't kick me out of the
He didn't kick me out of the bed. I made the decision to sleep in the other room because sd kicks a lot, I have a bad back, our bed is too small, and as stated, I don't feel comfortable sleeping with a stepkid in the bed.
Tell husband that you've had
Tell husband that you've had it. If he wants to sleep with his kid both of them can 'camp out' in the living room. Alternative: using his credit card you check into a local hotel.
I had the same issue. I put
I had the same issue. I put my foot down. My DH said that the skid6 would never be able to sleep alone. We went on a week long vacation in June and I made it clear to my DH that we needed to make the change then. It was a long enough visit with skid6 that we could instill the new expectation of him sleeping in his own bed. First I made clear the DH that we needed to speak with skid 6 as a TEAM. If skid6 thought it was just SM (me) then it would be a divide and conquer situation, which you want to avoid at all cost. So, first you MUST get DH on board. Make it clear to him that this is absolutely NOT up for debate. Either you have your bed with him, or you are seriously considering leaving. I am completely serious when I say this. If DH disagrees then you have bigger problems in your marriage than the skid sleeping in your bed. This is YOUR bed, no one should tell you who sleeps in YOUR bed. NO ONE!
Now, how we handled the skid6... We sat him down and explained very nicely that he had to sleep in his own bed the entire night through. If he came into our room for any reason, he would be turned away and then we would be tired the next day because we were woken up. That means we couldn't do fun things like go to the beach or water-park. And it would make us cranky and irritable, another thing that would take fun out of the day. We framed the issue around stuff that skid6 valued. He values going to the beach and the water-park. The first night after the "talk" he tried several times, we turned him away each time. We didn't go to his room to tuck him in again and again, we just turned him away. There was NO reward for coming into our room. He got no benefit from it. The next day we stayed in and didn't do fun activities, making sure he knew we missed them because we were too tired. We didn't act angry or upset, we just made it clear that he made a bad choice. Night two, he opened the door, stood there and then turned around and went back to bed. Night three, not a peep. We rewarded his efforts and acknowledged his good choices. We told him he was acting like a big boy... he loved that. Ever since, no problems with the issue.